


Displaced

by Baldurdash



Category: Baldur's Gate, Dragon Age
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baldurdash/pseuds/Baldurdash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Varric Tethras must learn to get by without his wealth or connections in a strange new land. He gets some help from a dwarven gal and her friends on a dangerous mission. Can Varric earn the trust of his new companions and find a way back to Thedas?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to message me questions, comments, or leave a review. I'm open to constructive criticism and I really need some feedback.
> 
> Disclaimer: Dragon Age 2 and all mentioned places and characters, Baldur's Gate, Baldur's Gate 2 and all mentioned places and characters are all copyright BioWare, EA, Black Isle Studio or whoever owns this these days which is NOT me. I am solely responsible for the original characters of Essa and Mithiriel. (Not like you'd want them.) This is a work of fanfiction and is not intended to infringe on the copyright, this is just for fun not profit. Blah blah legal crap, etc.
> 
>  
> 
> I have tried to essentially make this a 'what-if' scenario that doesn't require much information on either DA2 or BG. I have been told it is enjoyable regardless but I think fans of Varric will appreciate it most. 
> 
> Also if the site permits it I will be suggesting 'mood music' to enhance your reading experience. For Chapter 1, I suggest Sour Girl by Stone Temple Pilots. Now go forth and read.

The sun threw a pink glow over the white walls of the city. Stall vendors cried out last minute sales while people shuffled by, eager to be home before dark. No one between the sweaty beggars and the immaculately dressed nobles the guards changing shifts noticed the dwarf enter the Five Flagons. At least this city isn't as ridiculously huge as Kirkwall, he thought to himself as he walked up to the bar. If he had to do ANY more walking, by Andraste he was going to shoot someone. He swore under his breath as he observed a scratch on his beloved crossbow, Bianca. It would buff out. A fishing boat crew had been kind enough to bring him along as they headed back to the docks and point him towards this quaint little establishment. How many times had he, Varric Tethras, helped some poor sod who didn't know which end was up? He remembered the look Marian Hawke gave him, that 'tell me where to start' look. She needed his help but only a push in the right direction. Maker, he missed her. Marian wouldn't bat an eyelash at this situation. But he was alone now. Alone in a big city with no connections. This was going to be tough.  
"Hail me good smiling friend!" grinned the small man behind the bar. He was even shorter than the dwarf, who cocked his head in puzzlement. That greeting was practiced, the stress of the evening was already beginning to show. "We have every drink available, what can I get you?"  
"Actually I'd like a room first." The dwarf smiled tiredly.  
"Aye, you do look like you could use a rest. We have ah..." The bartender studied something the dwarf could not see from his viewpoint "We do have one room left. Had a party of four come in earlier. Yes, the second door on your left upstairs. That will be eight gold please. "  
Varric dragged himself up the stairs and washed the grime from his face. Ironically he had pondered to himself not a week ago that he could use a vacation. This wasn't quite what he had in mind. He looked at his reflection in a smudged mirror. It could take weeks or months to find a way home. Might as well make the best of it.  
"I wonder what kind of booze they have here?"  
Figuring he would spend whatever's left in the coin pouch he liberated from a group of thieves, he stepped out into the hall. They weren't counting on Bianca though, were they? He chuckled to himself. That was when he heard it. Crying. Someone in the hall was crying. She was getting louder, too. (Assuming it was a she. Could have been some fop who broke his gilded mirror.) Hoping he would have to listen to THAT all night Varric headed for the staircase, but the crying person decided to stop attempting to be quiet and started full blown sobbing, with quick gasps of air in between.  
"Oh by the Maker, it's just a tavern!" Varric threw his hands in the air. He willed himself to walk downstairs and leave it alone but something compelled him to slowly walk down the hall and into the sitting area. He found no one, nothing but wagons used for decoration. He peered into the sobbing wagon and saw a small female hugging her knees. From the gloom she looked back at him. "Who are you? Go away."  
"Miss, you are waking the customers. Why don't you stuff your feelings the old fashioned way? You ARE in a tavern." He tried to get a better look at her but she shrunk back.  
"You mock my pain, sir. Please leave me alone."  
"At least go bawl in your room or let me buy your a drink. Yes, I will buy you a drink, will that make you feel better?"  
His answer was a leather bracer square in the face. "Ow! Miss, that's not very ladylike. I'm keeping this for that." Waving goodbye with the bracer he turned and left. He was scarcely four steps away before he heard a thump. Turning around he came face to face with a dwarven woman with long curly auburn hair, with two plaits on either side of her face, the rest gathered at the nape of her neck. Her cheeks were still damp with tears and her dark eyes were red and puffy.  
"I need that back, please." She indicated the bracer and held out her hand.  
"No. I have a strict policy to keep valuable things that are thrown at me."  
She grabbed up a staff that had been propped against the wagon. "Back. Now."  
"What happened to 'please'?"  
"Huh. Maybe I should name my staff Discipline. Then I discipline you and you learn some manners. "  
He hid the bracer behind his back. "Tell you what. You take it back from me and I leave you alone. Deal?"  
She scoffed. "I will not partake in such a childish game. You sound like Imoen." That started up a new round of tears.  
"Ah, so she does this;" He dangled the bracer over her head. "Keep away! Keep away! Nya nya! Nya nya! Must be a sibling. I bet you-..!"  
He was silenced when she quickly snatched it back. Putting the bracer back on the woman sighed. "Yes, Imoen is my sister. Unless by the odd chance you can tell me where the Cowled Wizards take their captives, we have no reason to continue speaking. Good evening." She gave him a stiff bow started to walk past him.  
"Wizards, eh? " He asked. "Is she a mage?"  
The woman stopped"Well, she knows a bit of magic...it's different from mine, though."  
"But you're a dwarf!"  
She pretended to studied him a moment. "YOU'RE a dwarf too. What an astute observation. Wait, where's your beard?"  
He rolled his eyes then gasped "I'm a dwarf!?" Clutching his face in mock horror he cried "When I woke up this morning I was an elf!"  
She couldn't help but laugh.  
"Mission accomplished. Finally. So these mages. Do they know anything about sending misplaced dwarves back home?" He asked, crossing his arms.  
The woman shrugged. "I don't know. They keep everything they do a huge secret. Magic is outlawed here in Athkatla. Anyone caught casting spells in the open is locked up somewhere. We're trying to find that out."  
He scratched the back of his head. "Oh yes, the sister. Perhaps we can both find these wizards and present our queries."  
She was about to answer when they heard an explosion downstairs.  
"We're lookin' for a dwarf man with no beard! Anyone seen him! Last chance!" A voice bellowed and five or six men marched upstairs. Varric drew his immense crossbow.  
"The dwarf with no beard...why am I always known as the 'dwarf with no beard'? Why can't I be the handsome dwarf, the charming dwarf with the amazing crossbow?"  
"Well well, " said one of the thieves. "Thought you could get away with interfering with our smuggling trade, eh?"  
The dwarf smirked. "No, I'm all for easy money. I just don't like being robbed. Hypocritical, I know."  
Another of the men stood dumbfounded and pointed at the dwarf woman. "Her. She's-...she...I seen her at the Promenade when they took the mage!" The first man laughed.  
"By the gods, a two for one deal! A sorry bastard AND a Bhaalspawn!"  
Varric threw a quick glance at her "Bhaalspawn?"  
The dwarf woman cast a spell, and the men froze on the spot, as though time itself stopped them and them alone. "We can take them!" She twirled her staff with more flair than expected, considering the thing was nearly twice as tall as she.  
"Your magic won't work on me, dwarf bitch." Then with a slightly wet thump, he looked to see the crossbow quarrel in his chest and fell over dead. The final man ran out but ran smack into more thieves.  
Taking a flask from somewhere in his coat, Varric said to his female companion"No time for a hilarious quip, RUN!" He hurled the flask and it shatted on impact, the fumes making the men disoriented enough for them to push their way past. Downstairs had turned into a good old fashioned brawl. The bartender was cowering under the counter as tables were flipped and chairs thrown.  
"There he is! After him!"  
"Time to go!" Varric headed for the door and he urged the female to follow.  
"My friends are still upstairs!" She protested.  
"I'm sure they'll understand, move it!"  
(No sooner had they begun their escape they heard cries from the top floor calling for nature's wrath and to go for the eyes. )  
They burst out of the inn with a dozen or so men following in their wake, spilling out into the night. Down the alleys and back ways, the Bridge District wasn't particularly big, and experienced thieves would know it like the back of their hand. With any luck though, they would simply give up. They got just as lost as Varric did! When a different set of thieves in the blackest of black showed up and attacked their pursuers, Varric jerked his female follower into an alcove. They were fast, efficient...brutal....these new thieves. Looks like their 'friends' were not welcome in the city...  
"Shadow Thieves..." the woman whispered. "They're very...territorial."  
The dwarf sighed and put away his weapon. "Well before we were so rudely interrupted...if I help you find your sister, will you help me find a way home?"  
She just stared at him. "You didn't seem very helpful in a fight back there..."  
He slapped his forehead" Come on, I'm lost here. I don't even know where I am or how I ended up here."  
She studied him a moment. "You didn't even tell me your name."  
"My name? It's Varric."  
"I'm Essa."  
"Charmed. Let's go back, I REALLY need a drink now."


	2. You Look Like I Could Use A Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a big drinker, so I had to Wiki a drinking game. Silvers is of course what I decided to call the Abeir-Toril version of quarters.
> 
> Mood music: Time Baby III - Medicine

When they reached the doorway to the Five Flagons, a black-haired man in leather armor hailed them.

"Essa! Minsc and I were looking for you! Are you alright?"

Essa shrugged "All things considered, yes, thanks to Varric here. Varric, this is-"

"Yoshimo." Said he.

Varric pasted on a smile. "Wonderful. Bar. " He clapped his hands once and brushed past Yoshimo and marched straight up to the bar. "I'd like a drink now."

The innkeeper's expression soured. "Aye, you get your drink as soon as you pay for the tables and chairs broken by the thugs that chased you out the door!"

"My good sir, t'was not I who broke your tables and chairs but the thieves. And besides, I think this will cover it and then some." He dropped a huge bag of gold coins on the counter. "Just keep it all. It will cover the substantial tab I plan to build. "

He turned to Essa, who was watching the guards milling about asking questions. Without that depressing look on her face, she was actually quite pretty by dwarven standards. She turned to him, her hands behind her back.

"You silver tongued bastard. He's not gonna kick us out?"

Varric suddenly wore his misplaced trademark smirk again. "Not a chance. I just smoothed things over. Don't worry."

"I wanted to apologize. You sort of caught me off guard. I'm sorry I was rude."

Varric waved his hand lazily. "Don't mention it. Water under the bridge." He turned and pressed a tankard into her hands. "It's on me."

Essa took a drink then looked to see Yoshimo waving them over to a table. He had a pitcher of beer at his elbow and playing cards were scattered all about. Apparently he had missed out on the fun and the other players had scattered.

"I found one that's intact. Come, sit. "

The more the merrier, it would seem. The trio sat, with Varric doing most of the talking. Essa watched the two rogues with passing interest, shifting in her seat. He spun some cock and bull story about how he'd bravely rescued Essa from twenty thieves and taken down the Shadow Thieves that had, in truth, come to their 'rescue'. Yoshimo seemed to pale when the Shadow Thieves were mentioned, and while he listened intently, he didn't not seem to buy it. He humored the dwarf anyway. Essa didn't even bother protesting or calling him a liar. She only listened quietly, giving her savior an appraising look. Finally Varric relented that of course they had really only ran like they were chased by demons, but what he had already told sounded much better and he thought he would share before it left his head entirely. Varric could spin a tale just enough to make it seem legit, but even he knew when he had crossed the line into blatant lies.

"What ails you, dwarven lass? You've been quiet." Yoshimo nudged her.

"I'm just a little down, that's all. Plus I'm not charismatic as you two, I guess."

Varric inclined his head and grinned wickedly. "Know any drinking games?"

Yoshimo pounded his fists on the table. "Come on, Essa! Get that silver into the glass! I am thirsty!"

"Stop making the table shake so I can get a good arch on the bounce."

The silver coin landed in the glass of beer with a fizzy plop! and Essa smiled, feeling rather silly that she found such a sense of accomplishment in it. She annoyed the two males by approaching the game her Kara-Turan companion called Silvers with the precision and deliberation one usually reserves for chess. Yoshimo took the glass.

"Now, you pick someone to drink the beer, and the drinker must catch the coin in their teeth. Then the person to the left of the shooter shoots. Get it? I will go first."

Swirling the beer around, making the coin clink the sides for emphasis, Yoshimo drained the glass and grinned, showing that he had caught the coin. Varric slowly applauded.

"If you don't mind, I think I will have my own coin if I have to taste it."

"What if you swallow the coin?" Essa asked.

"Well then you drink more until you get it back!" Yoshimo said as he refilled the glass.

"Eww!"

For the next hour or so, they took turns shooting and drinking. The usual chatter of the inn was absent. This was no Hanged Man, but it would do in a pinch. Yoshimo spoke of a better tavern called the Copper Coronet which would be better suited for men of their particular talents. Plus the waitresses were prettier. The short bartender was, as Varric learned, of a race of people called halflings, as was the serving girl who happened to be the bartender's wife and scowled and threatened anyone who so much as gave her a wink. Varric scoffed. People shorter than the dwarves. How rich. Essa, who had a few beers in her by now (most of them courtesy of Varric), spoke up on her theory of what brought Varric to this place. It wasn't so very uncommon for this kind of thing to happen, she explained. All it would take was the wrong kind of magics occuring at the right time. She also guessed correctly that he wouldn't know of such things as magic. No dwarves anywhere were partial to magic, it seemed. The only reason she knew anything of magic's practice was because her father was a great wizard, and her sister was a budding mage as well. Essa spoke fondly of the two, but there was still sadness lingering in her voice. She changed the subject soon afterward and insisted they start drinking something stronger. Somehow they ended up in the upstairs commons passing around a bottle of rum.

"No, no. I know exactly what you're going to say. You're going to say I. Did not. Have. Sexual. Relations. With that barmaid." Varric snatched the rum bottle from Yoshimo. By now everyone was too toasted to care about whose mouth was on what. "Say, that sailor gal was giving you the eye, Yoshi."

"I think she would have been more interested in Essa." Yoshimo tried to take the bottle back, and Varric finally did with reluctance. "How is our fair maiden holding up?"

Essa sat up and stared at them. "Don't pa...don't...um...don't patronize me? That's it. Don't patronize me, human. Three syllable words are hard."

"Hehehehe. You said 'hard'." Varric pointed out. They all laughed.

"You males!" Essa half-heartedly smacked him on the shoulder. "Always thinking with your...happy place!"

"So when someone tells me to find my happy place.." Yoshimo began, causing another bout of laughter.

"Yeah, that sailor...she had um, one too many. I think she wanted to find my happy place!" Essa chuckled. "I'm sexy. Irresistable. Can you blame her?" She took a long pull from the rum bottle she stole from Yoshimo. "Uh oh, I think Yoshimo is all done." The human was passed out onto the floor.

Varric pushed him with his foot. "He'll be fine there. Say, I've been wanting to tell you that I'm sorry for being an ass to you earlier. I just can't...I just can't stand to see a woman cry."

She smiled. "That's alright. Either you're incredibly sweet or easily annoyed. if it's the second one, I don't recommend joining my party."

Straightening up and folding his hands in his lap, Varric put on a polite tone. "So Essa, what brought such a lovely thing like you to the surface?"

Essa shook her head. "I've always been a surfacer. I actually don't know much about my people, apart from stereotype and what I've read in books. I was raised in a fortress by a human."

Varric slouched in his chair, cupping his chin in his hand. "A fortress. Interesting. But you said your father was a wizard, he was of no military background."

"Yes, but it was no military fortress. It was a keep that held a great library. A great collection of knowledge where people came to study in peace. In fact, the only way to enter is to present the Keeper of the Portal with a rare book."

Varric made a noise that sounded something like a derisive snort and a stifled laugh. Essa's expression hardened. She went on.

"Yes, A library fortress. You wouldn't believe the kinds of fun growing up surrounded by old scholars. But I had Imoen at least. She and Gorion were...Father, that is..." she trailed off and rubbed an amulet shaped like a silver scroll between her thumb and forefinger. Clearing her throat she asked "What about you? You seem to be straying from the norm."

Drawing a breath, Varric replied "My house was cast out of our city. I've never actually been there, though. Orzammar. My brother and I continued the family business on the surface in the human city of Kirkwall. And who's to say I'm even from another world? I could be pulling your leg for all you know."

She only smiled. "You wouldn't dare."


	3. Animal Crackers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood music: Putting Holes In Happiness (Acoustic) - Marilyn Manson

When Essa woke up the next day, she became aware of three things. One, she had a massive headache, two; there were animal crackers all over the place and third, she was in bed with someone. Her heart leapt into her throat then she patted herself down. Sighing relief, she noted gladly that she was fully dressed and so was Varric. She watched him curiously for a while, then edged slowly off the bed wondering how he would react if they'd been caught, innocent or not. Of course Yoshimo would give them both hell for it. Blushing furiously, Essa snatched her boots from under the bed and slowly made her way towards the door. A pile of the little circus animals crunched underfoot.

"What are you doing in here?" Varric asked sleepily. He ran his fingers through his hair and wondered why it wasn't tied. "Oh shit, did we...?"

Stopping dead in her tracks, Essa squeaked in surprise...then dropped her boots, grabbed a nearby decorative urn and brought up last night's dinner.

Varric averted his gaze. At least he had been lucid enough to remember to put Bianca safely in a chair in the corner. Poor girl. He cleared his throat. "I take it you've never gotten that wasted before." He slid off the bed and poured two glasses of water setting one beside Essa.

"Oh it's getting in my hair..." Essa moaned, then felt her braids be lifted away from the mess.

"I am just so bad to you. Feel better?"

She panted and rinsed her mouth. "I think so..URGH!" Nope, round 2. A female voice down the hall called her name and a tall woman in chainmail poked her head in the door.

"Essa! Are you ready to go? Aerie is here waiting and...oh. What...happened?"

Varric took a moment to compose himself. "I was just taking care of the lady here. Seems she was deep in her cups last night."

"I see. And you are?"

"Varric, at your service."

Without another word, the woman pushed Varric aside and muttered some sort of spell. Given her reaction towards him, any hopes of getting that magic hangover cure were immediately dashed. "Honestly, Essa. Gorion must be spinning in his grave. "

Whatever she did, Essa could now face the daylight and what it brought. "Jaheira, this isn't what it looks like. We were up late talking and must have fallen asleep."

Jaheira sighed. "I am not here to judge you, Essa. I sometimes worry about the company you keep, however."

"A rogue, a man with a head wound who talks to a hamster, a wingless Avariel, and a nosy druid?'

"And a dashing beardless dwarf who talks to his crossbow. Don't forget him." Varric interjected. He stopped to think about it. "What a motley bunch." And where did all these sodding crackers come from?

The nosy druid turned. "You are coming? "

"Yes. Bianca and I are lost. Magic brought us here and we'll run with you until we find this uh, Irene?"

"Imoen." Essa corrected him, the added to Jaheira. "Bianca is the crossbow over there."

"Imoen, right. And somewhere along the line find a way home. It's a win-win."

Jaheira fixed Varric with a gaze that wilted his smile a bit. She'd be a tough nut to crack. Reminded him of a certain red-haired someone...

"And how do we know you will remain loyal to Essa? How do we know you will hold up your end of the bargain?"

At least one of you has a little sense, Varric thought. Nice trusting girls hanging around scoundrels. This one's fresh out of a library running around having to save a human. But Varric knew he had to at least stick by this Yoshimo character, he seemed to know the city. And hell, why not have some fun while he was here?

"So, what, do you want a contract? Sign on the dotted line? In blood?"

Jaheira did not take her eyes off him. "Let's all meet downstairs."

Essa donned her boots and giving Varric an apologetic look slipped out of the room. Pulling the door shut, he could hear her yelling at Jaheira "Hey, hey! I'm the leader of this here outfit! Who are you giving out orders?"

"I swear Essa, you can be so thick sometimes."

"Yeah? Well you're ugly."

"That was very weak."

"Oh, shut up."

Varric drummed his fingers on the table as he observed his new team in this strange little place. Yoshimo and Jaheira he'd already met, but two new additions, a tall bald man named Minsc and an elf, Aerie, were also present. Aerie smiled politely at him and Minsc cooed at the hamster sitting on his palm. Essa leaned over to whisper to Varric.

"Minsc is a little...special in the head. We already told him why you're coming with us and why you don't swing an axe and have a beard, but he might still say some off-the-wall things. Just humor him, he's got a good sword arm and his heart is in the right place."

Jaheira looked at her fingernails a moment before speaking up. "Everyone, as you know our mission is an unhappy one. We seek the mage Irenicus in retaliation for the atrocities he's committed, as well as the retrieval of Imoen. We have reason to believe that they are being held in the same place. We all have our selfish reasons as to why we stand beside Essa in this endeavor. The road will be long and dangerous. "

"Dangerous?" Varric asked eagerly. "I am definitely in."

"Really?" Jaheira gave him that 'I-want-to-hurt-you' look again.

"Yes. And I can see that you want to know why I *really* want to contribute. If I have any actual use. "

"You have no reason to pursue Irenicus, or Imoen. You are not as emotionally invested in this as we."

Minsc clutched his head in his hands. "The mage Irenicus killed my Dynaheir! His foul magics slew my friend! I was to protect her and I failed... But he will taste the sword of Minsc!"

Aerie patted his arm. "Minsc, calm down. " She looked at the others, still trying to soothe her bodyguard. "The party needed a mage, and I...I want to see the world. I have Minsc to protect me."

"Irenicus tortured me and slew my friends. I want his head on a plate." Essa added dangerously.

Varric gave a low whistle. This was heavier than he thought. He did not envy this Irenicus fellow. "And you, messere druid?"

Jaheira's face turned to stone. "He murdered my husband."

Varric shifted uncomfortably in his seat. When he finally found his voice, he said "You're right so far. But what about him?" He gestured towards Yoshimo.

The thief was leaned back in his chair, feet on the table. "They rescued me from Irenicus' dungeon. I have no taste for revenge, but I am guiding them around the city."

"Well" began Varric as he rose from his seat feeling a bit agitated. "I think I've made it very clear that I need a party at my back until I find a solution to my little problem. What would you ask of me to prove my worth?"

"Swear an oath. All of us as witnesses." Jaheira suggested.

"Very well." He gave an exasperated sigh and raised his right hand. "I, Varric Tethras, hereby swear loyalty to Essa of Candlekeep until she deems fit to release me, or death takes me. Does that satisfy?"

Scoundrel he was, but Varric had standards. This was downright ridiculous. These people weren't as easy as the people of Kirkwall, that was certain. He sat back down and finally stopped frowning. It was more than a little irksome that Essa did not vouch for him when he was on the chopping block like that. She didn't even look his way.

Pfft. Women.


	4. Something Diabolical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgotten Realms constellation information comes from Candlekeep Forum. (How apropos!)
> 
> Mood music: (Double your pleasure)  
> Path - Apocalyptica  
> The Foreboding Sense of Impending Happiness - HIM

"I'd like to know if you treat everyone who saves you that way." Varric said as he finally caught up to Essa. He tried to keep his tone light but it still grated a bit.

Essa was walking farther ahead, but she did not so much glance at Varric. Instead her black eyes seemed to trace the architecture's every line and curve, stone and beam. She mumbled something about masonry. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I stuck my neck out for you and you let your friends grill me like a steak. I'd like you to explain?"

She kept her eyes fixed ahead of them."All I can do is apologize on Jaheira's behalf. She's not...easy to win over. Be ready for a fight, the slums is a notorious hangout for criminals. And worse."

Varric laughed a single note. Now we're talking. Still, his name carried no weight here. He had no coin to turn heads nor the wrath of his allies to come down on the heads of anyone foolish enough to tangle with Varric Tethras. Now he was no one. It was equal parts refreshing and bothersome to be anonymous. He wondered how the Merchant League was getting by back home without him. Athkatla's slums, which had no charming name like Darktown or Lowtown was rife with the usual squalor. Merchant stalls, puddles of Maker knows what, dirt covered hovels ready to topple if looked at wrong. In the center of it all was the Copper Coronet, the epicenter of this wretched hive. Essa stopped and waited for the others to catch up so they could enter the tavern. She regarded him again.

"Let me make it up to you. I've been jerking you around a lot when you could use a friendly face right now. Believe me, I know how that feels. "

Varric pushed the door open and gestured for her to go in. The rest of their group filed into the tavern, wary of the eyes upon them. Many a patron lowered his tankard and turned to stare.

"Why are they all staring at us?" asked Aerie.

"Let me put it this way; because we are all goody two-shoes." Essa replied.

Speak for yourself, Varric thought. Now he was in his element. Roaring fires, drunkards, wenches in low cut dresses serving awful swill and there was even blood on the floor. He almost got teary-eyed. There was even a brawling pit! Joy! Making their way towards the bar, a dwarf in heavy armor holding an axe strolled alongside Essa.

"Oh, missy. Me name be Korgan."

She looked at him nonplussed. "Beg pardon?"

"I tell ye now so ye won't forget when I bend ya over the railing. Har!"

She yelped as she felt a hand on her rear. Korgan laughed, but when he saw the murderous glare in her eyes changed tactics.

"Forgive me, I mistook ye for the usual nasty harlots in this palace o' sin. But now that I see yer face clearer by the fire, I see ye are no such thing."

"Just give up. Now. Please." Essa begged under her breath.

He knelt and took her hand, though he still held his axe. "Such beauty is liable to set me tongue loose. It addles the brain. I beg ye to forgive me. "

"Um.." Essa felt a knot growing in her stomach. She wondered if embarassment was fatal. "Kinsman, please. I'm not here for this."

"My full plate arse, woman, I'm tryin' ta be nice and court ya properly. " Korgan said through gritted teeth.

She tried to take her hand away but he held it fast. "Kinsman, PLEASE!"

He stood and released her hand. "By the gods, alright! ...wench..."

Essa stormed over to the party's table and flopped down between Aerie and Jaheira. "Chivalry is dead." She said flatly.

"Did this one propose?" Jaheira inquired with an impish grin.

"No, thank the gods." Essa rubbed her temples. "Just because I'm the first dwarven female they've probably seen in decades doesn't mean I want to roll in the hay with them."

"Pairing with humans gets dull after a while." Varric said to Yoshimo, who gave him a look of pure shock before bursting into laughter. Jaheira tried to get the subject back on track.

"Anyway I've spoken to Bernard. There is much work to be done behind the scenes in this city. Most of it is...questionable...particularly the bounty for Valygar Corthala. " She paused. "But one service we might perform is ridding the city of...slavers." She added in disgust. "I just wish to leave this place as soon as possible. I am sure my backside will have bruises."

Both Aerie and Essa looked uncomfortable, echoing their disdain for their rather misogynistic treatment. Thankfully they were rid of Salvanas, the lecherous elf who liked to hang around the bar and fawn over everything in a dress. Jaheira had guessed that Varric threatened the elf when Bianca was brought up and the elf clearly misunderstood that she wasn't a person, but in truth Varric confessed he felt if the elf needed a tumble he could go upstairs and pay; he didn't appreciate people treating respectable women like slatterns. The sod buggered off pretty fast after that. Obviously he doesn't know what to do with a human woman in the bedroom. Essa kicked around the idea that they should leave Minsc behind, since he was apt to going into berserk mode and attacking everything in sight, his allies included, and bring along a more competent warrior, namely the paladin Sir Keldorn Firecam. There was also another job mentioned, clearing monsters from Lord Jierdan Firkraag's estate. Indeed there was much work to be had; beasts to slay, people to rescue and random things to be collected. Somewhere in the chatter Yoshimo had slipped away and Varric spotted him talking to someone he could not see. He did see them exchange coins, however. Then he remembered something Yoshimo had said. He'd been rescued from Irenicus' lair and was...helping...them around Athkatla. His eyes narrowed. 'Helping'. Right. When Yoshimo returned, Varric said "Who's your mysterious friend there?"

Yoshimo did not even blink. "Oh just collecting a debt. "

Varric pressed his gloved hands together. "Tell me, why are you REALLY in the party? I have to say you really aren't providing any better service than a bartender who likes to gossip."

"Believe me, friend, I am under the same scrutiny as you. Many thieves in this town would take the opportunity to get in good with a party of adventurers, cut their throats in the night and make off with their fancy armor, swords and scrolls. If I give you reason to doubt my honor, I will make sure any doubt is erased."

Varric smiled anyway and pushed down the urge to punch him in the face. Bullshit. You are a bullshit factory. It takes one to know one.

)(

Sir Keldorn Firecam thrust his two-handed sword into the chest of the final yuan-ti. Some noble girl requested assistance at her keep, and Essa agreed even after learning the culprits were nigh-invincible trolls. But with Aerie's acid spells and Yoshimo's enchanted fire arrows it wasn't as tough as they initially believed. The keep was locked up tightly. It was no accident, that was plain as day. No beast would just happen to dig its way into the keep.

"That is a fine crossbow you have, master dwarf." Sir Keldorn called to Varric as he wiped his blade clean with a rag. "Is it of gnome make?"

"No, Ser. She's one hundred percent dwarf make." Varric patted Bianca appreciatively

"It makes my old crossbow look like a toy." the old paladin chuckled. "I'm sorry...what I meant was SHE is a fine weapon."

The young noblewoman, Nalia, plodded up the steps onto the battlement. Essa slapped her forehead. This girl was worse than Imoen. Sighing, she counted "Three, two, one." and gestured on the exact moment a fireball whizzed overhead and exploded. Essa saw nothing, but heard the ruffle of silk as Nalia ran past her, finally leaving everything to the professionals. The beasts fell quickly to Jaheira's new scimitar, much to her delight, and Nalia even came back to finish one of them off with a scorcher spell. It was Yoshimo who opened the drawbridge, and Lord De Arnisse's men poured in. Essa prayed they had thinned the numbers enough. Soon she and her party forced their way inside.

"We've done what we can, Essa. The rest is up to you." said one of the guards. She nodded and led the group upstairs. It too was plagued with trolls, but not as much. Whoever started this was sure they'd already won. They were all surprised to learn that Nalia's aunt was holed up with a single bodyguard, and she was most ungrateful that her niece had hired peasants to traipse through the keep and save her life.

"The woman is sodding mad!" Varric commented. "Better to die surrounded by luxury, I suppose." Nalia shot him a glare. " I'm used to ungrateful people but this lady takes the cake. The whole damn bakery, in fact."

"Please forgive her, she was raised that way." Nalia said automatically. She seemed to have to apolgize for her aunt a lot.

"Just saying, if honor was actually valued more than coin, I know at least four of you who should be waited on hand and foot. Milady thinks her shi-"

She regarded him dully. "Enough, please."

Varric scoffed. The nerve of that woman! They come to save her sorry hide and all she worries about is delousing the halls befouled by her saviors, flogging the servants for not keeping the fire going and chewing out her niece for running with commoners. And he thought dwarven nobles were bad.

Nalia's servant Daleson mentioned that umber hulks would run him over to get to their dinner of delicious dog stew and Varric took it upon himself to undertake this task to distract the beasts. He wished Aerie were still present so she could cast one of her invisibility spells on him, but Jaheira assured him she would use her strange ability to call forth roots of the earth to entangle the beasts should they run after him during his escape, but hopefully that wouldn't happen. Slowly making his way down the corridor, the umber hulks took no notice as the dwarf slipped past. It would take too long to drop the tureen and draw Bianca. He held his breath as he moved into the cell block. There was a massive hole in the ground in the very last cell. Surely that was how the invasion started...from within. He plopped the stew in the cell, thankful to be rid of its stench and sauntered off, rounding the u-shaped cell block and out the back door as soon as he heard the stampede. He leaned against the door, pushing it closed as Sir Keldorn slammed shut the other. It would have been most un-roguelike if he had managed to pilfer the weapons guarded by the magical golems but not feed a bunch of monsters. Still, his heart was pounding as he looked over the others who sighed in relief.

"This is by far one of the strangest jobs I've been on." Varric dusted his hands and wrinkled his nose. "Are we just going to leave them in there?"

"Leave them for the guards, we've already done a lot today." Essa waved the comment away.

"Huh. Right."

The final trolls, somewhat intelligent enough to speak, all but confessed they had been sent by Nalia's fiance, Isaea. To the surprise of her hirelings, she torched them with her most powerful spells and even gutted one of the creatures with her short sword. Still, slaying them now became more of a chore than a real challenge. But when the last troll fell, they made a horrific discovery. Slumped against a statue of the god Tyr was Nalia's father, the Lord De'Arnisse. Both Jaheira and Essa said prayers, and Nalia dropped to her knees, not caring that her gown was filthy and bloodstained, and hugged her father's body. The others looked away and the chamber echoed with her soft sobs and curses upon herself for not being able to save him. Sir Keldorn murmured some words of encouragement to the girl while Jaheira stood vigilant for more trolls. Yoshimo whistled at the elaborate architecture, then silenced himself. Varric's face twisted with something like annoyance blended with pity. He looked over at Essa, who looked on the verge of waterworks as well. She mentally kicked herself before speaking.

"Nalia, I know what it's like to lose your father. If you want to blame anyone for his death, blame me."

Wiping her face with her sleeve Nalia stood up and shook her head. "No. You did everything I asked of you. No one is to blame but the trolls."

"I didn't do everything I could have done. It's just like when my father died...he died protecting me. He told me to run. You've been courageous throughout all this." Essa smiled weakly. "Just know if there's anything further I can do for you, all you need is ask."

Nalia swallowed hard and nodded. "There is...one thing. " She crossed the room, being careful not to trip over the troll corpses and halted in front of the dwarven cleric. "Take me with you. I want to leave this place. I'd rather find my own way than be tied to the Roenalls."

Essa pondered this a moment, then looked to the others for approval. "No objections?" She turned back to Nalia. "Very well. They will not trouble you on the road."

)(

Nalia still managed to scrape together a substantial reward and they all trudged back to Athkatla in silence. Varric suggested they all stay at a nicer inn and it was unanimously voted that they stay in the Mithrest Inn, a small but classier inn at Waukeen's Promenade. It was then Varric saw the collapsed part of the Promenade's wall, where he had been told marked the arrival of Essa and her three companions and the start of her current task. The first thing on everyone's mind was 'bathe', and the group was grateful for the attentive staff and luxury of the establishment. Soon, everyone was soaking in a hot bath, still talking to one another despite a large partition separating the women from the men. Nalia said little and huddled in the claw foot tub with the water up to her nose.

"Varric, are you there?" Essa called. Silence. "Hello?"

"This is awkward. All that separates us from each other's naked bodies is a thin wall."

"Oh come on, you prude. " She giggled. "It won't kill you to talk to me. I wanted to tell you it was really...impressive...the way you handled the umber hulks."

Jaheira grumbled that she'd rather have a hot spring, but once she slid into the water changed her tune. Yoshimo was drifting off to sleep in some far corner until Varric tossed a bar of soap at the screen obscuring him when he heard him start to snore. While the women were adjacent to one another, the men made it a point to be as far away from another as possible and made use of all the privacy screens.

"It was nothing." Varric said with ease. "But did we all really have to bathe at the same time?"

"Yes, so we'd get it done and no one put it off til tomorrow. Plus it was cheaper."

Then came the 'remember-when' stories. Varric listened, smiling. He slid deeper into the water and wished it was his old crew all the way in Thedas. It was nice to have camraderie in this place, though. Essa had sent for the inn's servants to tend to their weapons and gear, and while Varric was reluctant to entrust his clothing to a stranger, he was delighted at the job she did and gave her a large tip. Bianca on the other hand would be tended by him and him alone. The night wore on. Keldorn gave in to sleep early and Nalia sat alone at a table in the corner staring at the glass of wine Jaheira bought her to help her relax. Once satisfied that Bianca was in good working order Varric wandered the inn to look for something else to do. He asked around and the bard told him the dwarf girl was outside. He relunctantly exited the inn and saw Essa seated on the stone wall. Waukeen's Promenade was a large oval shaped, arena-like structure, with large tiers all with shops built in facing inward. In the center was the circus, though now quiet. Essa still wore the robe provided by the inn -though it was too long for her- and she turned to face him. He himself was dressed, but lacking his coat and gloves.

"Feel better?" She asked.

"You were right and I was wrong. Ok, yes I feel better." Varric ran a hand over his damp hair. "What are you doing out here? You're probably the first dwarf here to enjoy the outdoors."

She looked up at the black sky. "Looking at the stars. I hated having to memorize the damn constellations but I find myself watching for them anyway."

Varric took a seat next to her, though still facing the inn. "It's funny to observe dwarves seeing the sky for the first time. They're always sure they'll fall into it."

"I guess that makes it weird for me to like the sky, huh? "

"Not really. You're a shrewd negotiator, a miser, and you have a short temper. You're still a dwarf. The only way you could be more of a dwarf is if you were a smith and were insanely proud of your heritage."

She giggled, and that pleased him. "You got me there. But I hate getting sweaty and my heritage is nothing to be proud of. We all have our quirks."

Essa looked straight up at the heavens. There was no sound except for the occasional breeze blowing scraps of paper around. She pointed up to the distant sparks of light. "See that group of stars? The three in a row? That makes up The Warrior."

"That's supposed to look like a warrior?" Varric furrowed his brow. "I'm not even going to tell you what it looks like to me."

"Ohh! Use your imagination! Sir Keldorn would know this one. The humans associate The Warrior with loyalty, guardianship, battle, and freedom. Mostly gods like Tempus, or Sir Keldorn's patron deity Torm, the god of justice. The elves consider it to be Auranamn, the first elf, who died in battle against the orc god Gruumsh and his soul was placed in the heavens by Corellon and...sorry, that's boring."

She laughed nervously. Then there was that dreaded awkward silence. Or maybe...no. It was comfortable silence. Essa leaned back slowly to get a look at Varric's face. He looked serene, for once. She screamed at herself inside her head to say something. But Varric beat her to it. "Humans spend too much time making up names for shiny, pretty things in the sky."

"Well people in ancient times had no idea what they were and so they-" She interrupted herself. "Boring, sorry. I get all...bookworm...when I'm nervous. Hehe."

He leaned and nudged her with his shoulder. "You stared down a pack of trolls today and *I* make you nervous?"

Essa's shoulders drooped. "You've been kind and I've been afraid you were still cross with me. "

Varric leaned back, supporting himself with one hand, draping the other arm across his knee."Essa, if I were still cross with you, you'd know it." He then leaned back with both hands and rolled his head to face her"But I will admit that I was wrong about you."

Her mouth formed a straight line, the rest of her face blank. "I don't follow."

"You can get shit done."

Oh. She shrugged it off. "I do what I have to do. And I admit I was wrong about you, too."

Varric stretch his arms and stood up. "Well I'm going in. And don't you dare say I'm nice...people might find out. Good night, Essa."

With a quick glance behind, she said "Good night, Varric." and turned back to her beloved sky, the twinkling lights above and beyond. And for a moment, a flash of light arced across the sky and she made a little gasp. Making a wish would be cheesy, she chastised herself. And it would take more than a comet to bring Imoen back.


	5. Tis What The Maiden Proclaimed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drow translation is from Chosen of Eilistraee.
> 
> Mood music:  
> Bard's Song - Blind Guardian  
> Burning In The Skies (Piano version) - Linkin Park

The bartender announced last call. Was it that late already? Varric was still not sleepy. He declined a final drink and collected his pay from the two fools who thought they could best him at cards.

"Pardon me, sir." purred a woman in a deep red cloak. She leaned over Varric providing a rather lovely view, her blonde ringlets tumbling over her shoulders. She was at least part elven, as evidenced by her ears. "Are you acquainted with the dwarven cleric of Oghma?"

"I might. Who's asking? " He replied huskily. Come on, lady. I know you want something. Just spit it out. She laughed softly.

"Don't be coy, I mean no harm. I come on behalf of my master. My name is Mithiriel." She laid her hand on her heart. "He seeks a magical tome, and one of Oghma's disciples to destroy it. He will pay well. He has much coin, and magical trinkets besides."

"And why might he need a cleric? Why not someone else?" Varric did not take his eyes off her.

"Word spreads quickly about heroes of mettle, master dwarf." Mithiriel slinked into a chair across from him."The tome is cursed and requires a cleric of the god of knowledge to dispel the magic over it, much less handle. It is a dangerous thing to one such as you or I." She then placed a pouch heavy with coin on the table and slid it to him. "Consider it a partial down payment for helping us at least find the cleric Essa."

Varric found it hard to focus on the lovely elf's face, but finally shook his head slightly to regain focus. "Why so secretive, Mithiriel? It's awfully late to be making deals."

She slid her foot up his leg under the table. "My master is...well, his identity is a secret. He prefers I work under cover of darkness. I will meet you here tomorrow and we will set up our contract with Essa."

Swallowing, Varric tried to keep his mind from wandering dirty places long enough to agree. She was coming on awfully strong. Not that he blamed her. With a final caress of his face with one hand and the other wandering to his chest, Mithiriel left giving him a wink and a giggle.

Yep. Still got it.

)(

Essa had released the party to do as they will for the next three days. Sir Keldorn went home to spend some time with his wife and daughters and report to the Most Noble Order Of The Radiant Heart. Nalia attended her father's funeral and Jaheira disappared somewhere. She said she had some private business to attend to. Essa had told her there was no use hiding the fact that she was a Harper anymore, but Jaheira threatened to cave all their heads in if they breathed a word about it. Yoshimo took off somewhere too, probably to the Copper Coronet to spend some time with one of the exotic beauties in the brothel upstairs. Varric stuck around the Mithrest Inn after telling Essa about the new information he'd gathered. Essa grumbled something about fetch quests but agreed it sounded promising. She'd almost started drooling when Varric mentioned the client was extremely private and was throwing around a lot of money. She started wildly guessing that the mysterious client was a member of the Council of Six and could no doubt help them with the rest of the coin it took to bribe the Shadow Thieves. Varric had his reservations about the Shadow Thieves...after all, he'd seen them work the night they met. She set his worries to rest by saying as long as Yoshimo was with them they were safe. So that was it. A spy for the thieves. What are you waiting for?

By eleven o clock, Essa was seated at her desk in her room scribbling some notes and stealing a few glances at a book. After a while she set those things aside and flipped open a large journal tied with a leather cord. Varric looked up from his own writing, the topic of which was 'none of your damn business', and raised a brow. A glimpse of its contents showed it was full of sketches. Rising from his chair in the corner he said "Oh a warrior AND an artist. Let me see." He cross the room and peered over her shoulder at the battered book. She held the journal so he could see better. "Oh, just a couple of doodles. One of my tutors had it out for me because I drew in his study books. Father got me this and said to cultivate my talents here instead."

Early pages were crudely drawn landscapes, flowers and trees. Later were more detailed drawings of weapons, experimentation with shading and angles and a large sketch of a banner bearing a stylized flame, labeled 'Candlekeep'. Crude attempts of people came next, with notes of proportion and poses. As the pages turned, proof was shown of Essa's talent. Still later was a portrait of a young human girl labeled 'Imoen'; a rotund, smiling man, 'Winthrop'; the one dubbed 'Gorion' was smeared, however. More people she knew were present in the precious journal. Minsc, Jaheira and her late husband, Khalid, a dark-skinned girl named Dynaheir, Aerie, Sir Keldorn (and what he might have looked like as a young man; very dashing apparently) and Nalia, whose portrait awaited finishing touches. Before she could show him the last page, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter." Essa commanded. The door swung in and Mithiriel stood there.

"Ah" said the elf. "I see you've held up your end. Come, there are safer places to talk."

The two dwarves followed Mithiriel out of the inn and into the Government District. The plaza was filled with upper class twits tossing coins into the fountains and sitting in the shade of the trees gossiping about who was courting whom, who looked fat in her corset and other mindless things important to people with more coin than sense. 

"Master, we've arrived." She called upstairs. Shortly, an old man in a mage robe and slowly made his way down the stair, his face obscured by his hood.

"Blast it girl, I told you to to call me like a dog!" He regarded the two dwarves in his foyer. "But you've succeeded. Welcome. Who is he?" The old man glanced pointedly at Varric. Mithiriel blinked.

"Uh...he's-"

Varric adjusted his sleeves and lapels. "Her backup."

"Quite. Er...right this way please." He gestured for them to follow him into a library. Varric half expected Essa to look around in wide wonder at the piles of dust covered volumes, or at least to sneer at the lack of housekeeping but she stayed strictly in business mode. "Have you heard of the legendary Tome of the Unicorn?"began the wizard and Varric tuned out after that. He didn't much care about what the thing was. It could be a screenplay, or something. Robbed of a chance of ogling Mithiriel further Varric hummed quietly to himself then came across a happy little tome on one of the piles adorned with a giant skull surrounded by teardrop shapes. How lovely. Then he wondered idly where the old fart hid the smut. Of course with the nubile Mithiriel around he didn't exactly need it. Rooting through the piles of books, Varric settled on the tasetful nudity of the Maztican natives when Essa suddenly walked past him saying "Let's go, Varric.". He clapped the book shut, lobbed it in a random direction and tried his best 'tough bodyguard' swagger. Mithiriel giggled and waved goodbye from the stairs.

"You look a bit disappointed." Varric said as the mansion door closed behind them. The midday sun seemed to make the white stone of the Government District blinding. Essa leaned over the stone railing.

"Well he's not from the Council of Six. He's a guest of one of the stuffed shirts here."

"So long as he has the coin, why does it matter? I don't think you want to get into politics."

Essa turned around and leaned back against the railing, arms outstretched with her legs crossed at the ankles. "I like it here. Maybe I won't go back to Baldur's Gate once it's all over after all. Maybe I'll get enough coin to buy a place here and spend all my time at the temple of Oghma."

"I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself."

"Make no mistake, I'll burn down all of Amn to find Imoen."

"But you took the job. "

"I did. "

A young man came jogging up to them. "My lady, are you perchance named Essa? I have a message for you." The courier handed Essa a letter, and after tipping waved him impatienty away.

"My aren't you popular?" Varric snatched the purse from a passing noble and tossed it over the railing. Maker, these people are easy! Maybe he ought to stay a little longer. But somewhere between the way he got here, the lack of real magical restrictions, neverending plagues of monsters (no Blights here), despite not lacking for good company Varric would have liked to go home. Soon. He almost resented Essa for holding him to his oath, and Jaheira for even making such a suggestion. As long as it was mutually beneficial however, it would hold. And he was even beginning to like them a bit.

"Who's clamoring for your attention now?" Varric asked once Essa was finished reading the letter. 

"Feel like seeing a play?"

)(

The letter was from another of Essa's acquaintences, a bard named Haer'Dalis. He'd written that he'd begun a new acting troupe and invited her to opening night. The invitation of course led all the way back to the Five Flagons where it all began. The bar area was empty and a few others lingered at the stairs leading down to the playhouse. The ushers waved them in to take their seats. Jaheira, Yoshimo and the others were already there.

"Looks like it's going to be a packed house, eh Viconia?" Essa said to a heavily cloaked figure who issued what could only be interpreted as cursing in a strange tongue. "I wasn't aware you were interested in theater. "

The figure looked up at Essa, eyes glowing red in the low lighting and shade of her hood."Waiting in the graveyard for you to lead me about gets boring after a while. I thought I would come see whatever you surfacers do for entertainment."

"Udos xuat inbal jiv'elgg jouse ghil, F'sarn stre. Taudl ulu fallkip dos." Essa tilted her head.

Viconia gasped then hissed in a low voice. "Still your tongue, fool. Do not utter drow here!" She watched Varric as he milled about with the others."Who is the male with you? Some fool you picked up on your way to certain death at the hands of a madman?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you cared about me." Essa reached to pat Viconia on the arm but she slithered away from her touch.

The drow woman snorted. "So he is a dwarf like you."

"Yes, and yes he has no beard because he doesn't want one and he's not from around here, does that satisfy?"

"He should bed you. Then you would not be so..." She gestured to the whole of the dwarf woman. "This. "

Essa's face turned scarlet. She then felt someone take her hand and kiss it. Looking up she saw that it was Haer'Dalis. "So good of you to come, my raven! But pray tell, why doth a maiden-blush bepaint thy cheek?"

Viconia looked away. "I told her to show she has a libido before she rusts."

Haer'Dalis laughed and waved Essa up the aisle while the rest of the audience scrambled for good seats. "Well come away from this sharp-tongued harpy and sit. " He led her to a seat between Jaheira and Yoshimo. Essa turned around in her seat to look at the crowd. It was quite a substantial turnout, probably not as big as Haer'Dalis has hoped for.

"Bastard could have given ME a front row seat..."Varric grumbled. "Can't see a damn thing over Yoshimo's head."

Yoshimo leaned to one side and the audience applauded as the actors entered the stage.

)(

The play recieved a standing ovation. Haer'Dalis was busy buttering up the nobles in hopes that they would bring their friends for the next run the following night. When he asked Essa if she would be so kind as to contribute some coin for advertising, she obliged. The amount was not disclosed but it was enough for Haer'Dalis to take Essa in his arms, dip her low to the ground and plant kisses on both cheeks. He bid the party stay for a few rounds and still in the mood to entertain, stole another bard's lute and played them a few songs. As for lodging, they were out of luck. Visitors had already inhabited all the rooms; they would have to try their luck elsewhere. People slowly trickled out of the Five Flagons, among them Essa and Varric.

"And so I said, 'Hello, my name is Moron, and this is my good friend Boob and behind us are Brainless and Nitwit." Essa laughed as she walked, her arm linked with Varric's so she would not trip over some raised stone. "Whoo, I love...you know what I love?" She put her hands on Varric's shoulders, who watched her with great amusement. "I love...CAKE!" She snorted and laughed harder. "Oh man, tonight was fun, wasn't that fun? That was fun." Pausing she looked into his eyes. "You have the most..."

"You're a mess."

"Says you. I am perfectly fine, sir."

He stepped back from her. "Then stand on your own." Essa did nearly head for the stone until he caught her.

"Point taken. Take me to the Mithrest?"

Varric guided Essa to the inn at the Promenade. Essa began to get chatty again as the wine wore off, though she didn't let go of his arm. He did not even mind. She told him more about Imoen and asked about his family. Imoen was a proficient thief, she said, but they both dreamed of a life of adventure like in the stories Gorion read to them as girls. Of course, this wasn't quite what they had in mind. Essa pressed him to tell her of the Champion of Kirkwall, the human woman Varric knew, the beautiful lady who wielded powerful magic and slew dreadful beings called 'qunari', dragons and ogres alongside her brother and their friends. While Varric spoke, Essa drew a picture of a dark-haired beauty weaving a spell. She showed him and he touched the picture with almost loving tenderness. The hair was wrong, but the eyes...few artists could catch the spirit of a person and commit it to paper, but here Essa had almost perfectly captured Hawke's confidence and inner fire. 

"You miss her the most, don't you?" Essa asked with a teasing smile. "What happened to her?"

Varric sighed deeply and shook his head. "I got a letter from a stranger telling me that someone I missed was safe. And I..."

Essa stared at him, her hands clasped in front of her fingers laced leaning on his every word. "And?"

" I tried to find out where she was. Some said she returned to Ferelden, others said she was hiding out in Orlais, even more said she'd been made tranquil or she was in Tevinter. No two stories match. I wanted to hunt down that courier and steal back the reply. But in the end, she loves Anders and not me. She's safe though, and that's enough." He looked up and sighed again then saw that Essa was nearly in tears. "What's the matter with you?"

"That was the most romantic thing I've ever heard! Action, intrigue, unrequieted love. It's beautiful. It's like a novel!" The look Varric gave her was only slightly less cheerful than a graveyard. Suddenly the carpet became very interesting. "What I mean is...that Anders isn't anything special, I bet." She held out her arms and bent her hands at the wrist as if dismissing Anders herself then stood up and crossed the room to the window.

"I guess if you like tall blond handsome mages who help the downtrodden and have a soft spot for kittens." Varric leaned on his elbow on the desk, face on his palm, clearly still wishing to put Bianca's blade through Anders' eyes, or worse.  
Essa grinned back at him."Sounds dreamy...oops!"

"I imagine you're tired of the taste of your foot. You know, you're a hopeless romantic."

"It happens when you've never been ki- AUUUGH! GET DOWN!"

Both dwarves hit the floor as soon as the fireball detonated, catching the furniture on fire. Essa rushed to save her precious journal but was caught, spun around and seized by the throat.

"You...! You tricked-...!" Her words were cut off by the iron grip. She tried to pry the fingers off her neck to no avail. Varric had rolled over onto his back and his assailant kicked Bianca away and put a sword to his chest.

"Get up. Nice and slow. No funny stuff." Varric raised his hands in surrender and complied. Eyes flicking wildly about, he tried to find a way out. The room was filling with smoke as the flames grew. When the two attackers heard footsteps coming, one of them uttered a spell and the last thing Varric heard was Essa's cry of "NO!".

Then everything went white.


	6. Heavy Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music: Farewell - Apocalyptica
> 
> Yes, more Apocalyptica. They win. I met them last year, just thought I'd brag.

"Varric...Varric...can you hear me?"

When Varric's vision returned he came face to face with Jaheira. Yet his surroundings were different. He knew it wasn't a dream, he could still smell the smoke on his coat. The new room was nauseatingly gaudy. It would give the Orlesians a run for their money on tackiness. "I can hear you just fine. Oh I feel so stiff! Where are we? What happened?" He suddenly remembered. "Essa! Where did they take her?"

Jaheira grabbed his face with one hand and looked at one side, then the other and leaned over to get a better look at his eyes. "Yes, Essa is gone. I was hoping you could tell me what happened to my ward."

He pushed her hand away. "You say that like it's my fault. Are you still waiting for me to stab her in the back?"

"I am Essa's guardian, it is my duty to-"

"Essa is old enough to take care of herself."

Silence. The stubbornness of dwarves is legendary, but against Jaheira even the most hard-headed of dwarves would give an inch. Or six.

"It was her late father's wish that I accompany her. It is what...Khalid...would have wanted. " Jaheira turned away from him. "If something has happened to Imoen, she is all I have left..."

Varric's face softned considerably. "I'm sorry. I know how...trials can bring people closer than blood ties." Then he remembered something else. Bianca was back at the Mithrest! Damn it all!

Jaheira exhaled sharply and motioned for him to follow. "I have been looking for you since early this morning. Nalia and the others are searching the city for clues."

A man in a dressing gown stuck his head into the hallway. "By Tymora, it moved!" He scrambled up to them. "Now see here! I'll not have you taking my statuary!"

"Statuary?" Varric glanced from the nobleman to Jaheira.

"You were petrified. Whoever took Essa turned you to stone so you could not follow. Apparently this fellow thought you made a nice decoration." Jaheira snickered.

"I will call the guards! Thieves! Brigands!" The fop hounded them all the way down the hall and contined to fuss and they tried to ignore him. Varric worked out his stiff joints, still feeling a little fuzzy after last night. "So I assume you guessed Mithiriel's master had something to do with it."

"The old man who commisioned the search for the Tome of the Unicorn?"

The nobleman continued to whine. "I will not have you marching into my home and-"

Both of the 'thieves' turned and said, almost simultaneously "SHUT UP!" The owner of the house backed up until he encountered a wall.

"Anyway.." Varric went on. "Yes. Guess the man doesn't have a name. But I wasn't expecting he'd get the drop on us. I always expect a double cross nowadays but...

"Did you see anything suspicious in his home? Anything at all? " Jaheira asked desperately. Varric thought a moment, then described the skull tome he found. Jaheira's face blanched and she stopped dead in her tracks. Varric almost bumped into her and wondered what the skull entailed. He looked over at the nobleman who muttered something about wishing he hadn't sold 'that crossbow' and Varric marched up to the man and gripped him by his clothing.

"What did the crossbow you sold look like?" Varric tried to remain calm but his anger seemed to drive him. With every word, he seethed and it was becoming harder and harder to speak. "Wood stock with brass?" He thumped the man against the wall. "Tell me!"

"Large, wood stock, brass accents, yes! That's the one..AUGH!" Varric slammed him harder, the vibration causing paintings to fall off their mounting.

"You SOLD Bianca?" Varric roared. He didn't even care if the whole damn Amnish army came after him. "To whom!"

"If I tell you, you'll just hurt me more...!" The man shielded his face and only Jaheira's timely intervention saved him from a beating. She held back Varric's fist with both hands saying, "Let him be for now Varric. I promise we will find Bianca. She is safe, unlike Essa."

Varric drew a shaky breath and threw a menacing glare at the noble. "I'll come back for YOU." Jaheira placed her hands on his shoulders and pressed him toward the door. Oh, Maker...!

)(

"I heard a rumor that might just be worth following up." Yoshimo announced as he approached the table where his comrades sat. They'd all be running themselves ragged looking for clues. Varric sat bouncing his legs on the balls of his feet, feeling anxious and still livid about the loss of Bianca. No amount of booze would help. The others, especially Jaheira, looked sick with worry.

" 'Rumor', 'might'...those words of uncertainty are not bringing us any closer to Essa, Yoshimo." Sir Keldorn said tiredly. Yoshimo crossed his arms indignantly.

"Really? Then feast your eyes upon this!" With a flourish he laid a large medallion on the table for all of them to see.

"The seal of the cult of Bhaal." Jaheira said.

"Where'd you get that, Yoshi? " Varric still did not trust the thief. It was infuriating that the others would take his word over his. Who had a more honest face? Please. Yoshimo's eyes flashed.

"I was hoping you could tell me. You see, your latest client, your mystery mage is part of the Twisted Rune, an organization of necromancers. Do you even know what the Tome of the Unicorn is for?"

"I...didn't quite catch what it was for." Varric admitted. You slimy bastard, what are you on about?

Circling the table Yoshimo continued to speak. "Poor Essa could probably tell you all about it. From what I've heard, in short it is used to create magical portals, stone golems and raise armies of undead. So, this mage is essentially trading Essa's life for the tome, don't you see? The cult of Bhaal would secure it for him once they had the lass in their hands!" He slammed his hands on the table like a prosecutor. "And you led her right to him!"

Everyone but Sir Keldorn and Varric slowly rose and left, shaking their heads. Varric lay his head on the table. When he looked up, he saw the paladin was still there.

"What?" Varric's voice cracked. Bianca is gone, Essa is gone and everyone hates me. But Sir Keldorn...he ought to be canonized. Sir Keldorn placed his crossbow on the table.

"It's no Bianca but it should serve you until we find her."

)(

The stone door swung open, the stench of death and decay assaulting the nostrils of the man and dwarf. Ancient and vast, the crypts of Athkatla hold much more than the dearly departed. For some coin, a little blackmail and a chat with the dark lady Viconia, the path to Essa's captors led them here.

" I must say I am not willing to believe that drow witch. But I will continue to assist you, Varric." Sir Keldorn said as they stepped into the tomb. "Her kind are deceivers."

Varric did not mind the smell, he was simply grateful to get out of the pouring rain. "Essa saved Viconia's life. Viconia wants to return the favor. Why would she lie? "

Sir Keldorn frowned deeply when he recalled Essa cutting the drow woman down from the pyre set up by fanatical worshipers of Beshaba. They'd met up north in the Sword Coast, she told him, and Essa had saved Viconia from Flaming Fist mercenaries...the first time anyone had shown mercy to the drow without wanting anything in return. While Varric agreed with Sir Keldorn that Viconia needed an attitude adjustment, he did not feel she was irredeemably evil, or a product of her environment or some such thing. Well maybe a little, but she was getting better.

"Besides," Varric added "You must not have heard her say" And here he tried his best sultry drow accent " 'If you fail to bring her back alive, I will kill you.'" Back to normal voice. "See? She cares. As long as someone dies, she'll be happy as a lark."

Sir Keldorn shook his head and they proceeded into the darkness.

)(

Amidst the chanting, no one heard Varric sneak closer to get a better view. Several black robed figures stood clamoring for the return of the Lord of Murder in unison, one clutching a dagger. What were they looking at? He inched closer.

Essa!

Upon a black altar already caked with old blood, Essa lay unblinking, stripped of her armor. Varric's thoughts raced. He and Sir Keldorn could maybe take out half of these worshipers... His mouth went dry. Time was running out. He then felt a hand grab him and pull him back out of the room. When he turned to face his attacker, Mithiriel clapped a hand over his mouth and motioned for silence, then led him back deeper into the catacombs.

"I am sorry, Varric. I had no idea he was a Bhaalist. But if you act now, it will do you no good. "

"The more we hesitate, the closer they are coming to sealing her fate..." Sir Keldorn drew his sword.

"Please, I have a plan." Mithiriel spread her fingers. "I will use my magic to hold as many of them as I can, you take Essa and run."

Varric and Sir Keldorn exchanged glances. Mithiriel pleaded. "I beg of you, trust me. " They each gave her a single nod and she bolted down the hall and they followed. The cult leader raised his dagger high, poised to plunge it into Essa's heart.

"And so we destroy this mortal vessel, this pathetic soul who houses a piece of the Lord of Murder. Another Bhaalspawn falls by my hand, O Bhaal. To fuel your return!"

The bolt from the borrowed crossbow found its mark, and the entire group turned to face the killer of their leader. Before they could react, most of them stood, held fast by some unseen force before a blast of icy air crystallized them. Sir Keldorn and Varric smashed through the cultist-shaped ice pops and the few survivors fled. The cult leader managed the pluck the bolt from his back and slumped over the altar, groping blindly for the dagger to finish the job.

"You will not take her!" Mithiriel cried as fire flew from her hands. The old man, his robes abaze, swung wildly at Varric who stumbled backwards smashing into the ice statues. Sir Keldorn thrust Hallowed Redeemer through the cultists begining to reanimate, afraid they'd cast spells of their own.

"Just die already!" Varric put another bold through the man's throat, but that barely fazed him.

"Fool...I am already dead..." His face and skin melted down to bones, and deep within the empty sockets a fire leapt forth. "I will collect the essence of Bhaal and ascend to godhood!"

"A lich...!" Mithiriel gasped. Sir Keldorn urged her to run, but she took an amulet from within her robes. "You gave me this for safekeeping. It's your phylactery isn't it?" She cast the amulet on the ground and raising a large piece of rubble.

The lich emitted a horrible scream and stabbed Mithiriel with his dagger up to the hilt, and twisted it painfully, then turned his attention to Essa, still upon the altar unmoving. Wake up, Essa! Wake your ass up and smite him! Varric pleaded, still paralyzed from the unholy scream of the lich. His eyes darted to Mithiriel, her wound opened up larger eaten away by acid. He felt a pulse, the air around him ripple, and the magic was gone. Sir Keldorn charged forward and impaled the lich on his sword.

"In the name of Torm...begone!"

Varric wasn't sure if time had stopped, but another ripple and in a flash, the lich exploded in a storm of magic. Sir Keldorn fell to one knee, panting. Varric held Mithriel close. "Damn it, if I had Bianca with me, you'd..."

"No, it's alright...I didn't think that was really his phylactery...I wanted...to give you some time... "Mithriel smiled. She raised her head to look at the altar. Varric turned to see Essa watching them.

"It's cold and I'm in my underwear. Did I pass out first and lose?"

Mithriel laughed hoarsely then placed her hands over her heart. "I've tried to heal myself but it is no use. I am a broken vessel."

Essa stumbled towards them and laid her hand on Mithiriel's forehead. "She's right. It's no good. Wait, what do you mean?"

"I took his phylactery and placed it within myself. That amulet..was a decoy...a copy of the original...otherwise Sir Keldorn would have only destroyed his...physical body...I knew...he'd try to kill me..."Mithiriel looked from one dwarf to the other, and touched Varric's face. "Too bad there is no time...for us..." Essa gripped Mithiriel's other hand. "I thank you all...I am free... of his corruption." One last breath escaped her and she was still. Sir Keldorn removed his helm and watched them.

"She laid down her life to save us...and who knows how many more deaths were prevented with the destruction of this abomination...truly a brave woman. I will tell her tale...such selflessness is more heroic than overcoming impossible odds and the boasting of adventurers in taverns."

Varric gently laid Mithiriel back down and looked at Essa, who still stared at the deceased elf in a mix of fury and sadness. He couldn't help but notice the scars on her body. Not battle scars, no...they were far too clean cut. Besides he knew between Essa's healing powers, Jaheira's skills and the potions they all put away like a garbage can, they were not from a life of adventure. He then remembered she'd been tortured...she apparently caught him watching and turned away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." He said.

"Well I am nearly naked and...my scars aren't something I want people to see..." Essa covered herself as best as she could with her arms. Sir Keldorn said a prayer for Mithiriel. He looked up and mouthed the words 'Be a gentleman' to Varric, who then stripped off his coat and laid it on Essa's shoulders. "Here, until we can find something else."

"It's soaking wet." She complained.

"Shut up and take it, I'm trying to be nice to you. And I should be the one complaining, you've got old sticky blood on you."

"I guess prancing naked in the streets of Athkatla will have to wait another time."Essa put her arms through the sleeves, pulled the coat closed and tightened the belt around her waist. It was too big on her but she was covered. "Bastards even took my good boots and my necklace."

"I dare not linger." Sir Keldorn said. "Let us go."

)(

Essa breathed deep the fresh air once they surfaced. Rain still fell from the skies as though mourning Mithiriel. They returned to the Government District and Sir Keldorn invited them to stay at his home. Once inside the Firecam estate one of the servants roused from his bed came and helped Keldorn out of his armor and stoked the fire so that his master and his two guests could dry themselves. They sat in silence for a while until Essa spoke up.

"Thank you...both fo you for saving me."

Sir Keldorn gave her a warm smile. Essa returned it, but only briefly. "What troubles me is...only the two of you came..."

"The others do not trust Varric. Yoshimo had them convinced your abduction was his doing." The paladin said. Varric sat watching the fire, the anger from Yoshimo's accusation started to return. Essa looke him up and down.

"I was going to ask, where is Bianca?"

D'oh. Reopening the wounds again. "Long story short, some ass sold her."

"I'll get her back, I promise. Let's try to get some rest."

Essa patted his arm. And he even believed her. He still wanted his coat back, but she did look kind of cute in it... "Just tell me one thing...what is the story with you and Bhaal? You act like you getting kidnapped and nearly sacrificed is no big deal."

Essa shrugged. "That's an...average day for me, actually. Bhaal? Well see...it's sort of a taboo subject." She looked down at her bare feet, then back up at him. "You see, a while back the gods of this world were forced to take mortal form and walk the earth. You can guess how well that went...a few killed each other... and the god Bhaal foresaw his death and went unto women of all kinds and begot mortal offspring. Every time a Bhaalspawn dies, his or her part of the god's essence fuels his return and I'm...one of those Children. It sounds farfetched, I know."

"The Lord of Murder Shall perish but in his death he shall spawn a score of mortal progeny...Chaos shall be sown in their footsteps." Sir Keldorn recited. "As foretold by Alaundo the Seer."

Varric made no jest, nor react negatively. He had little incredulity in him, even in his short time in this strange place, this Faerun. His mind was abuzz with questions but he had no idea where to begin. For the first time in his life, he had nothing to say. He thought about making a reference to Blondie and Justice, or demons and mages, but this was not Thedas; people weren't just locked up for being some spawn of something, they were killed.

"Do I look normal to you?" Essa asked, staring into the fire. "You recall the first time we met, I was crying. I was crying because I want to be normal. Next month it will be a year to the day of Gorion's murder and my flight from Candlekeep. I was crying because I had been running for so long I never stopped to mourn him, then I had Khalid and Dynaheir to mourn and then Imoen was imprisoned and it all just hit me at once."

"You have been strong for so long, it is not a weakness to give pause to mourn." Sir Keldorn said quietly. Varric continued to listen in silence, finding himself unable to look Essa in the face. The fire in the hearth crackled softly and the rain continued to fall, thunder rumbling in the distance.

"More than that, I felt like anyone who ever stood by me would be doomed to the same fate." She stared at her hands. "I just wish Oghma would give me more power to protect everyone." She twisted her fingers into her hair. "And then I hear the voice of Bhaal inside my head, telling me to kill...telling me to give in to the taint...the horrible nightmares...Khalid, Dynaheir...Gorion...Imoen...begging me, begging me to save them...!" By now she was trembling with rage.

Sir Keldorn. put his arm around her, and she buried her face in his tunic as though she were a small child again, crying to Gorion over a scraped knee. Varric wished Sir Keldorn would have knocking him out cold for bringing up Bhaal and Gorion and all those painful things. Essa looked at him with that sad face again, just like that night at the Mithrest. She looked so lonely and scared...that face nagged him. She was no martyr. She did not invite the wrath of the entire world upon her by making pacts with unholy things. She'd simply been born the way she was and did everything to pretend she was not part of some great plan or some long dead seer's prophecy. In an act that surprised even himself, Varric touched her cheek and wiped her tears with his thumb.

"If you think we're going to leave you now, you're dead wrong. In the pouring rain, deepest hellholes, bars with an early last call...bring on your liches, your Bhaal cults, your mad wizards...I think I speak for all of us when I say we will stand by Essa of Candlekeep and stop them every single time. I swore an oath, didn't I?"

He glanced up to see Keldorn's look of approval. A household servant entered the room. "The guest rooms are ready, Lord Keldorn." Keldorn dismissed the servant with a nod and bid the two dwarves good night. When Varric left the room Essa was still staring into the fire. He did not even bother removing his boots before he fell onto the bed and into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.


	7. My Fair Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:  
> Marry Me - Emilie Autumn
> 
> I Could Have Lied - Red Hot Chili Peppers 
> 
>  
> 
> A little of this chapter is revised from the version found at Fanfiction.net.

Varric woke up late the next day to find his coat laid out on a chair, dry as a bone. Putting it on he walked into the sitting room to find Keldorn, Lady Maria and Essa all casually drinking tea. He snickered at Essa, as she was dressed in what appeared to be one of Keldorn's wife or daughters' cast-off gowns hemmed to be short enough for her to wear and her dark red hair braided all the way round her head. There was a large cloth bundle under her chair. Essa glanced up, smiling smugly into her teacup before cooing "Good afternoon, sleepyhead. "

"What happened to you? You look...weird." Varric said as Lady Maria invite him to join them. He declined tea but took one of Essa's cinnamon rolls when she wasn't looking. Tearing off the loose end of the roll, still warm and dripping with icing he took a bite and...oh Maker...Maker! That is better than sex! 

"Did you sleep well, Master Varric?" Lady Maria asked as a servant poured her more tea. 

"Like a rock as it were, my lady." 

Essa drew herself up."'Fabulous' is the word you're looking for. Young miss Vesper thinks I'm her new doll. And to think you're making fun of me when I did something so nice for you."

"Which is?" 

Essa set down her teacup and retrieved the large bundle. "I had to endure a long-winded gnome, but I got Bianca back." She raised a corner of the cloth to show him. Varric's heart nearly burst from joy and he took Bianca back in his arms.

"BIANCA! Thank the Maker! " He hugged the weapon and tried not to cry while the lord and lady of the house looked on chuckling. "I'm sorry, baby." He said to it. "Where did the bad man touch you?"

"That 'bad man' happens to be another esteemed colleague of mine." Essa said. "The inventor Jan Jansen. He said he cleaned her up a bit, but otherwise didn't touch her. He commented on her quality quite a bit, said that repeating crossbows are definitely the way to go. Then he went off on some tangent..." She rolled her eyes.

"He saved her from bandits. Had they gotten hold of her, you'd have never seen her again." Keldorn added.

 

Varric laid Bianca in another chair and vowed to never let her out of his sight again, then threw his arms around Essa. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank. You. So. Much." Essa blinked in surprise.

"I, uh...er...you're welcome?" She returned the embrace and patted his back, and suddenly hoped she smelled pleasant, not of dust and old blood. Varric stood back with her at arms' length, smiling. Not smirking, smiling.

"So, do I look too ridiculous, or shall we go see Jaheira?" She asked. "We're planning on heading to Trademeet. Much work to be done, you might even like it there."

He offered her his elbow. "I will escort m'lady to yon Adventure Mart to find her the bludgeoning instrument of her choice. Plus a suit of armor so she won't get blood on her finery as she smites the wicked."

She linked her arm with his and they thanked the Firecams for their hospitality and strolled out into the Government District, where even for a pair of dwarves recieved more stares than usual.

"Aw I miss my staff." Essa sighed as they walked among the nobles. "I never did think of a name for it. Jaheira said 'Ceremonial Whoopass Stick' was too informal."

" 'Ceremonial Whoopass Stick'...that sounds perfect for you." Varric waved at a passing couple." I especially like the way you use to to fling pots at pickpockets."

"That was one time!"

"That shopkeeper was furious."

Essa chuckled nervously remembering the look on the man's face when he saw seven of his finest pots in pieces around her. "Oh, and I was going to say, sorry about getting so heavy last night. I hope you don't think I'm some sort of crybaby."

"Nonsense. I think of you as a fiery heroine who swings a mean stick. "

"Oh gods. You make me sound like I'm subject of some wish fulfillment tale on a lonely maiden's nightstand." She spat derisively. " Fiery."

"Alright then, from now on I'll think of you as a drab crybaby who couldn't lift a butterknife."

"Don't get cute with me. You're the one who was whining to me about your unrequited love for a human."

Varric paused. "I did?"

"You did." Essa looked right at him smugly.

"I was drunk." He said simply.

"So...it wasn't true? And you didn't get to Bianca in time to stop those cultists from kidnapping me because you were drunk?" Essa let go of his arm. Varric said nothing. "I'm so glad my safety is so important to you!" She quickened her pace and Varric stopped. Real smooth, Tethras. And this was just going to give Yoshimo fuel in trying to cut him out of the group. That bastard. Alright Bianca, moving in to apologize, now shut it. Varric ran ahead and stopped in front of Essa, blocking her path.

"Don't talk to me." Her voice was flat and a bit hard. Thankfully he caught himself before he stupidly pointed out how that frown made her look old. He could tell she was in no mood for jokes.

"I'm sorry." Why was he always walking on eggshells with these people?

Her face reverted to a more neutral expression. "You know what your problem is?"

What? Was his apology not good enough? Oh this should be rich. "No, pray tell me librarian, what is my problem?"

Besides being too sexy.

"You're not really mad at me, or Anders...you're mad at yourself for not making a move sooner."

Varric crossed his arms and pressed his lips together. "I didn't think she'd be into dwarves. " He shrugged. "And I didn't think I was really into a human. But if you think about it, it could work out very nicely given exactly...where...a dwarven man reaches a human woman."

Essa pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and snorted, trying not to laugh. "Oh my gods! That's dirty!"

"There you go making me confess. Must be a hero thing. You want to just share your troubles with them." They both chuckled and continued on their way. Essa fanned herself lazily with a folding fan, gesturing with it occasionally. Varric was still on where he came to eye level with human women. Better keep talking lest I start walking funny. "But what about you? Is there no special someone in your life? No handsome hero you doodle his and your initials within a heart in your notebook?"

"Oh, don't tease me! There's no one."

"No one?"

"No one! Don't have the time or the inclination."

"You said you were pretty popular with the dwarven men and Haer'Dalis was awfully flirtatious with you. Is it the whole priestess thing?" He thought back to their first meeting. No, he'd remember if they'd...

"I'm not chaste, if that's what you mean. There's a temple dedicated to...that...the clerics of Sune are trained in the, uh...erotic arts. Not all priests abstain from...carnal pleasures. It depends heavily on the god."

"So Oghma doesn't demand you deny yourself anything?"

She shook her head. "No. His only real tenet is he asks that we abstain from stupidity. God of knowledge and whatnot." Essa took a deep breath and watched the clouds lazily float by above. It was now starting to get warm outside. She then glanced back at Varric. "Oh and Haer'Dalis is insane. Well, he's an actor, I just figure he's being courtly. Trying to charm the coin out of me."

It apparently works, Varric thought. He instead shifted the subject to cities, commenting that Athkatla was pretty but not as pretty as Kirkwall. Especially Hightown where the nobles lived. Essa looked astonished when he described the cliffs of the City of Chains, the statues eveywhere of slaves mourning their lost freedom. When she asked him if he missed it, Varric said 'yes' too quickly for his liking. The Chantry in shambles, his insane brother...there wasn't really anything there to miss. He did mention that before he took this detour he'd recently returned from the Deep Roads. Anders had reasoned that whoever could bear to part with the lyrium idol that drove his brother mad surely found some way to cure themselves; and perhaps the answer could be found in one of the long lost thaigs. They'd found a few trinkets, nothing special. The only real answers could come from the Shaperate -the keepers of dwarven lore and all other records, based in Orzammar- but they probably wouldn't be too keen on helping surface dwarves, especially those who had been cast out. Exiles were even considered castless by some. Varric preferred the surfacer convention of being able to work your way up. Titles meant nothing and coin was never in short supply. On the other hand, maybe it was best for Bartrand not to remember what he had done. He recalled his brother's brief return to sanity thanks to Anders' magic and while he wished the 'cure' would have been more permanant, perhaps the kindest thing was to leave him the way he was. Either way, the Merchant Guild needed its House Of Tethras seat filled.

It was surprising to Varric how few dwarves were in Athkatla. He'd heard a grand total of two were hanging out in the city of late, not counting himself and Essa. There was that shady fellow in the Copper Coronet bitching about a lost shipment of illithium and rumors of a serial killer on the run from Baldur's Gate. Most dwarves stay away from the cities, Essa told him. She knew little of her people, she was raised around humans, blah blah, knew two dwarves in Candlekeep but they rarely spoke of themselves. Her story was a great big ball of cliches. The only thing that set it apart was the whole 'god-child' thing. Something about her invoked fear in people. Something in her was inherently evil, yet she tried so hard to be good. Varric pondered this in silence as they entered the Promenade. He remembered her words 'do I look normal to you?' Yes, and no. She always wore that preoccupied expression, though anger was behind her eyes as though her inner monologue had turned into a full scale shouting match. There was that time he saw her apologizing to an innkeeper for breaking a mirror. Varric suddenly pictured Essa raging against her reflection, trying to silence the call of her blood. Yet she was unquestionably charismatic, drawing a bevy of followers to aid her cause. Also, there was a lot of coin to be had in adventuring. It was scary how many people will follow you for profit...one never knows who doesn't feel like sharing and will kill you in your sleep or slip poison into your mead. The Amnish soldier guarding the store gave Varric a curt nod as he passed. Did something about him just scream 'I have sticky fingers'? Maybe these Torilians...Torilites? Maybe these people weren't so dumb after all. Ribald Barterman, the half elf proprietor of the Adventure Mart greeted them with his usual speech.

"The Adventure Mart is the finest shopping in all of Faerun-"

"Widest selection, lowest prices, blah blah we get it." Essa finished with a smile.

"Fine, I'll keep my fancy speeches to myself. What can I interest you in today?" Ribald spread his hands, confident he had what they required. A retired adventurer, Ribald turned to the mercantile business to aid the next generation of dungeon crawlers and treasure hunters. Essa browsed the maces and morningstars and Varric chatted up the shopkeeper. He offhandedly mentioned he was trying to get home and home was...very far away. Ribald went about straightening up the store and dropped the name 'Khollynnus Paac'. This Paac could possibly be Varric's ticket home...but she charged a hefty price. Nine thousand gold pieces to be precise. Varric swallowed and watched Essa be fitted with armor. He thought briefly of Imoen, alone and scared waiting for her 'sister' to come save her. Maker, I am getting soft. Rescuing damsels in distress. Plus he had Bianca nagging him. It was only for her influence that he was even being forthright in his actions. How many times had he thought about just taking a little off the top and running for it? It would have been easy...but no.

"Keep me in mind. I would like to get in touch with Miss Paac, but I will...need to find the coin first."

Varric knew for a fact they had a little over ten thousand gold, but today's trip to replace Essa's equipment would set them back quite a bit. There was always things to do though.

"I need something with a little more heft." Essa said as she approached the counter.

"Well now, let me see..." Ribald mumbled to himself, looking over the weapons racks and trunks. Finally he took out a rather intimidating mace. "Ah yes, here we are. Enchanted, this one. Lightweight but still guaranteed to make your enemies go 'squish'. Or 'crunch'." He snapped his fingers and one of his employees set up a watermelon on a crude training dummy. "Ah yes, the Amnish drill seargant's favorite nemesis, the ripe watermelon. Go on, give 'er a swing."

Essa took the mace in both hands and raised it over her head, bringing it down hard on the hapless fruit with a satisfying crunch and surprisingly little effort, throwing the bright red innards all over. "Perfect."

She took up one of the larger pieces stil attached to rind and took a bite, the pink juice trickling down her chin holding the mace aloft in her mock victory."Sold!"

)(

"Essa! Thank the gods you are alright! Where have you been?" Jaheira dropped to her knees and hugged Essa briefly. Essa looked as though she had been stunned. This show of affection was highly unusual, 'out of balance' but she returned the embrace nonetheless.

"It's a long story but..." She glanced pointedly at Varric as he leaned in the doorway. "You can thank Sir Keldorn and...Varric for helping me. Were it not for them..."

Jaheira stood and dusted off her knees before approaching Varric. Her stern expression was replaced with a look of watery-eyed relief, as though she'd been told she'd never have to eat again or won a lottery. She looked so young now, not like the Jaheira with the weight of the world on her shoulders who had more than her fair share of emotional upheaval. Varric barely heard her hoarse 'thank you'. He wanted to say it was no big deal, she would have done the same for him, et cetera, but that was too trivial. More than words could express were exchanged when he looked upon the druid's face. Mutual understanding and respect, profound gratitude. There was no need for words.

Varric seemed to hear only white noise when Nalia came down the stairs and took Essa's hands, expressing relief that she was safe and sound. He ignored the rest of the sappy reunion to wet his throat with a good ale. A good hard slap on the back caused him to inhale the foam and he turned to see Yoshimo.

"Sorry friend." The bounty hunter slid into the seat next to him. Varric sneered briefly.

"I'm not your 'friend'. You accused me of getting Essa abducted." 

Yoshimo twiddled his thumbs and stared into the mug placed before him by the bartender. "About that. I beg your forgiveness. I merely acted for the good of the party. We were not sure of you. "

Varric just stared at him. Yoshimo cleared his throat. "Well let me pay your tab for starters, as a gesture of goodwill. I think it is abudantly clear you are an asset to this party. "

"Whatever clears your conscience. " Varric turned back to his drink.

"By the way..." Yoshimo smiled slyly. "Whatever happened to that lovely elven lady?"

On that note Varric chugged his ale, ordered another and put half of it away before answering. "She's dead."

"Oh...well..." He hoisted his own mug high. "To her memory." Varric gave a half-hearted 'hear hear' and toasted Mithiriel's memory. Yoshimo shook his head. "Such beauty. What a waste."

Varric tried to console himself with more ale and the fact that gorgeous elves were never in short supply. Most weren't up for an interspecies fling but...well, he could dream. He felt useless. Sure, Essa was fine, but why did Mithiriel have to be sacrificed? Why couldn't he have saved them both? He turned to look at Essa, talking with Jaheira and Nalia, telling some story and gesturing wildly; perhaps the tale of her daring rescue. She saw him looking and gave him a bright smile, which faded when he did not return it. Turning back he soon felt a hand on his back, then another.

"Why so melancholy?" Essa asked. "Is Bianca scratched?"

She sat down next to him to try to read his face. He tried a smile, but it just wouldn't stick. Yoshimo was still seated on the other side of Varric, faced away and leaning on the bar. "We lament the loss of the beautiful Mithiriel. May she rest in peace."

Essa laid her hand on Varric's arm then lightly gripped the fabric of his coat. She lowered her head thinking about poor Mithiriel on that cold floor. "She's in Arvandor now, with her kin. Had her master succeeded in his plan he might have used her body and her spirit would roam, tormented for eternity. I think she knew that...that's why she let go. She saved us all."

They were silent for a while, then Varric clasped Essa's hand still on his arm. "Just don't you die on me, ok?"

"Only if you promise the same." After a comfortable lull, she said " Nalia says this dress is so not my color."

Varric scoffed. "What does she know?"

"She also says she can kick your butt at cards."

"Is that so? Well I think I have a game she should learn that will be the true test."

He'd noticed she was wearing that silver scroll pendant again. She explained Jaheira found it on the floor of the Mithrest room when she'd been taken and that's what had tipped her off that something bad had happened. Essa insisted they all get some rest as tomorrow they would gather at the city gates and head to Trademeet. Her little 'vacation' had set them back from their goal and she was determined to make it up. Jaheira had also scavenged some of the drawings from the fire. Essa was understandably upset, but reasoned that maybe it was for the best. There were a lot of memories in that journal.


	8. Frenemies At The Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music (We need a montage!): Easily - Red Hot Chili Peppers 
> 
> And now the moment you've all been waiting for...another chapter in this dismal trainwreck of a story! But you all love trainwrecks, don't you? I bet you watch Jersey Shore, don't you!? DON'T YOU?!?!??!
> 
> I wish someone would tell me if I'm getting Varric right, if Essa is likeable, etc. READ AND REVIEW!
> 
> Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a shirtless Varric on top?
> 
> (I just felt a disturbance in the Force. A bunch of fangirls collectively went "Squee!")

"Ok, who's the sweetheart who needs a waist-high hug?" Essa said as she bounded down the stairs "Wow, that sounded dirty. Um..."  
She stared awkwardly at Jaheira and Nalia tapping her fingers on the banister then pulled out a leatherbound journal. "Look at what I found on my desk!" She hugged the journal to her chest, smelling the leather and the fresh paper.  
"That was a thoughtful gift." Jaheira said looking up briefly from her potion case, taking inventory. "But are you ready to leave? "  
"I am. So the boys all took off didn't they? They know to meet us at the gate, right?" Essa left and returned with her pack, placing the new journal safely inside. She carefully descended the stairs. She dropped the pack onto the table where Nalia was going over her spellbook.  
"Trademeet is a little longer than two days away on foot. We will pass my old home..." Nalia said quietly.  
"No, but seriously, " Essa started "who left me this journal? Was it you, Jaheira?"  
Jaheira shook her head and strapped on her pack and Nalia followed suit. There was an impish gleam in her eye. "Maybe you have a secret admirer."  
"Right. And they'd leave a note gushing about my golden tan skin, my eyes like unto a moonless night and my hair the color of wine." Essa pushed open the door and the three women headed out into the daylight.  
Nalia furrowed her brow. "That Korgan turned out to be quite the poet."  
"Yes but handcuffing himself to my bed was a bit much."  
)(

Varric leaned against the outside wall of the Crooked Crane Inn of the gate district. He had no one to keep him company save Yoshimo, and he was busy chatting up some servant girl running errands for a noble house. He was not eager to sleep in the wilds. Surface dwarf or not, he was still a city dweller and all this nature was too bright, too buggy and too real. Jaheira was being less -well, slightly less- bitchy with the knowledge that they would soon be out of the city. Nalia lapped up every drop of romantic notion concerning adventuring and didn't seem to grasp the concept of bugs, danger, sunburn, crappy food and sore feet. Sir Keldorn arrived late, probably had to endure a "sure, leave. AGAIN." speech from the missus.  
The three females arrived shortly thereafter and the party stepped onto the long road to Trademeet. Their trip was relatively uneventful. Few bandits, even less wild beasts out on the paths lately. This was refreshing to Essa and Jaheira, for around this time last year the Sword Coast trade routes had been plagued with bandits. They took turns telling the others about the iron crisis, interrupting and correcting one another. Varric hadn't felt kinship with a group of people like this since Hawke and the others went their separate ways. He soon took part in their reminiscing, laughing, sharing the finer points on trap disarming with Nalia, discussing theology and morals with Sir Keldorn, and he even gave Yoshimo another chance. He even taught them all the card game Wicked Grace (except Sir Keldorn, gambling was a sin)Essa at first declined to play, but then suggested the betting be made with cookies, and then she was all in.Varric still was unsure of the thief but his own good nature somehow twisted his arm into trying to befriend him again. Jaheira he rarely spoke to apart from inane questions or tactics, but she now regarded him as an ally rather than with suspicion. Varric made the bad move of stepping in when Jaheira berated Nalia for her charity, that old 'take-from-the-rich-and-give-to-the-poor' kind of thing. While more into 'investments' than charity, Varric defended Nalia and found himself on the receiving end of the half-elf's legendary acid tongue.  
Essa had been sitting nearby busy with whatever god-children do in their spare time shaking her head and muttering comments under her breath then finally ended the arguement by lecturing all three of them. Nalia had the right idea but her sense of self-indulgent noblesse oblige made her no better than the pampered bluebloods she ran away from; Jaheira was too bossy and made Nalia's charitable nature into such an issue when all she really cared about was balance and nature, what business was it of hers anyway, and Varric...well, all she said of him was he had a big mouth. She ended with the conclusion that these were all very obvious, everyone had their glaring flaws, no one was perfect, et cetera now everyone cram it and go to sleep. Varric half expected Jaheira to leave, but the druid only gave a throaty chuckle and congratulated Essa on standing up to her.  
Young and inexperienced, vulnerable and sensitive, immature...whatever you wanted to call her, they all knew it was Essa that was the glue that held this group together. He couldn't quite explain Essa's appeal. Maybe it was the cute, pitiful way she begs people to help save her sister; maybe it was the terrifying thought of getting that mace to the face. And she was insatiably curious about him. Every waking moment Essa probed Varric about his home; the girl was an information sponge. She'd back off if she caught on that she was making him homesick, and made sure everyone was on equal footing in the party. Her disarmingly diplomatic approach caused her to seek advice from all five of her companions before proceeding. No strictly mercenary party leader was she. Essa treated them all as allies, advisors, and friends. One day Essa made a comment that made Varric's throat almost close. She'd miss him when he left. She even drew a picture of him in her journal, and he caught snatches of her meandering thoughts put to paper of wishing she could see the architecture of Orzammar, that the only dwarven ruin she knew of in Faerun was the now-flooded Cloakwood Mine once owned by the clan Orothiar, though not really a statement of dwarven society as a whole. Hers were a divided people, whereas Varric's were being driven to the brink of extinction, both their knowledge of which was largely secondhand.  
Perhaps that was it -a common thread- that drew them together. A loose connection to their people. Varric remembered in that last trip in the Deep Roads when he looked upon the crumbling thaig, a long lost dwarven settlement, the great statues of paragons, and he was filled with pride. Though the caste system wasn't exacty alluring, he could take pride in the fact that even though only two dwarven settlements stood, the rest were not given lightly. The blood of the brave fallen stained the ground of the lost thaigs taken by the darkspawn. Yet for all their pride the dwarves could barely stand together and many left the traditional order rather than be divided by class and looked down upon. He'd concluded all he really felt was disappointment that he couldn't have the paragon statue hauled out and sold for a small fortune. And a little itchy from the dust.  
Though in his brother Bartrand that stubborn, foolish pride rubbed off even after their father was caught fixing Provings, honor matches between clans, and caused their family to be exiled. Essa agreed with Varric that the sentence was harsh, but noted that tradition and order were only really valued by those who did not have it.  
Varric eventually stopped laughing inwardly at her naive assumptions. Essa was more than willing to see both sides of a coin. After all, she was always up for a debate. Must be the whole 'raised in a library' thing. In the end he couldn't decide whether or not to feel sorry for her. She seemed to enjoy life enough. Traveling, helping others, meeting interesting people, finding rare treasure, the life of an adventurer was enriching however dangerous. This was all a lot to ponder and the next week flew by. Between rogue druids and some evil cat creatures Varric lost track of time. The local druid coven had been taken over by Shadow Druids sending animals to attack the town, then the Djinni-genie-whatever monopolizing the market until their bounty target was found. Varric tagged along while Essa and Nalia ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the Trademeet market stalls and Yoshimo drew a mustache on the giant mosaic of the goddess Waukeen embedded in the plaza floor. They all discovered Sir Keldorn was actually a talented pianist. Once the world slowed down a bit he found himself at some inn seated at the bar staring into his ale as usual. He almost wished he'd look up and be at the Hanged Man but remained disappointed. Essa slid into a seat beside him, a goblet of wine in her hand. She turned in her seat so her back was to him. Great, more Awkward Conversation Time With The Socially Inept Party Leader. Fun.  
"We're not so different, are we?" Swirling the contents of her goblet she stared into the ruby-colored liquid as though she were scrying for answers then took a sip.  
"Not really. Did I tell you I'm the son of Byronius, god of chest hair?"Varric took a drink of his ale while Essa choked on the wine with laughter. She tuned twards the bar and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.  
"No seriously..."She started again. "Do you feel like you're just...looking for something?"  
Varric waved the bartender over. "Perhaps another ale. What's your point?"  
Essa drained her goblet and the bartender poured her a fresh portion of wine. " A 'live for the moment' kind of guy. I wish I could be that way."  
"You are, sort of. Except for the 'guy' part."  
"Well Oghma teaches us to seek knowledge. I've found it, and gold and trouble along the way. I've gained a measure of wealth and power....and dearly have I bought it."  
"Everything has a price."  
"Yes."  
Varric drummed his fingers on the table and smiled briefly at Essa. "I found a way home. Going to cost a pretty copper though."  
"Really?" Essa said, then noted how sad her tone was repeated herself more cheerfully "Really? That's great!"  
"Of course my....service still stands. I won't leave until Imoen is back with you. I pay my debts."  
"Well a sixth of the party treasure is yours so you may use it as you see fit. To fund your return of course. I'll chip in, too." She sighed wistfully. "Must be nice to have a place to call home."  
"It's a nice suite at an inn." Varric corrected. "I have responsibilities, the Merchant League will fall apart without me, I have to go." But mostly he couldn't admit he hated this place. It would take him months, if not years, to build the same kind of reputation he had in Kirkwall. No, Faerun was not a nice place. "Nice people, nice booze, but I'd rather not stay."  
Essa finished her wine and rose. "Well I'm off to say prayers then get to bed. Don't stay up too late. Tomorrow we're headed back to Athkatla...and hopefully to Spellhold."


	9. Down With The (Sea)Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:  
> Nancy The Tavern Wench - Alestorm  
> 

The first time the party of Essa entered the Shadow Thieves den they had done so with caution. This time Essa stomped down the pointlessly long hallway to the Shadowmaster's chamber so quickly that even the tallfolk had trouble keeping pace with her. Varric finally caught up to the hotheaded cleric and said "Essa, perhaps it's just me but I really feel you should retard your roaring rampage of revenge before we all get killed."  
"My anger IS retarded!" Essa replied through gritted teeth.

Varric suddenly recalled the myth of fiery redheads, but this woman was half god of murder with a god of knowledge on her side. He'd witnessed her killing weaker vampires with a touch If anyone was in danger it was Varric himself for opening his mouth and the Shadowmaster, Aran Linvail, for lying. Well, he didn't exactly lie. It was more of a lie of omission. The team had spent the last couple of hours in an ancient tomb far beneath Athkatla hunting vampires. Vampires, Varric discovered, were vile beings who were once humans (and some elves) that had been cursed to hide from the sun and drink blood for sustenance. The leader of these delightful creatures was a vampire woman named Bodhi and she had some rather interesting things to say. Bodhi pointed out that Essa's mysterious benefactor were Shadow Thieves (as if they didn't know) and they were using Essa to further their own ends. That was also obvious. Bodhi and her coven had been taking thieves from the guild and had become a thorn in Linvail's side, so why not hire some random adventuring party to cure this little headache? But what angered Essa was the fact that the Shadow Thieves had been all take and no give thus far. Fifteen thousand gold paid at a 'we're-growing-impatient' discount and all they got were a few magical trinkets; no passage to the island, no magical 'poof' to Spellhold, not even a couple of really expensive hookers. On top of that they were the 'men in black' who attacked Irenicus' dungeon which in turn caused Imoen to be sent to Spellhold. The real kicker was not only did Bodhi know Essa was a child of Bhaal...Irenicus was the one who told her.

Bodhi escaped them, however. Jaheira guessed she would go crawling to her master, Irenicus. It was a shame they couldn't follow, or at least squeeze her for more information. Why she was capturing the thieves, for one thing. Thankfully Essa cooled down a bit before she reached the end of the hallway.  
"You haven't been completely honest with me." She said to Aran. "Your men were the ones who attacked Irenicus!"  
Aran Linvail, Shadowmaster of Amn was a man of wealth and taste. A man Varric could identify with. He had pressed fine food and vintage wine upon them at their first meeting, obviously puckering up for some serious ass kissing. He flirted shamelessly with the women, but could only get a blush out of Nalia. Good old Jaheira was stoic as always and Essa...well...Essa was clueless. For someone who hid romance novels in their history books Essa was oblivious to flirtation. Varric blatantly flirted with Essa once or twice but she didn't seem to notice. Maybe she was just ignoring him. So a few times when she tended his wounds he pretended to *really* enjoy her touch just to gauge her reaction. Still nothing. Maybe it just hurt his pride that a female of his own species wasn't swooning every time he smiled at her. Essa did give him a weird look when he hit on Nalia last week, though. It was a joke, really. But Nalia told him she wasn't into dwarves. That was probably what that look was for. Well if there was to be no maudlin romance in this blighted pit he could always make something up.  
There in that thiefy den of thiefness, Essa quickly outline everything Bodhi had told her. Aran watched and listened, took everything in but reminded her that vampires are deceitful by nature. Varric leaned against the door frame and watched the exchange. He turned to say something to Yoshimo but noticed the thief looking impatient, and even a little sick.  
"We had to be sure of you," Aran was saying. "Sure that you weren't an ally of the mage."  
Essa swatted Aran's excuses aside. "I've paid you, I've cleaned up your vampire mess. You have no interest in helping me, you just wanted a way to Bodhi. "  
"And now you try to placate us with trinkets?" Jaheira added. "Why toy with us if it was in the best interest to serve, as Gaelan Bayle told us?"  
"I tire of serving thieves," Sir Keldorn muttered. "I care not if the end justifies the means."  
"How long is Imoen supposed to wait in that awful place? I'm sure she's given up all hope to be rescued by now." Nalia piped up.  
Yoshimo gulped audibly as the four started talking at once. Varric covered his eyes with his hand and waited for the fireballing to commence. When it didn't, he looked to see Aran's gesture for silence. Nalia had her hands on Essa's shoulders as though holding her back from striking the Shadowmaster; Jaheira wore a snarl that almost made her look unattractive and Sir Keldorn rubbed his temples and muttered something about 'all this thief nonsense' and how he couldn't wait to retire.  
"Please, let me explain." Aran began " Yes, I needed you to find Bodhi, but it was just as much for you as it was for us. She blocked your path to Imoen as much as the sea. On top of that she has been seducing my men to her organization and chipping away at our number, that much I have told you. Our relationship has been symbiotic, even if you could not see."  
He paused to read their expressions, then continued. "Anyone else who would have stormed in here speaking to me in that manner would have become target practice for the recruits, but you have more than proved your worth. I apologize for your loss of Imoen on our behalf and I planned to provide more than a pitiful apology from the start. Down by the docks you will find a man named Saemon Havarian who is willing to charter a ship to Brynnlaw. Prepare yourselves to set sail, but do not wait too long. "  
Essa's eyes lit up, but all she did was sigh. Varric wasn't sure if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of 'oh gods, I will be so sick.' He chuckled as they bade Aran farewell and filed out of the room....then he remembered this will be his first time on a ship as well.  
Andraste on a cracker....

)(

Once again they had to wait for Sir Keldorn to say goodbye to the missus. He had not allowed them to come see him off, probably because he didn't want his daughters around pirates and thieves and rotted fish heads.  
Varric took one look at the captain Saemon Havarian and decided he disliked him. Foppish idiot did not quite cover it. He decided to take it upon himself to make sure the crew kept a respectful distance from Essa and Nalia at all times. Jaheira could handle herself. He'd known a pirate once...a lady pirate and she...well...Isabela got around. He ran into her at Anders' clinic a lot. As lovely as she was and as much as he flirted with her Varric probably wouldn't have touched her (given the chance) with a twenty foot rusty halberd. Probably. Thoughts of Isabela led to thoughts of Kirkwall which led to thoughts of Marian. Wonder what she's doing right this moment...a knee to his back stirred him out of his musings. He spun around, insult ready.  
"Oh, beg your pardon sir." the culprit smiled sheepishly from under her hood.  
If only more beautiful women blundered into him. "Quite alright. And you are?"  
"Sime. The Shadowmaster sent me to...watch Saemon. Never will be another time I'm so distracted as when I'm doin' me duties." She smiled genuinely. "This your first time at sea?"  
"How did you know?"  
"You have that look about ye. That 'I know I'll lose me lunch' look. Don't worry. You'll get yer sea legs soon enough. Welcome aboard the Galante."  
)(

Up and down, up and down. Up and down. Up. And down. The Galante bobbed like a cork upon the shining water. The weather had been fair and the salty breeze was not all unpleasant. All around them nothing but the Sea of Swords and above them the dome of sky, which at night became a diamond-studded tapestry. Varric felt a little less embarrassed as Essa soon joined him as his seasickness buddy. Today they were staying closer to the center of the ship as advised by Sime, who brought them some strange ginger concoction prescribed by Jaheira before she disappeared again. This was going to be the longest three days of Varric's life. He tried to think of something else besides what the side of the ship looked like as he watched Essa, Nalia and Jaheira in some sort of massage conga, with Nalia rubbing Essa's shoulders and Jaheira rubbing Nalia's.  
"Feel any better?" Jaheira asked.  
"Yes." Essa replied. "I just can't stop thinking about what state we'll find Imoen in." She stared into her cup.  
I want a shoulder rub...Varric whined in his head. He wanted to be able to say something comforting to Essa but either by his own doubt or illness couldn't find the words. Instead he thought of his nice suite back in Kirkwall as the ship creaked and groaned.  
"Varric?" Essa said suddenly. "Varric?"  
He looked up. "Hm?"  
"I said, you look like you're missing out. " She gestured in front of her and holding up both hands made a rubbing motion. Finally. Varric plopped down in front of Essa and practically melted as she worked out the knots in his neck and shoulders. Bianca, hush. It won't have a happy ending. Although...I was kidding! Maker... Essa's fingers were calloused from years of swinging a hitting stick or mace and did not tire quickly. Varric closed his eyes and groaned, causing Essa and Nalia to chuckle. This was the real deal, not some cheap floozy eager to get to the good part as he joked before.  
"Keldorn's worried we'll miss his anniversary." Essa said suddenly.  
"He should worry about the issue at hand. Will we make it back, will Saemon be willing to take us back to mainland. " Jaheira stated matter-of-factually.  
"I think Lady Maria's wrath if he misses it will be more dangerous than Irenicus." Nalia said. "Are you going to stay for their party, Varric?"  
"(Oh yes, that's the spot. Maker, you should become a masseuse. I'd pay...-) Go to the Firecam's twentieth anniversary bash? I dunno." Varric shrugged. "If it's a high-class stand around and gossip thing, count me out."  
"No, Lady Maria told me about it. There will be musicians, dancing...-"  
"Adult beverages?"  
"Um, I don't think so."  
"Blast."  
"Paladin." Essa said pointedly. "Though there might be wine. And people do like to smuggle booze into parties."  
Varric thought a moment. "Well..."  
Both women were reduced to begging. 'Aw come on, Varric' they said.' It will be so much fun, it won't be much of a party without you, you're one of us now you just have to come.' Stop making this so difficult...  
"Fine, I'll go. I can't fight you both."  
"I knew you'd come." Nalia smiled. "What about you, Jaheira?"  
Jaheira stopped massaging. "Perhaps. I care little for such things. I am going to see what Yoshimo is up to. Someone must make sure he does not gamble all his money away." She slipped away and returned above deck. Now that their hands ached, the remaining trio sat around and chatted, trying to guess what was in Jaheira's tonic. Nalia of course brought the topic back to the Firecam's party.  
"It's a ball, really. Though outdoors in the courtyard. There will be lanterns hung everywhere. It will be romantic." Nalia said dreamily. "Twenty years married and Sir Keldorn is still so in love with Lady Maria. It's so sweet."  
"...except for the part where she cheated on him..." Varric muttered earning himself a pinch from Essa.  
Essa leaned back with her hands on her knees. "Why do you care so much about this party, Nalia? I thought you hated this kind of high society thing,"  
Nalia shrugged. "Well before it was parties with people I didn't know. At least you, Varric, Yoshimo and Imoen will be there. "  
"You won't be there gloating about how rich you are." Varric clarified." Whining about how your new diamond studded turban is giving you a headache and how many stripes you gave the servants for not polishing the floor so you could see yourself in it. You'll be...wait for it...having FUN."  
Nalia chuckled and smiled sadly. "But you know, I feel like this group is the first real friends I've had. I'll be a little sad when you go, Varric. "  
Varric put a hand to his chest, as though feigning injury. "Only a little? Nalia, you wound me. "  
"Ok, I will miss you a lot."  
"And?"  
" There will be a Varric-shaped hole in my being, and I will pine away for you until we meet again in some distant land?"  
"See? Was that so hard?"  
They both turned to see Essa's reaction only to see that she was curled up fast asleep on one of the cots. In her hand was the silver scroll pendant, the symbol of her patron god.  
"Poor Essa" Nalia said quietly. "This whole thing has been so hard on her. "  
"Really makes you think, doesn't it." Varric stretched and propped his feet on the chair Essa had been sitting on. "Rather than thinking 'woe is me, I'm stuck on another planet' or 'alas I am rich and bored' you could be hunted for your heritage, spend your inevitably short life fighting the urge to slaughter innocent people and have a kidnapped sister."  
Nalia opened her mouth to protest but no words came out. She saw Varric wink at her and smile. She cleared her throat and glanced at Essa. "I think this is the first time I've seen her sleep without being drenched in sweat or mumbling."  
"Is she really asleep or just eavesdropping?" Varric smirked. They both had to stifle a laugh when they noticed their fearless leader sticking her thumb in her mouth.  
"Yep. She's out."


	10. Soul To Squeeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:  
> Your Star - Evanescence  
> Tearjerker - Korn

For her part, Essa was a remarkable actress and through hamming up her status as the daughter of a dead god managed to get the entire party sentenced to Spellhold. Varric even joined in on the charade begging the Pirate King Desharik to confine his poor insane companion, if only to keep from laughing. Even Nalia's interjection where she pointed out he was insane for talking to his crossbow did not break the ruse. Once on the island they had conducted a thorough shakedown of all the possible information to be had of the asylum. To the surprise of no one Saemon Havarian turned traitor and almost handed the party over to Bodhi's vampires. It was just as Jaheira predicted; Bodhi was here, and Irenicus was close. Varric began to smell a rat when his good buddy Yoshimo suddenly became quiet and withdrawn. Through some magical means the group was teleported into cells in what was quickly confirmed to be Spellhold. Here they were, at long last. Varric pondered how long had it been since that fateful day he pledged service to Essa. A month? Two months? He'd lost count. A dwarf named Lonk the Sane (haha, I get it) was their warden and rightfully so. The people who belonged here were completely cuckoo banana crackers. There was a little girl who could shapeshift, a woman who saw the demons from the other planes at all times, a gnome bent on world domination, it was a world class loony bin. But the fecal matter now hit the whirling blades.  
Yoshimo betrayed them.  
They found Imoen in a cell alone, grappling with some dark madness. The other inmates feared her as she was known to become violent. Essa balled her hands into fists so tight if she had coals in them the would have become diamonds. Varric's heart leapt into his throat as he saw the mage behind her.  
"Irenicus, I presume." Varric said thickly as he slowly reached for Bianca. The coordinators had allowed them to keep their 'toys'; even an army couldn't escape the magic wards of Spellhold.  
Essa on the other hand did not turn around. "How long did it take you to gnaw through the leather straps?"  
Irenicus' eyes were that cold, unfeeling blue described often in stories where the villain rejoices in his victory and shows no mercy. He stared down at Essa as she turned to face him, her black eyes blazing. He was unarmed, did not appear to have any magic about him that would serve as protection. He just stood there, arms at his sides.  
"Hiding your fury with a jest. How typical. But I am not an inmate, no...I am the new coordinator and you have arrived just in time."  
Essa sneered openly now. Varric glanced at the others. Sir Keldorn put plenty of space between Irenicus and Imoen. Jaheira was scowling as always but this time it was justified. Nalia swallowed hard and drew her sword. They had been told of Irenicus. He was a complete monster in every sense of the word. There was no rhyme or reason to what he'd done and he was not the kind to deliver an exposition on his motive either. Yoshimo on the other hand made no effort to prepare himself for what would obviously be a dangerous battle.  
"What have you done to Imoen!?" Essa demanded, her voice cracking across the room like a whip.  
Irenicus barely blinked at the outburst."I am quite through with Imoen. Now I must focus on you. It is fortunate for me you arrived when you did. Yoshimo, is everything in readiness?"  
They all turned towards the thief who lowered his head in shame. "Everything is as you require...master."  
Essa shook her head. "No. No, this isn't happening. You have no one amongst my number. They are all loyal..."  
"I'm sorry Essa." Yoshimo stammered. "There are circumstances you are not aware of."  
"When did this walking freak show buy you?" Varric spat. "Do all your friends have price tags?"  
"Yoshimo, how could you?" Nalia said.  
Jaheira pushed Nalia aside, glowering."This shall not be the last time you hear the word, but allow me to be the first to spit it at you; TRAITOR!"  
Sir Keldorn shook his head sadly. "To betray your men...this is unforgivable."  
"I did not know what a fiend he was, truly!" Yoshimo tried but Essa cut him off.  
"We will discuss this later." Her voice was low, dangerous. She turned her attention back to Irenicus. "I will leave this place with Imoen and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me."  
Irenicus still made no move."On the contrary...thanks to Yoshimo's clever thinking you will not have a chance to escape me again. There will be no heroics, only sleep."  
No sooner had the last word left his mouth the last thing Varric saw was Yoshimo's guilty expression.  
Now they were split into cells, Varric with Keldorn and Jaheira and Nalia in the next. Yoshimo, the clever bastard, had slipped a spell component into their food aboard the ship allowing Irenicus to knock them all out cold with a single word. Ohh, to get his hands around that bastard's neck...and Yoshimo tried to make Varric look like a traitor! Still, he couldn't get that look on his face off his mind. Yoshimo looked horrified. And not scared for his own skin. Varric paced like a caged lion as much as the small cell would allow, even for someone of his stature. Keldorn sat on one of the cots, helm beside him, eyes closed in what was probably silent prayer. Twice now Varric had heard Jaheira telling Nalia to 'quit that blasted blubbering'. He gripped the bars and twisted them, as though he could pull them apart.  
"Damn it! How do we get out of here?"  
"Only through the use of the key or some magical means, I expect." Sir Keldorn sighed for the hundredth time.  
"What did he mean he was 'done with' Imoen, you think?"  
"I do not know, Varric."  
"Why didn't we just attack? Why did we stand there and let him blather and then trap us like this?"  
"I pondered the same thing. But we are alive and there is still a slim chance we may escape."  
"Maybe. I hope...hey!"  
Suddenly Keldorn shimmered out of sight through some magical means. Shortly Varric found himself disappear too, and when his vision returned the others were standing looking dazed in a vast stone chamber. High above them on an observation platform a woman with black hair and ashen skin sat swinging one leg idly. Bodhi. That bloodsucking bitch. Varric could feel the collective leaping of hearts as they saw both Essa and Imoen were present, looking unharmed for the time being.  
"Why don't you just destroy us like a good little girl, Bodhi? Or are you afraid we'll soundly thrash you again?" Essa cracked her knuckles. Varric wouldn't lie, he'd leap at the chance to put down the vampire permanently.  
"Such arrogance!" Bodhi said in that sugary sweet yet evil tone of hers. "And perhaps deserved. You are a powerful being, even as helpless as you are. Irenicus can be so dour when he wishes, but fortunately for you my interest in your abilities has made me decide to give you a chance...to escape. You see the maze stretched out before you?" She paused, watching the mortals below glance about then continued. "Originally it was built to test the magical abilities of the people incapacitated here. But now it is mine. So...run my gauntlet and see if you can make a difference for your fate. Do not dawdle however...I do enjoy hunting the Shadow Thieves in these grounds. The hunt begins."  
In a flash, Bodhi morphed into a bat and was gone, again.  
"Are you alright? You came all this way to get me and we were almost..." Imoen started. Essa said nothing but threw her arms around her sister.  
"I was too late...." Essa stammered. Imoen returned the embrace and both women sank to the floor.  
"What happened? What did Irenicus do to you?! To me?!" Essa cried, although it was obvious she knew.  
"He showed me what I am...I'm a Bhaalspawn. He showed me and then he took it away. He said it was my divine soul? Oh Essa...I was so scared..."  
Varric cleared his throat. "I'd hate to break up this poignant moment..." He said in a voice that indicated he truly did "but we have got to get out of here."  
To their surprise Jaheira pulled Imoen into a hug, however brief, and painful-looking, and the druid couldn't even form a good tongue-lashing so much was her relief even if it spawned from anger. They made quick introductions to ther latest party additions, wishing in vain it could be under different circumstances, then outfitted Imoen with a bag of gear Essa had so thoughtfully been lugging around for weeks. Very optimistic of her.  
They navigated the Spellhold maze quickly and quietly. Varric pressed Essa with questions; what was done to her, where was Yoshimo, did she really think Bodhi would let them go. She didn't get emotional,didn't get teary or even angry. Essa simply told Varric that her divine soul had been ripped out of her body for some sinister purpose and that she would die unless she had it back, as would Imoen. Irenicus and Bodhi were both 'cursed' and now with the essence of Bhaal their fates had been swapped. Now they faced these trials, unknowing of what horrors lay within, how large, how long it would even take to escape. Hours? Days? With only trail rations and what little water they carried this was going to be even more unpleasant than the great outdoors. At least outside they had a chance at killing a deer or rabbit. Well it was less of a maze and more like a series of rooms filled with traps and/or puzzles. Varric had never seen the team behave like this. They were all composed and brief with one another. No more games, no more jokes. They were racing time itself. If someone strayed behind, others would encourage the straggler. They were operating on pure instinct now. Varric's own trap-finding skills were put to the test. Imoen had been through enough to have to worry about them. She did solve a series of riddles rather masterfully helping them obtain a gem that fucntioned as a key. Finally they came upon a large promising room with a statue of a hornless minotaur in the middle.  
"Here mousey mousey... the hunt ends here and now!" came Bodhi's voice. She rose from her usual crouched fighting stance to a casual pose, her hands on her thighs.  
"I knew you wouldn't let us escape..." Varric growled in a voice nobody heard.  
"I'm sorry, but I just couldn't bear to see you leave!" She lunged at Essa, fangs gleaming in the torchlight as more of her vampires rushed the others.  
Essa let out a cry of rage which became a howl of...something...bestial...before her friends, Bodhi's and her coven's very eyes Essa's mortal dwarven body blackened and twisted into some towering shape, her fingers elongating into claws and her face morphing into a hideous visage, maw lined with massive fangs. Some giant, gaunt black...thing...Varric could not describe it. It was like no monster or demon he had ever seen before. This was something out of a nightmare. The beast roared again and diced one of the vampires as quick as thinking as the party cried out or cursed, scattering, their composure and tactics all forgotten. It raised its bloody claw triumphantly as the rest of the vampire's innards spilled into the white tiled floor. It caught up another of the bloodsuckers and crushed it against the wall, leaving a crimson smear. Bodhi watched with both fascination and horror, but managed to evade them yet again to go inform Irenicus of this interesting development. With the vampires gone the beast rounded on the party, who all ended up dodging the claws in turn. Keldorn was knocked down and Varric rolled out of the way, trying to get back up in time to put a bolt in the monster's neck when the beast raised its claw for what was meant to be a decaptating strike until Nalia landed a glancing blow on its neck with an arrow fired with trembling hands. It turned and rushed her with its dagger like teeth and was almost upon her when...  
It was suddenly a young dwarf woman again. Nalia froze. Essa froze too, hand almost touching Nalia's throat, arms coated in blood up to the elbow and more of the substance on her face. You could hear a pin drop. Essa panted as she slowly looked at her hands and the expression of abject terror on her companion's face.  
"What...what happened?"  
"The Slayer..." Imoen said in awe, her voice sounding far away. She stepped down from the minotaur statue's platform. "You turned into the Slayer."  
"That wasn't me! It was like I left my body and was forced to watch. Did I hurt anyone?" Essa reached to Sir Keldorn as Varric helped the paladin stand. Varric saw Essa's expression turn from fear to hurt, and he saw why. Keldorn was giving her a look of utter disgust. The paladin staggered over to the eviscerated vampire fledglings and drove a stake through their hearts. Even in pieces they could still regenerate, though it would take time.  
Everyone was quiet. Essa slipped off to wash off the blood in some old stagnant pool that decorated the room. The others started to leave but Essa just sat on the floor cross legged, hands in her lap staring at the floor. Varric passed her saying, "Come on, let's get out of here."  
She didn't budge or even act like she heard him. Giving an exasperated sigh he shook her shoulder gently. "Wake up, we're leaving." Still nothing. He batted one of her braids like a cat. "Essa, snap out of it. Are you going to sit there all in some sort of coma brooding over being a monster?"  
Her eyes shifted towards him but she remained still as a statue. "I am not brooding. I have no more tears, never saved any for myself. What would that accomplish?"  
"Nothing, this is true. But if you got off your ass, you can come kick Irenicus'." He offered her a hand up. Essa looked at his hand, then his face.  
"Scared of me?" She asked. "Afraid I'll turn on you?"  
"If you come to tear out my heart I'll just shove Yoshimo into your path."  
She gripped his hand and he pulled her to her feet. "I truly had no control over the Slayer. I just got so angry then it was as if I was pushed aside. "  
"Something to do with your lack of a soul I take it."  
"Without doubt. "  
They left the bloody scene and rejoined the others. They could faintly hear the hum of Irenicus' machines, the fiendish devices used to force Imoen's and Essa's godly essences from their bodies. Quietly they made their way to the next floor,the machines hum becoming louder. Then the familiar sound of someone magically teleporting into the hall nearly made them all jump out of their skin. It was Saemon Havarian.  
"Ah, my friends! It warms my heart to see you all remain in good health." The rogue said cheerfully.  
"Traitors everywhere I turn! Stand aside! " Essa roared and left a good crack in the wall with her mace as emphasis.  
Havarian spread his hands. "Your anger is justified, however, misdirected. The blade offered to me for my service was woefully inadequate. I find it would be more beneficial to aid you."  
"Aid me? " Essa laughed one single hollow note. "Speak quickly and make your words count. Your life is in the balance."  
"I've seen no weakness in Irenicus. To defeat him would take an army. And there is one to be had. Upstairs. The mages confined here would direct their anger towards him." Havarian slipped away as Essa pondered his advice.  
"Much as I am loathe to believe him, he could be right." Jaheira said.  
)(  
Varric tried to fight off the vertigo as once again they were magically teleported, this time by the mad gnome Tiax.  
"Irenicus!" Essa spat the name at the top of her voice, mace and shield at the ready, magically protected, buffed and ready to spill some mage blood. "I will have my soul, and your head!"  
The mage turned around and stared at the dwarf godchild, her five companions and the mages under his 'care'. "You yet live! And you've freed all my test subjects! How wonderfully mad of you. "  
"I thought they might like to dish out some retribution." Essa took a fighting stance, then shifted her weight back and forth from one leg to the other repeatedly.  
"As over-eager as ever, but your boasting is wasted. You are no longer a threat. Your fate is sealed. I have the souls from both you and Imoen and they have healed myself and Bodhi. You will die in our place, or worse. Bodhi tells me you have exhibited a...transformation. Perhaps with your will slowly fading it is Bhaal rising to take you over. What a sight that must have been..."  
One of the inmates spoke up, the old coordinator Wanev. "You used this place and perverted it! I will take back what is mine!"  
"You tortured people long before I came here, I merely had more cause to do so." Irenicus countered, then shook his head in disgust. "Bah! I converse with madmen when I should be at my revenge! Die all of you! I have restored myself and will work my revenge without your interference!"  
A great pillar of flame struck Irenicus at Essa's direction, called forth from her god and thus marked the start of the battle. Irenicus struck down the asylum inmates as though they were little more than flies, and his magic kept the party on their toes. Essa did land a heavy blow on the mage's chest and continued to pummel him rather blindly until some invisible force violently knocked her away sending her sliding on the floor on her back almost into one of the liquid-filled tanks lining the room.  
Irenicus finally halted."Damn you all, why do I fight amongst you here when my plans may be laid anywhere!? Here! Fight amongst the assassins and murderers I would sacrifice but know that you are dying on the inside even now! I leave you to this place! I hope it is your tomb!"  
Essa got back up on her feet and charged the mage again but he was gone. "Damn it!"  
"Here you are, Essa. I come to you so that I may have peace in death." Yoshimo entered the room, katana draw, expression bleak. Essa gasped. "Yoshimo...I...you know I can't-"  
"Funny how YOU'RE the real traitor." Varric interrupted, and aimed Bianca at the thief's heart. "Any last words?"  
"Varric...I do wish we could have been friends. I was compelled by a geas...do you know what a geas is? It hurts, and then you die!"  
"I really don't give a rat's ass what a geas is or what compelled you."  
"That night you saw me exchanging coin with the cloaked figure...that was Mithiriel. Her master promised me a geas removal scroll if I turned you over to her master."  
"You're only digging yourself deeper. But it all makes sense now. Then you finger me as the traitor to cover your tracks and get rid of me for being onto you. I do believe I saw this all coming. And you can blather all you want about honor and redemption and such but you can take your honor, and your apology and shove it up your ass."  
Bianca sang as she let loose a bolt that struck true, right in Yoshimo's heart.  
Jaheira made the rounds tending wounds while Nalia scavenged for unbroken arrows and Imoen scavenged for...anything of value. Sir Keldorn sat slumped against the wall looking at over all the mangled bodies of rebel mages and thieves. "I'm getting too old for this."  
Essa on the other hand knelt over Yoshimo's body, arranging him in a funeral posture.  
"What are you doing? This lack of soul cause you to play with dead guys now?" Varric said as he finished off his healing potion and tossed the empty bottle, leaving it to shatter next to Imoen.  
"A geas is a binding spell. It is a curse, a contract of sorts. If you disobey the caster your life is not only forfeit your soul is in torment for all eternity." Essa removed the bolt from Yoshimo's chest and closed his eyes reverently, folding her hands in prayer.  
"Gruesome. But that doesn't quite answer my question."  
"I am going to attempt to remove the geas from his soul, so he may rest in peace."  
Varric just stared at her. "Are you for real? The guy hands you over to your tormentor, tries to frame me for your near murder and you want to save him? I say let him rot, for all eternity." And when he said 'for all eternity' it was in a mocking voice.  
"I was taught forgiveness..." Essa said firmly but Varric turned on his heel and walked away with a dismissive gesture.  
"Do you forgive Sarevok?" Jaheira asked.  
Essa turned around to look at the druid. "No. And I hope you'll forgive me when I tell you to shut your gob, you loudmouthed, self-righteous, tree-hugging bitch."


	11. Doomy Dooms Of Doom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:
> 
> Sacra - Apocalyptica
> 
> One of these days I'm going to read a harlequin romance for kicks and giggles.

Saemon Havarian must have balls of sodding granite, Varric thought to himself when the cowardly pirate sauntered back down the hall of Spellhold to address the party. He babbled on about the blade Irenicus had given him as payment and mentioned he might know where the mage was headed.  
Essa was still grinning even when she said quietly to Varric, "He's lying. "  
"Tell me something I don't know." he scoffed.  
"I can grow a beard."  
"Beg pardon?"

"That was something you didn't know."  
Varric relished the moment when Essa said she'd rather face the uncertainty of the portal than accept' Havarian's help, even when he offered to bring them back to mainland directly to Irenicus' next location, supposedly the elven city of Suldenessallar. He was lucky Varric didn't put a bolt to his neck, though he would have liked to. Sir Keldorn suggested they see if Irenicus left any clue, any indication of where he was headed. What he was up to...obviously no good if he felt the need to kidnap innocent girls, torture them and steal their souls. He'd said something about revenge. Now they sat in the coordinator's offices while Essa sat on the desk reading what appeared to be a a journal, the look of worry in her face increasing. She laid the journal pages down.  
"Well now it seems we have a motive. Irenicus was an elf and someone named Ellesime cursed him and Bodhi. "  
"It is a crime for an elf to kill another elf. The sole exception is if that elf threatens their people's way of life. "Jaheira took another look at the journals.  
"Still, these two committed a major no-no and got cursed. Got their souls removed." Varric added. "That must be terrible for anyone." He glanced at Essa with a twinge of sympathy.  
Essa crossed her legs. "Says here Irenicus still feels close to nature...has only memories of feelings. All he wants is revenge for what was done to him. Had he not royally screwed us I would almost feel sorry for the guy."  
Imoen was busy fiddling with a lock on the desk. With a click she grinned. "Yes!" Rummaging around she held a strange looking key aloft which was promptly snatched by Essa.  
"The key to the portal Havarian was talking about. I know it's creepy in here but I'd like to rest in the safety of Spellhold in case we end up in the Underdark." She slid off the desk.  
Imoen tilted her head. "Why not go rest at the inn?"  
"Do you know how to open the door? Plus I'd rather not face that Havarian character again."  
Imoen had also pilfered some real food and they sat for one last meal. Hopefully it wouldn't be their last....but if they were headed to the Underdark as Havarian predicted it may well be. Shit, maybe it was the plane of cheap prostitutes and booze and the pirate just didn't want them to know. Varric and Imoen fought over the last cookie until Jaheira took it and broke it in half to shut them up, then called them a pair of children before rolling over in her bedroll to try and get some sleep.

"Mmm...that Dradeel was nuts but he sure could bake. I wish I'd gotten his recipe." Imoen said as she finished her half. "Remember the cinnamon rolls we used to make, Essa?"

Essa stared at the ceiling, laying on her bedroll. "Yeah. Father would always catch us in the kitchen after lights out making them. Then we'd eat them while he read us a story...."

Varric wished in vain for a good ale. He was a bit envious as he listened to the girls' conversation. Even though they were of different races they formed a sisterly bond. His own brother was significantly older than him, and they were never particularly close. They were business partners first and foremost. Well, until the incident with the lyrium idol. Now he was a caretaker again. At least the Chantry asylum took good care of Bartrand. To him, sibling meant annoyance, competitor....maybe this was just a chick thing. Maybe blood relations could just irritate you easier and you felt obligated to not put a bolt in their eye because they were kin. Varric himself had always been the black sheep of the family, starting with being born on the surface. He didn't exactly break tradition, he just had his own way of doing things. nothing wrong with that.  
Later on, Nalia could barely keep her eyes open and Essa traded watch shifts with her. Crap, now their whole rhythm had been thrown off. It was Jaheira, Nalia, Varric, Keldorn, Essa, Imoen and so on. They got seven hours of sleep if they were lucky. Varric slowly felt himself ease out of sleep as he hear a slow rhythmic tapping sound. He looked to see it was Essa tapping the stone floor with her hand. She was shivering violently, yet sweat beaded on her forehead.  
"If you're cold I uh, have another blanket but we'll have to share." He sat up. "Hell, you look like me after a night drinking Yoshimo under the table. " No response. "....Essa?" He crawled a little towards her to get a better look. Her lips were moving but no sound came out. "You don't have to whisper, you know we all sleep...like...oh, Maker."  
The Slayer came out to play.  
)(  
This time everyone slept far away from Essa. "I tried to warn you!" She protested, then groaned and covered her head with her blanket. She felt a corner of her blanket being tugged and looked to see Varric. "What do you want?" her voice was raspy, tired.  
"I was just looking to see if you were ok." He said lightly.  
"I have no soul and my friends are scared of me. Everything's just peachy."  
"They're scared of the Slayer. Your changes are random so they're just taking precautions. You're still the same old Essa. Just...with big pointy teeth."  
She folded down her blanket revealing her whole face. "I just can't believe it. I'm dying. Slowly but surely. Funny how without my divine soul Bhaal still owns me. I was...happy...for half a second."  
Varric sat down cross-legged beside her. "You thought you'd be normal. Tsk tsk."  
"I'm sorry. I won't angst anymore." She said with the faintest hint of amusement.  
"Sharing your troubles with a friend isn't angst. "  
Essa chewed on that a moment "We're friends... Yeah I guess we are."  
"I like to think so."  
She hesitated. "Don't take this the wrong way but...do you think you could...sleep a little closer? You know, in case I change again?"  
"It's like a slumber party in oblivion. Alright." Varric chuckled darkly then dragged his bedroll closer. "Like I'll be able to sleep. Wish I had something to read."  
"I have some books." Essa nudged her pack in his direction and opened it, letting five or so books spill out. Varric pushed the tomes around glancing at the titles.  
"Hm hm hm...History of the Dead Three, something about dwarven religion..." Varric tossed the books as he rejected them. "Poetry, nope; history, nope; more history!" He made a beckoning gestured towards her. "Come on Essa, where's the good stuff? Give me the good stuff!"  
Essa's lips parted and she stared at him blankly. Her tongue darted out licking her bottom lip and for a second she looked like a lizard in torpor. Varric smiled sweetly but he said. "For someone so smart you sure can be dumb. I know you read throbbing manhood bodice ripper smut when you think no one is looking. AND you play with your animal crackers before you eat them."  
Her face turned red. "W-well YOU-"  
"...have a mighty thatch of chest hair that makes you swoon?"  
She pushed him and he fell onto his side. Varric laughed quietly. "I meant no offense. It's good that you read fiction every once in a while. It stirs the imagination. Sometimes you just have to go somewhere else in your head...forget your troubles. It's like ale without the hangover."  
Essa picked up her book and put them back in her pack, fishing out a worn out novel with a bookmark and held it out for Varric to take. "You can read this, just don't lose my place."  
Eagerly grabbing the book, Varric turned it over and read the cover. " 'Forbidden Stone'...a dwarven romance...and she's with a human? Tasty."  
She played with one of her braids. "Yes...I've read it many times. it's the only dwarven romance I could find."  
"Dwarven ro...(hehe) dwarven...romance." Varric wiped a hand down his face. "Sweetheart, I could get you a boatload of better crap than this. That I wrote myself. But let's see how...'Rose Winters' (please tell me that's a pen name) does..." He opened the book.  
"It's crap but it's better because it's crap YOU wrote, huh? It's more fun when you read it aloud." Essa snickered. Varric patted the bedroll next to him.  
"Well..."  
"You want me to read it to you?"  
"Why not? The way you blush makes me giggle." He made himself comfortable and she sidled up next to him. Holding the book where she could easily see it, Essa began to read.  
" ' Freya Stoneheart's hips swayed as she walked the path. Men of all races ate her with their hungry stares as she passed them, her ample bu-" She paused as they both snorted trying to supress laughter. " '...her ample bust heaving over her bodice like ripe...."  
)(  
The Underdark is a vast network of caverns miles below the surface of Abeir-Toril. It is home to many different creatures, sentient and non-sentient. Most famous of its inhabitants are the drow, dark elves exiled to this underground existence long ago after their goddess Lolth fell from grace amongst the pantheon of elven gods, collectively called the Seldarine. Varric shrugged it off that it couldn't be worse than the Deep Roads. Then he saw that even Jaheira and Sir Keldorn were afraid and hoped the Maker could hear his prayers across time and space as he clutched Bianca close. Brain eating tentacle monsters, giant many-eyed beasts, fish-men, dark elves, it went on and on. Varric almost wished they'd taken their chances with Saemon Havarian.  
Imoen was found. Varric knew Essa was the type to formally state her release of him from her service and yet she said nothing. Had she forgotten? Not possible. She knew he couldn't make it back to mainland alone. He thought back to their last stay in Brynnlaw. He could have hopped a ship back to Athkatla and been back in the Hanged Man by now. Why was he here? Bianca, I thought we agreed we wouldn't get attached. I know. I know! Oh shut up. We'll make sure they get out of here in one piece. We owe them that much. Thankfully the first inhabitants of this...happy world of fun...were deep gnomes. They were at least forthcoming with information. Irenicus and Bodhi had indeed passed through here on their way to the drow city of Ust Natha. They pointed them to their settlement. The deep gnomes faced hostilities from the drow, always having to scrape for tribute yet they welcomed the party with open arms. The tunnels were just as dark but not reeking with that 'welcome to your doom in the deep dark doomy doom' feel. There was even an inn. Thank the gods. A few hairy fights and the group was welcoming a rest as uneasy as this place made them.  
Imoen walked beside her half-sister, hands behind her back. "So Essa...you and Varric are..."  
"Are what?" Essa asked.  
"Well you tell me."  
"I don't care for that look in your eye, sister."  
"I heard you two giggling like schoolgirls at Spellhold."  
Varric turned and saw the girls chatting excitedly in the corner. Maker, what are those two hens clucking about? They both suddenly looked at him and turned away, Essa blushing and Imoen giggling like mad.  
Oh, no.  
From what Essa and Jaheira had told him of Imoen, she was trouble. Not the evil monster kind, the dye-your-hair-pink-while-you're-sleeping kind. Doubtlessly she saw them reading together and got the wrong idea.  
"Talking about boys, no doubt. Reminds me of Leona and her friends." Sir Keldorn chuckled.  
"I think they were talking about *me*." Varric looked back at the girls and tried to imitate their voices. " 'Oh, Varric is so cute!' 'Yeah, for a dwarf I guess.' 'What do you 'for a dwarf?' I'm a cute dwarf!' 'I don't know, I guess I'm just not into blonds!' "  
Sir Keldorn laughed heartily then took on a more serious tone. "Varric, I've seen the way you speak to women. You flirt quite freely. A young, impressionable girl like Essa could easily take those flirtations seriously."  
Varric sat up in his chair. "I'm always a gentleman, Sir Keldorn. I don't think Essa takes it seriously." Pfft. This gal gathers parental figures like normal dwarves gather coin. Sir Keldorn laughed quietly under his breath, his blue eyes dancing with some withheld knowledge.  
)(  
"Varric! Lower your crossbow, show some respect!" Jaheira hissed as the group stared up at the shimmering form of a silver dragon. Hesitantly, Varric obliged. Where he came from, dragons didn't talk, they just tried to eat you.  
"I will overlook your conduct for now. I require your assistance." said the dragon, who called herself Adalon.  
"We will assist you any way we can, my lady." Essa gave a small bow.  
"No offense, Lady Adalon but...what can we do that a dragon can't accomplish?" Varric rested a hand on Essa's shoulder and nudged her gently aside.  
"Though I can take human form, any subterfuge I attempt within the drow city Ust Natha would be detected immediately. They have stolen my eggs. For what purpose, I do not know. If I should retaliate they would surely destroy them."  
Essa made an audible gulp. "Facing a whole city of drow? That is..."  
"Impossible?" Adalon asked. "Perhaps. I do not ask you to storm its gates, no. I have a more subtle solution. I will use my magic to disguise you as drow. You can gain entry by posing as a scouting party I dispatched recently. "  
"Gain their trust, find the eggs and stroll out. Sounds easy enough." Varric smirked. " Why not just send one of us? Less to draw attention."  
"The scouting party was comprised of six, and I'm assuming you alone would undertake this task? A lone male drow would seem..suspicious."  
Imoen rubbed her chin in thought. "What if...he wasn't alone? Maybe Nalia and I could go with Varric, say the rest of our party got captured by mindflayers and...-"  
Adalon shook her great head. "I doubt they would care about a missing scouting party. They are too few in number already due to the fighting with the surface elves. Only a drow of great importance would warrant a search and rescue."  
Essa paced the floor a bit "Unless...the lost party had vital information regarding the enemy's position. Or perhaps a captive..."  
The dragon tapped her silvery claws on the ground. "That would still leave the issue of finding the eggs. "  
Varric clasped his hands together. "You just leave that to me, my lady."


	12. Along Came A Spider...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:   
>  Something Diabolical: Bloodhound Gang (Feat. Ville Valo)
> 
> It's a song see?

Varric stared at his hands and laughed. A good look at his clothes showed Adalon's powerful magic was enough to fool even the wises of drow. Dark colored leather armor and a spider motif took the place of his scarlet silk tunic and leather duster. He'd seen his reflection in a mirror in the Ust Natha tavern. His own strong featured face, blond hair and tawny eyes had been replaced with the slender, finely boned visage of a dark elf; ebony skin and snow-white hair, dark red eyes. The only way he knew it was himself was when he was sure no one was looking, his mouth twitched into a devilish smile.  
That smile had drawn the attention of many a lovely lass on the surface world, but the female drow were not taken by charms. They lusted after power in all things, including -especially- mates. Knowing that the illusion would probably not work during intimacy (height difference...), Varric (calling himself Veldrin at Adalon's suggestion), with great reluctance, had to decline when one of those dark beauties offered to take him in the lust chambers. The drow woman was greatly insulted, taking this rejection as an affront to her sexual prowess, and were it not for an untimely intervention by 'Imrith' she would have surely sent him to be flogged by the Handmaidens of Lolth. Imoen, the quick thinking little imp she was, had been too eager to strike him for wandering off and all but called the other woman out to the fighting pit for trying to bed 'her' male. She and Nalia (or Nathrae) took turns treating him like less than garbage as was the norm in Lolth-worshipping drow settlements. Varric immediately started to regret his little idea as soon as he learned this.  
The bitter ale served in the tavern did not make this mission any easier. He remembered dwarven ale was made from mushrooms too but it didn't taste like...like ass and despair. He stared into his mug. They'd rescued some important drow gal named Phaere and Phaere suddenly thought Varric's little power trio was just neato. She was up to something, Nalia pointed out. All drow were constantly plotting and scheming and planning to have each other killed. Joy. When can we leave? He recalled Essa, Jaheira and Sir Keldorn warning him about all these things and to be sure to keep Nalia and Imoen safe. Imoen, Maker bless her, was savvy enough to adapt to the ruse and Nalia mostly let her do the talking. He dearly wished the illusion cast on them included a masterful poker face. It was hard sometimes to hide his quiet panic when one of the drow spoke to him. It was also difficult for Imoen to repress her mirth. Varric felt bad for her, and felt even worse than he had ripped her away from Essa after they'd fought so long to be reunited. 

This Phare, this daughter of a Matron Mother (does she shop in the department of redundancy department?) had given them a three day break. Finally. Her tasks were always incredibly dangerous and urgent. They had been only given a small frame of time in which to report to the designated area, complete the task and return. What was she in such a big hurry about? With only the magical fires to indicate the time, Varric was unsure if they'd been in Ust Natha for hours, days or weeks. He thought of Essa, pacing, praying and worrying for them. Funny she was on his mind at all. She was on board with a quick get-in-get-out plan but she was not a patient woman. Almost like this Phaere broad. Impatient or otherwise, Phaere was quite lovely, but once again Varric had to shoot down an offer of making whoopee, only this time Imoen mocked him and said he couldn't because he was a eunuch. A eunuch!? Is that the best lie you can come up with!? He was at least fine with pretending she was his paramour, then at least he could have some dignity. These drow women had no shame; they were either parading around in see-through robes and...and even the ones in full plate armor did that 'slut' walk and oh MAKER. For some reason thinking of how pissed Essa would be if they screwed up kept him focused. She'd probably come after him with that mace cursing like a fishwife. That didn't save him from Imoen waking him up at least once with a...flagpole. He'd had a naughty dream about those obsidian-skinned nymphs all making him their bitch and...well yeah. That was awkward.  
Varric made a half-serious vow that he would become celibate if they survive this.  
)(  
Maker, I hate spiders, Varric thought as he entered the temple of Lolth. Phaere was rather unsurprisingly up to no good and asked the trio to bring the pilfered silver dragon eggs to her and swap them with fakes. The drow intended to offer the eggs to a demon in exchange for its service and should the demon be decieved and slay the Matron, Phaere would offer the real eggs and take lead of House Despana. The drow lived to play these elaborate games of chess from the moment they were born. They did not know kindness or love. Theirs was only cruelty and malice...all for the glory of Lolth. What a way to live. Your own goddess sits in her Demonweb Pits watching you kill each other. It was abundantly clear now why Viconia had left this place. According to Essa, Viconia was evil but she drew the line at killing babies.  
The drow guards were dispatched almost too easily. With a click and a metallic groan the vault door swung open. Maker...golems. Even I know those are golems. Getting rid of the guards' bodies was simple; they were pushed into the pit over which all the buildings of Ust Natha were built. Their masters would regard them as missing, shrug it off (they were both male) and replace them. The golems on the other hand... Imoen looked sharply at Varric, and he could almost hear her whining 'now what?'. Nalia was present, however her invisibility spell would be void if she lifted a hand to take the eggs. Damn. They hadn't exactly thought this through, and Phaere never said anything about golems. Maybe she was on to them...no. She couldnt' be.  
Suddenly Imoen gestured wildly to Varric to look at where the eggs were stored. The golems didn't move even as the clutch of silver dragon eggs were lifted into the air. Whoever this invisible thief was, they waved the eggs towards the door. Astonished, the trio followed. Phaere, perhaps, doing her own dirty work for a change? No, they were headed towards the city gate. Varric's breath caught in his throat when he heard someone shout, "THIEVES! Stop them! They will know endless torment for stealing from the house of the Spider Queen!"  
Turned to them -her spell worn off- was a young drow female holding the egg sac to her chest. She bit her lip as she sheepishly slid the eggs into her pack. "Time to go!"  
They broke into a run with half a dozen drow on their heels. "Filth! Scum! Did you think your false god would protect you!?" one of them shouted. Essa, you devil. I should have guessed by the hairstyle and your vacant expression. As if on cue, Nalia tripped and cried out. Essa screeched to a halt and turned to go back but Varric stopped her.  
"I'll get Nalia, you take the eggs and get back to the cave."  
Essa panted and swallowing hard started past him but he grabbed her hand. "No, damn it. You go. Now!"  
She looked at her hand in his then back at him. "Be careful."  
Giving her hand a squeeze, he smiled. "Always." When he saw Essa make a beeline for the gate he unholstered Bianca. To fit in with the illusion Bianca appeared to be made of adamantium, a twisted, black ugly material that dissolved in sunlight. He patted Bianca's stock affectionately. "I couldn't give my baby an ugly drow name. Come on. Let's show these bastards how crossbows work."  
A drow raised its scimitar in what was meant to be a decapitating blow when Nalia rolled over and a stream of fire issued from her hands. The drow warrior screamed in agony and rage and with a kiss from Bianca he finally went down. Slim and short, the drow were almost too easy to knock about and soon Varric and Nalia stood back to back with bashes and bruises to remember looking for a clear path out of the gate.  
"Looks like we're just going to have to fight our way out of here." Varric breathed as he loosed another bolt into a drow's chest. "How good are you at running and throwing those little meteors of yours at the same time?"  
Nalia blasted a pair of drow with a fireball "I supposed we'll have to find out. I'm running out of magic, let's make a break for it."  
Varric ran ahead, swiping Bianca in front of him, mowing down drow in their path with Bianca's bayonet or at least knocking them aside. Nalia's 'little meteors' caused small explosions all around them and it felt like his lungs were going to burst. Then the gate came into view. It was closing. Varric had never run so hard in his life, and snatching Nalia's hand pulled her in front of him shoving her out the gate then he spun around and opened fire on the drow. He looked up and saw the gate keeper trying to close the gate faster, and brought him down with a bolt before slipping through the space narrow enough for a dwarf, but enough to stall the drow until one of them could climb up and operate the gate. Nalia saw him coming and smiled and together they entered Adalon's cave.  
)(  
Adalon took on a human form and teleported the party (now in their true forms) to the gate to the surface and slew the drow guarding it. More greeted them and they wished Adalon could help further but some relief came with the appearance of surface elves, sylvan elves from the look of it. The elves barked at the party to see Elhan their commander and soon they came to an opening where the glorious sun shone. As they raced amongst the fighting, the drow and sylvan elves clashing steel on steel in the kind of fury and hatred that comes with ages of animosity, for the first time in his life Varric was glad to be outside. Never before had he recalled being so glad to see the sunlight but their joy was cut short when a large group of grim looking elves forced them to halt and they were escorted to see Elhan.  
Elhan had no mark of age upon him even as his expression soured further at the sight of the party as he looked out of his tent. The other elves watched them carefully as Elhan stepped out of the tent at the strangers in his camp.  
"Four humans, a half-human and two dwarves escape the Underdark. Hmph. Who leads this rabble?"

Essa stepped forward. "I lead this party, elf. Now please be brief, I have wounded that need tending and enemies to punish."

"Watch your tongue here, girl. I will not simply let you walk by. Know this; I do not trust you, I do not HAVE to trust you. With a word my men will cut you down if you so much as breathe in a manner that is not to my liking, do you understand?" Elhan walked slowly towards her, hands behind his back and halted inches away from the dwarf woman, who did not even flinch. The two gave each other hard stares. "Now tell me, why were you in the Underdark?"

"Because we heard it's lovely this time of year." Varric said. "Look chief, we're not spies for the drow if that's what you're thinking."

Elhan shot him a glare. "I will decide that. My sages here will detect any falsehood in your statements. Now...YOU tell me why were you escaping the Underdark?" He pointed at Essa. She looked at Jaheira and Imoen who were acting as a pair of human crutches to Nalia and Sir Keldorn glowering from under his helm about the delay.  
"I left them bloodied and beaten! I did not flee." Essa sneered.  
"Truth." Said one of the sages. Essa blinked in surprise. And she would lie about this, why?  
Pacing in front of them Elhan did not take his eyes off of Essa. "Any why were you there in the first place?"  
"I seek the head of Irenicus! I owe him a debt of pain..."  
The elves collectively gasped and began to all talk at once in their native tongue but Elhan waved them to silence. "You seek the Exile..."  
"You mean Irenicus? And we seek Bodhi as well. We are no allies of the drow or that mage and his vampire sister."  
"Absolute truth." Said the sage and Essa rubbed her temples with both hands.  
"Their names are to be spoken as little as possible. So...you seek the Exiles...the enemy of my enemy. Classically speaking this would make you our friend. "  
"Your enemy...how has Ire- I mean how have the Exiles wronged you?"  
"I cannot say. It is not the concern of outsiders..."

"Outsiders or not we are part of this fight. Is there a way I can prove my good intent to you, perchance?" Essa gave an exasperated sigh.

Elhan thought a moment. "Seek the Rhynn Lanthorn. It is-"

"The Rum Lantern?"

"The RHYNN. LANTHORN. It is the key to the city. The drow desecrated the temple and invaded Suldenessallar. We must find our way back in. We do not know who could have taken it."  
Without hesitation Essa said "Bodhi. Only she would have been trusted with such a task. We've tangled with her before, likely she's gone back to her old stomping grounds under Athkatla. But...she surely has gathered more vampires...it would take an army to-"  
"I would have sent my own men if it were that easy." Elhan turned his back to them and walked towards a chest by a table. Opening the chest he took out several items; two beautiful golden urns and wooden stakes. "For us to march upon Athkatla -even to ask for aid- it would be looked upon as an act of war. But you...you on the other hand can seek allies. " The elf looked towards the foundation of what was once the temple, then west towards Amn.  
"The knights of the Most Noble Order of The Radiant Heart would lend their blades to this cause." The look on Sir Keldorn's face brightened, even if it wasn't so obvious from behind his helm.  
"The Shadow Thieves owe us one." Said Nalia. "Plus I am sure they would like to see Bodhi put down."  
Taking the urns and stakes Elhan turned back to Essa. "This is water filled with vengeance for the desecration of Rillifane's temple. And the stakes will destroy the beasts utterly. Now go."  
Curling her fingers around the holy items Essa bowed her head. "I will not fail. I will not..."

)(  
On the way back, Essa and company had run across another party, one they would never expect; the drow ranger Drizzt Do'Urden and his companions. The girls (not Jaheira) swooned over the darkly handsome drow, and even Sir Keldorn went a little fanboy despite his apparent need for righteous homicide when it came to drow. The two companies halted. The drow paused and looked over Essa and her own crew.  
"Hold, friends; we have company. Hail fellow travelers. Did you perchance see a pink hammer in this area?"  
The dwarf in his party, a stereotypical type, grew indignant. "Blast ye, Drizzt! Me hammer be red, not pink!"  
Essa rolled her shoulders forward, causing her plate armor and its leather fittings to groan and creak, rattling the chailmail and her various magical trinkets. "Um, no. I haven't seen it. Sorry."  
A sigh escaped Drizzt's lips. "Well I thank you anyway. But....you look familiar to me..." He strolled forward and knelt in front of Essa so that he was eye level with her. "Yes, I remember you! You once aided me against some gnolls up north! Your name is...ahh..." She started to answer but he halted her "No, let me remember (it's on the tip of my tongue)...hmmm...Essa! Essa is your name!"  
She nodded vigorously and Sir Keldorn marched up. "You have met this noble man and did not tell me, Essa? Why?" He laughed and Drizzt stood and faced the paladin offering a hand which Sir Keldorn shook eagerly. If Varric had rolled his eyes any harder they would have popped out of his head. Nalia and Imoen looked on starstruck and Jaheira found some interesting plant to keep her occupied. Varric almost asked her if it happened to be hemlock or some other toxic plant so that he may swallow it and not pursue this Mutual Admiration Society meeting to its final stupidity.  
"Oh Drizzt, such a celebrity you are.." Said the human girl in Drizzt's party. Essa stared at Drizzt for a long time, though not in a creepy way. She was studying him for a new drawing, most likely.  
"I didn't think you'd believe me!" She playfully pushed Keldorn's shoulder. "Drizzt, if you are not in any hurry I have a proposal."  
A marriage proposal I bet, Varric thought sourly. Sheesh what's so great about this Drizzt guy anyway? "I guess there's an exception to everything, an opposite of every possible outcome. But if you would have asked me yesterday 'Hey Varric, did you know that some drow are good?' I would have asked you what you were on and why weren't you sharing."

Ignoring his comment Drizzt turned his attention back to Essa. "Speak on, friend Essa." Imoen squealed in delight.

"Well, in the crypts beneath Athkatla are a coven of vampires lead by a woman named Bodhi. My friends and I..." She gestured to them. "are gathering forces to destroy them. If you could aid us we would be most grateful."

"Vampire infestation..." Drizzt rubbed his chin. "We will meet you there."

Varric waved one finger in a circle. "Whoop-dee-doo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a Drizzt fan but I thought the meeting with him in BG and BG2 was kind of silly so I did what I do best. Exaggerate.


	13. In Through The Out Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:   
> Nymphetamine - Cradle of Filth

Essa was eager to defeat Bodhi and move on to Irenicus but after she fell asleep in her armor decided a small break was in order. But the vampires are killing people! Let the guard deal with it. But Irenicus is at Suldenessallar doing gods know what! Let the elves deal with it, the brought it on themselves. Varric wasn't sure it was her lack of a soul that made her stop caring or maybe his lessons of 'stop-give-a-shit' were beginning to sink in. It wasn't a mean, selfish thing. She did so much good, made a lot of gold doing it but sometimes you just gotta throw up your hands and say 'let someone else run off and save the day'.   
He would admit she wasn't completely foolish. While Essa didn't outright demand payment up front (or a better payment) something about her made people throw gold at her. Then one day of that break she finally relented and showed him her secret; a ring. This ring, she told him, was called the Ring of Human Influence and it made her more charismatic. So THAT was it. She'd used magic on him! That's what was wrong-  
Nalia and Imoen apologized profusely for their mistreatment of Varric in the Underdark. He told them it was no big deal and knew they had to keep up appearances. However he did let Imoen know he did NOT appreciate being called a eunuch..mostly because she wasn't keeping the story straight. They were lucky they didn't get caught because of that alone. In that case, he decided to take Imoen under his wing in the art of lying. Sometimes, just sometimes, keeping people guessing is a bad thing.  
Whatever they could pass for a normal life, the party returned to a normal life. Essa spent a lot of time reading; Sir Keldorn spent time with his family, took his daughter to the circus; Imoen sometimes went with them, but most of the time she practiced her thieving skills. On Varric. They did get into a brief mess where Jaheira left the party with seemingly no intention of returning, which upset Essa greatly. The Harpers, some balance-keeping organization or some such thing (Varric wasn't sure) decided Essa was a threat to the world and should be locked under the earth for all time. So naturally Jaheira wanted to stop them and ended up killing the whole lot. They called her traitor, she renounced them, it was a big mess. And as if there couldn't be enough twists, those guys weren't even real Harpers. Huh. Figures.   
Varric himself mostly went out drinking, sometimes Haer'Dalis or Minsc joined him. The barbarian could hold his liquor, but the tiefling was ultimately more fun and almost always ended the night with a flock of topless wenches around him and men throwing gold at his feet. One night Haer'Dalis asked Varric point blank; "Why are you still here?" Varric didn't answer and the bard did not press. He just gave him that 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' look. He wanted to relax a bit before heading back to his Merchant League seat, skullduggery and writing. Plus this little mishap would make one hell of a story. It needed some...tweaking of course.  
)(  
Leaning over the leather chair Varric peeked at the book Essa was poring over. "Boo."  
She twitched slightly then looked up and smiled. Resting both arms on the back of the chair he laid his head on his shoulder. "Did I scare you?"  
"Master Tethras, the only thing about me that scares you is your...relationship with Bianca."  
He gave an admitting shrug. "Touche. Hey! What did I tell you about calling me 'master'?"  
"Don't, unless you intend to end it in 'debater'?"  
"No! Good one though." He circled round and sat in a chair across from her.  
Still smiling Essa looked down at her book and turned the page. "No 'cunning linguist' jokes?"  
"Not in front of Bianca. Did an innuendo just fall from your lips, Essa?"  
"My lips can do many...many things..."  
He rested his chin on his hand. "Color me intrigued."  
Clapping the book shut Essa laid it on a table and took a sip from a goblet. "There are no books on vampire lore here. They've all be checked out."  
Disappointed that the saucy banter came to a halt, Varric frowned. He then recognized the line from the trashy book she'd lent him. The Temple of Oghma was quiet, as befitting a library. The room was relatively small, staffed by four monks of the faith and three of the walls were built-in shelved stuffed with books while other tomes waiting to be sorted were stacked on the floor. The reading area in which they now sat was decorated with a plush, wine-colored rug with desks on the back wall, and a circle of chairs around a low table. Oil lanterns and rays of sun were the only source of light."Is there something you don't know about them? Set them on fire or kill them with a stake, easy."  
Taking the stopper off a crystal carafe, Essa poured wine into another goblet and and slid it across the table towards Varric "You can also drown them in running water, but...that takes too much time. I was just thinking I knew a lot about how to destroy them but nothing about how they came to be...or if they can be cured. But anyway...I imagine you're here about your contract. I admit I expected you to already be gone."  
The wine was sweet, then tangy. It was like a maiden's kiss on a...oh to hell with it. "Believe it or not I came to see what you were doing."  
"Uh, reading. I like to read. Back to the matter at hand. I see it fit to release you." She peered down into her goblet.  
"Great. But I think you need a hand with those vampires."  
She gave him an incredulous look and inclined her head forward. "You're telling me you're going to stay longer?"  
Wriggling out of his coat, Varric tossed the leather duster over the back of his chair while Bianca stood propped up at his side. "I could use a mini-vacation. I'm not really in any hurry to get home." Pulling off the fingers of his gloves one at a time he hummed a tune.  
"You could have fooled me when we first met." Essa toyed the hem of her lavender tunic, looking at the dark grey embroidery. "You were in such a rush."  
"Well..." Varric stretched his arms. "You've grown on me, what I can I say? Besides, I get the feeling that sending me back isn't going to be as simple as a magic spell." He watched the candles' flames dance.   
Essa sunk into her chair. "Even when I can steal quiet moments like this I always feel like my fate will be sealed tomorrow."  
"Exciting, isn't it?"  
"No."  
"I have to admit something." She lowered her voice to a near whisper. "I'm...scared, Varric. I don't think I've been this scared since I faced Sarevok in the Undercity. And I've grown exponentially powerful since then. Why do you suppose that is?"  
Varric smiled into his goblet. "You've got a lot more to lose, I suppose. Then, you were avenging your father."  
"It wasn't just about revenge, Sarevok was evil. He planned to start a war to prove that he could be the new Lord of Murder. And Sarevok was just human! Bodhi and Irenicus are...are a vampire elf and a mage elf with the souls of Bhaalspawn! "  
"Well just remember they both ran off with their tails between their legs and only have the balls to face us now because they took your souls!"  
Essa nodded in agreement then heaved a sigh. "But you're never scared..."  
Varric straightened up in his chair. "Bullshit! Let me tell you something, Essa. The only difference between bravery and idiocy is fear. (Hm I gotta write that down). Fear is self-preservation." He mentally patted himself on the back for his brilliant observation then added quickly as though without thinking" When I thought you were going to die on that altar, I was scared." He paused again and said more casually " Sir Keldorn, even our stone-hearted Jaheira, scared shitless. Fear is what drives bravery. Haven't you figured that out yet? Or have you been charging blindly like Minsc?"  
She gave a throaty chuckle. "Maybe a little. So how far into Forbidden Stone are you?"  
"About halfway through. Though I do miss your impression of Freya Stoneheart and the hammy way you read the prose. Slaying monsters, making unsexy prose funny, is there anything you can't do?"  
"I can't whistle."  
Varric shifted in his chair suppressing a grin. "Can you...skip stones on water?"  
"Not very far."  
"Can you...rub your belly and pat your head?"  
"...no."  
"Curl your tongue?"  
"Yes."  
"Ah, got me there. Can you juggle?"  
"No."  
"Neither can I but Bartrand can."  
They both laughed shortly at that. Essa shook her head, her red tresses flailing like a dying squid. "Nalia, Aerie and Imoen dragged me to a tailor yesterday. And the bakery, and the jeweler! Making me do girl stuff. All for the Firecams' party. I can't deny Imoen anything...I feel bad for her, she should be able to get out and enjoy life and leave the moping to me."  
Varric poured himself some more wine. "Oh sure, how dare your sister make you have fun. You don't have to be so responsible all the time. Don't you ever do anything frivolous?"  
She thought a moment. "I bought that romance novel."  
"Oooh another book! Naughty! If you're worried you're going to die any moment you sure don't live like it."  
"Hm, you're right. Maybe I'll buy that dress after all."  
)(

There were no pretty dresses in the Athkatlan tombs, unless you counted the finery of the dead and the vampires. The knights of the Radiant Heart quickly broke throught the defenses of the secret surface entrance of Bodhi's lair and Essa and company burst inside. Were it not for her stature and shock of red hair under her helm, one might think Essa was a paladin as well. They fought their way into the main chamber where the Shadow Thieves were at work. With so many people it was hard using Bianca in close quarters but Varric was content to bash and stab a few as he covered Imoen and Nalia at Essa's request.   
The vampires went down quickly but there were so many, and the more powerful ones from their previous visit were revived probably thanks in part to Imoen's soul. There were ghouls and other undead abominations and soon the floor was an inch deep in gore. They heard Drizzt and his company shouting from the next chamber as Jaheira pulled Nalia out of the fray to heal her. It was then Varric saw something that turned his stomach.  
The body of a woman was in the pool of blood kept by the vampires. She'd been stripped to the waist and was covered in bites and blood. The blonde hair and curve of an elven ear... No...it couldn't be...He heard a screaming sound and turned to see a vampire bearing down on him when a glittering blade burst from its chest and it fell dead. Drizzt planted a foot against the vampire and removed his scimitar from its corpse.  
"That's the last of them." Drizzt followed the path of Varric's gaze to the lifeless woman. "We found the fledgelings...feeding... on that girl. Did you know her?"  
Varric cautiously approached her and confirmed his suspicions. "Mithiriel...! How...?"  
Drizzt turned and called out "Essa, come quickly!"  
Within moments the cleric charged into the room -sweaty and bloodstained- with Sir Keldorn and Imoen in tow. "Torm preserve us..." Sir Keldorn breathed. Turning over Mithiriel's body they saw an arrow. Essa threw down her mace and shield, removed her helm and cast it aside, rushed to the body and began checking for signs of life.   
The drow lowered his head."Cattie-brie put her down. I'm sorry. They were turning her into a vampire."  
"So she wasn't dead...well she is now..." Essa's face twisted in fury.  
"Not necessarily." Drizzt said slowly. "I don't want to give you false hope, but she was merely in the process of being turned. There is a small chance she can be revived, free of the taint. Though..I am not sure how that could be achieved. "  
Essa poured the holy water into the blood pool, cleansing it of evil."I'm going to go downstairs and stomp Bodhi first..."   
)(  
Re-armed, pissed off and magically empowered, the team descended the stairs quickly and Arkanis the Shadow Thief swiftly disarmed traps even Varric did not see. Standing in the back of the room flanked by Grimwarders, was the vampire Bodhi.   
"Just tell me one thing, Bodhi...just between us girls. Did you think you'd escape me?" Essa circled round the blood pool and did not bat an eyelash when Drizzt tossed the holy water in from across the room.  
"I have no intention of escaping this time. " Bodhi said coolly, flexing her claws. "Just between us, the blood of your friend Mithiriel was most delicious. I remember her.... Her stupid husband and children died almost too easily. I admit it was uncharacteristically intelligent of you to look for me here. I expected you to search in Suldenessallar."  
Imoen readied one of her throwing knives. "You can run your mouth all you want, Bodhi, but you die today. I will have my soul!"  
"So you have not dissolved into dust! Either you are stronger than you look or just too stupid to die! I will enjoy killing the lot of you....I..." Bodhi faltered. "The surface elves! You aided them, didn't you!? They deserve no less than death! I should almost let you live so an outsider will question them!"  
Bianca sang and struck the vampire true, but that only served to enrage her. She evaded Sir Eric the paladin, struck down Arkanis, shrugged off Nalia and Imoen's fireballs and side stepped Jaheira's entangling roots, pulled Sir Keldorn's bolt out of her neck and headed straight for Essa.  
"I will feast on the blood of the gods and you will head to death with questions unanswered!" The vampire lunged and with a cry Essa thrust her shield into Bodhi's face while Varric and Sir Keldorn continued to pepper her with bolts. Staggering backward, Bodhi shook it off and seized Essa's head and went for the jugular but leapt back with a scream as her skin bubbled and melted from a face-full of holy water. Essa then dropped her weapons and took Bodhi's face in her hands and drew her close enough to whisper."Good morning."   
From under her hands, Bodhi's skin caught fire and a pink light filled the room as though the sun itself was rising even in the bowels of the earth. The others shielded their eyes from the false dawn and Bodhi shrieked "No, this life is mine! It's mine!" before shifting into a bat and retreating. Essa drew a stake and charged after her. "Not this time!" Inside the back room was an ancient gondola -perhaps the treasure of some long dead king- within lay Bodhi's charred, melted corpse. Essa raised the stake high and plunged it into Bodhi's heart. An invisible force knocked her flat on her back and golden sparks of light raced towards Imoen. Breathing in the essence of Bhaal, Imoen felt renewed and rushed to her sister pulling her back onto her feet.  
"My soul is restored...thanks to you. Sis." They exchanged smiles. "I'd hug you but you're covered in something gross."  
"So the vampire dies. One less of the vile beasts to upset the balance." Jaheira wiped her scimitar and sheathed it.  
"Our fearless leader hogs all the glory." Varric laid Bianca across his shoulders. "Bianca wanted a stab at Bodhi, pun intended."  
"She'll get more chances at even stronger foes..." Essa looked down at her grimy armor. "Well, let's find the Rhynn Lanthorn and get out of here."  
No sooner had she said so, a panel on the gondola slid open holding a beautiful lantern. "Huh. how about that? " Essa took the Rhynn Lanthorn and secured it to her belt. "Now, see if there's anything useful here. Or shiny. I'm up for either/or."  
Nalia labored carefully over a locked chest, insisting she give it a try before Varric simply kicked off the lock. Inside was a sword and some books. Yippee skip. Varric looked them over with disinterest noting absently how old they looked. Turning one over in his hands he glanced back to the main chamber. "Essa, come look at this."  
Essa and Sir Keldorn were admiring the Rhynn Lanthorn, then Essa handed it off to Jaheira and approached Varric. "Find something interesting?"

"Very. Didn't you say all the books on vampirism at the temple of Oghma were checked out? Seems like Bodhi's done her homework." He waved one of the books around until Essa snatched it from him.   
"Give me that!" Essa read the title. " 'Dea Vampir Becomos' " Opening the book she quickly scanned a few pages. "I can't read it, the ink is faded. And this is...ew it's covered in blood!" She held the book away from her with just her finger and thumb. "In the margin notes it talks about how to...become a vampire."  
Jaheira took the book from her with the same cautious fingers. "Bodhi intentionally inflicted herself with vampirism, that much we know from Irenicus' own notes. What do the other two books speak of?"  
Varric read the titles of the other two book titles in an ominous tone. "One is 'Conjur Ota Servanta' and the other is 'The Vampiricus Omnibus: Unabridged, Ending The Plague Of Teeth."   
Passing them to Essa she read them, hands trembling. "One book on how to become a vampire,another on how to create vampire servants...I guess everyone has hobbies. But the third I cannot read at all. However Bodhi took some nice notes. Who wants to go back to the temple ruins in Umar Hills?"  
)(  
"Are you sure this is going to work?" Imoen asked for the hundredth time. True, they did lug around a dead body in a sack for a day or two and 'temple ruins' did indicate a dead god. Gods rose and fell in this land, and sometimes Varric forgot he ran with two god-children. Well only one was perhaps god material. The other, well....as Jaheira put it, there was already a god of mischief. It occured to him halfway to Imnesvale that this 'resurrection theory' only mostly appealed to Essa's 'nerd' side, not neccessarily the desire to bring Mithiriel back to life. Sir Keldorn surmised that perhaps it was so she may exhibit *some* measure of control in her life. Death was a slap on the wrist in these times, Varric was told. For the rare times when there isn't a way to raise the person at hand or...not enough of the person *to* raise, a sense of failure was common. Essa often healed people with her powers, free of charge. It didn't take a genius to figure out that that was so no child will ever have to be without a parent. But all Essa would say on the matter was she knew Gorion would want her to use her powers to do good in the world. She spoke of Jaheira's late husband Khalid -both of whom had been long acquainted with the mage Gorion- and how he'd tell her how proud Gorion must be. Only now she did not weep; it was past time to weep, she said. It took guts to do what she did, Varric admitted.   
The village children in Imnesvale followed the party to the edge of town asking for stories and demonstrations of their prowess. For a child raised by poor farmers or sheperds, the adventuring life was a highly romanticized fantasy. Jaheira generally discouraged Essa from telling tales of great cities and slaying hideous monster but Essa felt the children should be inspired to become more than what they are; that their destiny is theirs to create.   
At last they came to the forest, no longer blackened with the foul magic of the Shade Lord. The somber remains of a temple to Amaunator -crumbling white stones, a dirty fountain- lay like the bones of some long dead giant. Armed with torches they descended once more into the yawning entrance of the temple. The golden statue of a woman with outstretched arms and eyes blazing with light beckoned to them in the darkness. Removing Mithiriel's body from her bag of holding and with Sir Keldorn and Varric's help, Essa laid the elf in the statue's arms and with it placed the symbol of Amanuator and the disembodied, withered black heart of Bodhi. A flash of white light blinded the group and when normal vision returned, there stood Mithiriel, no longer cold and grey. She pulled the tattered remnants of her robe to cover herself and blinked owlishly as Essa placed a spare cloak about the dazed elf's shoulders.  
"You...you brought me back..." Mithiriel said absently. "I lingered between life and death and here I stand, whole and renewed."  
Essa smiled back at her as Mithiriel took her hands."We couldn't let the vampires have you.I didn't know you weren't dead, I am sorry!"   
"A trifle now, it seems. Bodhi just wanted an elf to torment I expect. I will never be able to repay this debt...I thank you. "  
"What will you do now?"  
"I do not know. It stands to reason I start anew. I will cherish my lost family...they will always be within my heart and I will meet them again one day. But now I shall live once more. There is much to do in this world. Might I...might I accompany you back to Athkatla?"  
Varric would not have believed this had he not seen it with his own eyes and even then it was still hard to believe. Mithiriel lived again...or never died in the first place? He wasn't sure. It eased the ache to see her smile, to see her green eyes sparkle with mirth. Mithiriel spent the trip back to Athkatla fussing over Essa or fawning over nature worse than Jaheira. The best thing she did was hike up her robe to show quite a bit of leg and get them a ride on a caravan headed west. Sir Keldorn looked away blushing and grumbling about modesty but Varric stared unabashed...until Imoen reached over and closed his mouth for him. On the way, he rested his head in Mithiriel's lap while she ran her fingers through his hair and sang quietly in some flowery language he'd never heard. Ohhh this must be heaven...am I dreaming? Imoen made a few coarse jokes about mountains and wood and Essa read very loudly from a meditation book to drown her out.  
Upon arrival Mithiriel kissed the carriage driver on the cheek and thanked him before scampering to the market with Nalia in tow while Essa paid him instead.   
"What's the matter? Not gonna give him some dwarven sugar?" Imoen teased.  
"I am going to the temple. Don't wait up for me." Essa stomped off. Before he knew it, Varric felt a weight on his shoulders.  
"Imoen I presume."  
The theif mage patted him."None other! I was wondering something..."  
Oh boy here we go...  
"Aren't your weird vows to Andraste..blasphemous?"  
Oh. Never mind.  
"Beg pardon?"  
"Andraste's ass, Andraste's knickers, Andraste on a cracker..."  
Varric sighed in relief and tried to walk out from under the human's weight."Not that I'm aware of..."  
Imoen went on. "Andraste's asymmetrical bustline, Andraste's unshakable diaper fetish, Andraste's peanut allergy, Andraste's sixth toe...reflective corset, visible panty-line, third nipple, ugly birthmark...."  
"I might have to use some of those."


	14. Stay Classy, Athkatla (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:
> 
> Lovesong - Vitamin String Quartet

"No, wear it down. You have such lovely hair -for a male."   
Varrics shrugged helplessly as he looked at his reflection, Mithiriel looming behind him. She'd conned him into wearing this emerald green get-up to the Firecam's party and once again that sexy voice of hers won him over. Mithiriel wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind.   
"You look so handsome. "  
"I look like an idiot."  
She grinned. "A handsome idiot."  
"Thank you, that makes it all better."

He caressed the silky skin of her arms as she slipped them loose and moved in front of him to get a better look at herself in the mirror. As she passed he caught the sweet scent of flowers, probably some rare blossom from elven lands. Maker, women...why did you...or rather that Ao fellow...-Corellon something or other- why did you make women so...so? Varric recalled some drunken conversation with Yoshimo about how women were made to fight and die over. To distract men with their assets and get their way. But they agreed that wasn't so bad. He thought of Marian again. He'd bent over backwards against his will for that woman. Isabela told him he'd regret it forever if he didn't tell her. Shaking his head Varric tried to get his mind on something else, so when Mithiriel swept to a kneeling position to ask him something face to face he gently pulled her face closer and kissed her on the lips. She withdrew and gave him a lascivious smile before kissing him back, deeper this time, hands wandering his chest. His hand went absently to the clasp of Mithiriel's pale pink dress but froze mid-unfasten when someone loudly cleared their throat. They both turned guiltily to see who it was (well Varric was forced as Mithiriel had his bottom lip in her teeth).  
"Groping one another - unmarried- in a paladin's home. Why you two are...there's not even a word for that!" Nalia covered her mouth with her hand stifling a laugh. "Are you two coming down or shall I lock the door and walk away?"  
Mithiriel waved her impatiently away. "Go away human, scoot!" The barely concealed grin showed she wasn't serious, however.  
"Well we're still waiting for the Radiant Heart to show up, I just thought I would give you a little notice."  
Yeah yeah, bugger off. Cockblock. Nalia quirked a brow then as if on cue walked away shaking her head. Mithiriel's hands wandered lower and Varric caught them ('S-stop! Stop!'), though gently. "Do you think she'll tell anyone?" She grinned wickedly.  
"She won't if she knows what's good for her."   
She handed him some hair ornament from which beaded flowers and leaves hung. "Will you put this in my hair, please?"   
"Right. I will reach ALL THE WAY up to your head and put whatever the hell this is in it."  
"Use the chair, silly!" She gestured to a small wooden chair in the corner of the room. Resistance being futile, Varric sighed before crossing the room to retrieve the chair. Turning back to the mirror, Mithiriel hummed to herself before saying, "What's YOUR problem, as you might say?"  
"Always 'Varric, you have a problem, tell me!' Maker, there must be no therapists here." Varric dragged the chair closer and stepped up on it, fiddling with the hair clip thing.  
"You just seem agitated."  
"I suppose I'm just irritated at getting caught like a couple of teenagers."  
Mithiriel gave a slow, negative grunt. "You had a tantrum when I pointed out your ascot was tied wrong."  
"My issue was I AM WEARING AN ASCOT. Do you not see the problem there?"  
"Then take off the bloody thing! I care not!"  
Varric tore off the offending accessory with excessive force and cast it on the floor, allowing his trademark chest hair to show. It was 'improper', Mithiriel said, reminded her of a prostitute, Mithiriel said. Varric was still fuming as he continued to wrestle with the damned hair clip. It wouldn't stay put! He would never understand these things. Undergarments were one thing but the other contraptions ladies wore, he would never understand.  
"Do you think...Essa has a chance? Against Irenicus that is." He could see her expression in the mirror soften.  
"Hard to say. "  
"Everything is upside down, it seems."  
"Feels like the last hurrah, the calm before the storm."   
The reflection's eyes lowered. "Seems like we are ever charging off to war. Chasing victory in a world of blood and death. How can there ever be beauty in a world like that, Varric?"  
"It's another thing that you have to chase."  
"Good things never last forever. You hold them as they die in your hands-"  
"Then you go find new good things. What brought this on? What happened to your new lease on life?"  
"I'm worried about you."  
Varric scoffed. "Me? I thought we were talking about our fearless leader."  
She met his gaze in the mirror. "Varric, I have not live three centuries to not be able to see what is right in front of me. We would all give up something for a new life, would we not? I have been blessed by the gods to live a thousand years and can live a series of lives but you...you may only choose one. Do you wish to return to your Thedas, your war of the mages and churches?"  
Varric's hands trembled and he tried to fasten the clip. "And stay here to fight amongst gods and mortals who can become gods?"  
She smirked. "You know it's exciting."  
The clip snapped closed...and stayed! Varric felt silly for this small victory over womens' hair ornaments. Mithiriel smiled and patted her hair carefully. "Just know Varric, Essa will need your support more now than ever. That is all I will say."  
"Trying to get me to stay, are you?"  
"No, that decision is yours alone to make."  
Varric stepped off of the chair. Essa, Essa, Essa, it's always about her. Essa is special, Essa needs her friends to support her, Essa needs this and that and the other thing. He walked towards the doorway. "I'm going ahead, I have...something I have to do."  
The elf turned. "Oh? And that is?"  
He paused in the doorway with an enigmatic smile, taking another good look at Mithiriel, drinking in her beauty. "It's a surprise."  
)(

The view of the guards at the three entrances to the Government district only barely ruined the ambiance. Pink and orange lanterns cast a soft, warm glow and more little candles and flowers floated in the large fountains. Any more romance and Varric was going to lose his lunch. He recognized Pansy - Sir Keldorn's maidservant- barking at some children to stop playing in the fountain. Haer'Dalis was pretending to conduct the string quartet while Aerie watched, giggling. Minsc discreetly removed his hamster Boo from the cheese plate and slipped him back into his pack, berating the rodent. The sun was slipping away, and as soon as it was gone and the stars came out to play the nobles of Athkatla would turn out to get shitfaced and gossip.  
The lanterns could not match the glow of the sunset, and several people watched the western sky in awe, as though they'd never noticed the beauty of dusk. The clouds above rolled by lazily and Varric suddenly hoped for a torrential downpour before anyone noticed him.  
"Good Varric, you've come. Surely to make the nobles blush with your tales."   
He spun around to see Haer'Dalis. "Uh, yeah. But I'm only coming for a few drinks then I'm outta here. "  
The tiefling looked him up and down. "I see the fair Mithiriel has worked her magic upon you. But come, have some wine. " He snatched a full goblet from a passing servant and handed it to him with a flourish. Varric stared at Haer'Dalis a moment before accepting. "Hast thou seen our mortal half goddess yet?"  
Varric looked puzzled. "Half goddess...? Oh! You mean Essa? No, not ye-"  
A female voice bellowed "WHO TOUCHED THE CHEESE PLATE?! MINSC!?"  
Haer'Dalis' eyes danced. "And there she is- my dear raven Essa. Still dangerous as an angry dragon even in silk and lace."  
"I'm going to go say hello. See you around." Varric chuckled and crossed the garden. Standing there looking incredibly uncomfortable was Essa. Her usual braids were tied behind her head, the rest loose but braided six inches at the bottom tied with a ribbon. Was nice to see her whole face when it wasn't bloody, bruised or sweaty. She was making chit-chat with some young knight of the Order, fiddling with the lace on her bodice.   
"Blasted rodent...Anomen- excuse me, SIR Anomen." She paused as the young knight -the fairy tale knight looking type- beamed. "Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Anyway, you know the Order only takes humans."

"I know, my lady. But I would plea your case. I am sure Sir Keldorn would also-"  
"They would make me some paper-pusher or courier, no doubt; IF they considered bringing a non-human into their ranks. And besides, you were just knighted, it would be unseemly to barge in and start making such radical changes." Essa looked over Sir Anomen's armor and realizing she could see herself in it, smoothed out the jaw-length layers of hair that now framed her face.   
Sir Anomen's armor bore the emblem of an upturned right gauntlet which Varric recalled was the symbol of the god Helm. Do all the temples regularly have swinger parties or something? He watched them, listened to their conversation with disinterest. He nearly lost it though when the knight took Essa's hand and kissed it. He murmured what he thought they were saying to amuse himself;   
'Oh Sir Anomen, I can't join the Order! I'm a dwarf and you're all bigoted morons carrying huge weapons to compensate for empty trousers!'   
'My lady, tis not the size of the boat, tis the motion of the ocean. Plus I'm a virgin and no one will make fun of me if I fail to lose it to a dwarf.'   
'You nug-spanking son of a whore! '   
They all turned their attention as the Firecams entered the courtyard. Sir Keldorn gave some obligatory speech thanking everyone for coming, how wonderful love was, blah blah, thanked his wife for sticking with him, popping out their kids and putting up with his shit. Then the string quartet started up a waltz and the couple led the first dance. Yeesh. But ol' Keldy could cut a rug, Varric admitted. Slowly other couples joined them, and Varric realized Essa was counting and reciting the movements under her breath. He tugged on her sleeve and tilted his head towards the dancers. She stared at him, blinking. He repeated the action. "Come on, you know you want to."

"Want to what?"

"Dance, stupid. Fine, you want me to get fancy?" He gave a sweeping bow and held out his hand. "My lady Essa, will you honor me with a dance?" 

"Har har. Sure." She took his hand and he nearly pulled her arm out of its socket as he yoinked her out to the floor. Varric expected her to blush as they had to draw close and -gasp- touch. But Essa took the lead and was mostly happy to put her social skills to practice. Haer'Dalis passed by whirling Aerie round and round. They caught sight of Imoen who turned around and put her hands around herself to make it appear she was necking with someone else. Nalia passed them with some young noble, looking annoyed. She and her partner did a double take but Nalia smiled. Essa kept turning her head this way and that to look at the other dancers. From above they must have looked like an unopened bud in a flower garden. She eventually laid her head on his shoulder and sighed happily. He noted dully her hair smelled faintly of incense and...roses?   
You are trouble, Essa. You are trouble with a capital T. Heh. Just like Hawke.


	15. Stay Classy, Athkatla (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:
> 
> Cherry Waves - Deftones

Hawke...he hadn't thought of her in so long. Bah. Maybe it was just an ego thing. He told Essa in a roundabout way he told Hawke he loved her and she rejected him, but he told Mithiriel he never told her. Either way it was pointless. She burned him and that was that. Mithiriel said it happens, at least you got to know her, et cetera. Essa once confessed (with her best friend Mr. Wine) that she once had a crush on a knight of the Order - one Ajantis Illvastarr- but she learned he was a 'dickless twat' (her exact words). His chest felt heavy now, not just from Essa curling her arms around his neck but from tremendous guilt. They just stood there now, embracing. Not like the time he hugged her for saving Bianca. This was a goodbye hug. Then it became a neck-breaker. (She let go after he grunted in pain)   
The song over, the other dancers applauded and Essa slipper her small hand into Varric's broad one. Sir Keldorn caught his eye and gave a subtle nod. Essa looked at him. "What are you up to?"  
He gave her a small wink. "You'll have to wait and see." To the crowd he said "My lords and ladies, if I may draw your attention to the southern sky please." The nobles mumbled amongst themselves looking around. "The SOUTH, the south (bunch of idiots)." Everyone looked south, muttering a while before falling completely silent. Then they heard a screaming whistle and a loud pop and a burst of color appeared in the sky hanging there like a burning flower. The crowd gasped, then several more whistles and pops and the crowd gasped again. There was scattered applause and even a few people cowering in fear. Varric turned to Essa, whose face was lit up in fascination. With every burst the crowd was painted different colors as the booms echoed off the stone. Keldorn's daughters Leona and Vesper scrambled to sit on the walls and watched eagerly.   
"A little something from back home I managed to get our friend Jan to whip up. Fireworks. The nobles love this sort of stuff." Varric said. "Who knew sparks could be pretty, huh?"  
"Father, I want those at my debut party!" sniffed a young noblewoman nearby. Heh. Here we go. Varric leaned closer to Essa. "Great advertising, huh? I'll leave you and Jan the formula. You can use for good or evil. I uh, 'borrowed' it from a friend."  
Weird. She was awfully quiet. Come to think of it she hadn't said much in a while, days even. Normally the cleric was a little chatterbox and not afraid to say what she thought even at the risk of putting her foot in her mouth.   
"Are you blind AND stupid?" She said at last, with no real bite in her words. Varric took a breath and was poised to speak but all that came out was "What?"  
"I'll take that as 'yes'; why do you people continue to follow me around? What do you get out of it? Gold? Gold can be earned elsewhere. Travel? Hire a bloody caravan. Fodder for stories? Rip off any old book, other adventurers do it all the time."  
"Well listen to Miss Independent here. "  
She turned and looked him straight in the eye. "Do not mock me. "  
"Stop acting all hard like you want us to go away to protect us. I know that's exactly what you're doing. Here, have some wine." He handed her a full goblet which she ripped from his hand and drank from in large unladylike gulps. She wiped her mouth on her sleeve before saying. "Not everyone, just you. The others I can get rid of as easily as badly started letters."  
Varric lowered his own cup, now empty. "Wait, now I'm confused. Do you want me to go or not?"  
"I see my error; I let my friendships get in the way of power and...and the end of all of this Bhaalspawn nonsense. I should just go it alone. " She waved her hand erratically.  
"Power hungry Essa? That's a version I haven't seen. And do you really think you could get rid of Jaheira?"  
"As I said, thrown away like bad letters. They would respect my wishes."  
"Do you realize how incredibly stupid and selfish you sound right now?"  
She slammed the cup down on the stone wall. "No Varric, you're treating this like a vacation when you are setting yourself up for a fate worse than death. Countless people want me dead or worse and they will not spare you. This is not a joke! " Her voice softened. "Please. Go tomorrow. Take Mithiriel with you. Treat her well." She handed him a framed drawing. "Here, I drew this and had it framed...something to remember us by. Also, people tend to forget that Oghma is a god of travelers so there is a travel blessing engraved on it."  
Varric took the frame and set it aside carefully, not taking his eyes off Essa. "Why would I want to take Mithiriel?" And why give me a memento if you just want me to bugger off?  
Essa wrung her hands, playing with her fingers. "Well- don't you...- don't you care for her?"  
"What's wrong with you, Essa? We never talk anymore!" Varric put the back of his hand to his forehead melodramatically.  
Finally she started up. "Because I'm starting to see that this 'party' thing -both of them- was a horrible idea. Because yes, I'm a selfish martyr who would rather die alone than watch more people I love suffer. Because, I have to silently grapple with the urge to slaughter everyone here right now and I would have to find the guts to let them bring me to whatever justice they figure out rather than off myself like a coward. Because there might come a time when my powers fail and I can't save you. And I can't lose you, Varric. I can't." She paused for breath. " I would rather see you off to wherever you came from than watch you perish because of me." She paused again and nearly a full minute passed before she spoke once more. "Because for all your smug idiocy, your blatant lies and your constant mocking of me...I love you. I love you. There, another girl has fallen into your honey trap. Go ahead and laugh." Her voice shook as she choked with what were impending tears. She turned away and bit the second knuckle of her middle finger.  
All Varric said (his brain was now fried) was "Another girl?" He was genuinely puzzled. What was she talking about?  
Essa laughed bitterly turning back to face him, a wild look in her eyes. "I know you told Mithiriel the truth about Marian Hawke! She was madly in love with you and you turned her down because of your-...your crossbow!"  
Varric clapped his hands on his face. "That was what I told the Seeker. Do you want to know the truth? Fine! This will be the first time I tell the truth when someone figures out no two stories match; be grateful! Truth was -absolute no-lie swear to the Maker- Marian and I had a thing, it was brief. But that asshole brother of hers mocked us incessantly. We became a laughing stock, stressed about rumors and hearsay and broke up. So my own rumors came back to bite me in the ass. Poetic justice, right?"  
"I'm sorry, Varric. I didn't know."   
He started to raise a hand but it fell back down to his side. "It's ok. You didn't know. I didn't want anyone to know. It was a bad experience but I'm over it. " From his pocket he withdrew a handkerchief and held it out to her. "Maker...crying when I meet you and crying when you want me to go. Ever heard of a handkerchief? They come in handy. Never in a crisis of your life have I known you to have a handkerchief." She smiled and accepted the gesture, drying her eyes.  
"These times...for all their danger and terror...they've been fun. I will cherish the days I spent with you."  
"Oh don't get mushy on me." He put his arm around her shoulders.  
"Mushy? I just gave you the ultimate mush speech."  
He kissed her temple. They watched the last of Jan's fireworks light up the sky, though they did not outshine the stars. Varric thought back to the first time he stargazed with Essa and tried to remember the constellations she pointed out. He felt Essa's shoulders tense as she said "So what now? "  
" What 'what now'?"  
"I...sort of told you something important. And..judging from the way you didn't run from me in terror I assume means...?"  
Varric's head swam with excuses. You're too young (by your dwarven culture's standards but not mine); we're too different. We're from other worlds. You kick in your sleep. But nothing stuck. Maker he did care immensely for the little redheaded lightning bolt. You adorable, dorky, neurotic, half-god....beautiful, smart, wonderful WONDERFUL woman. "Oh Essa, you've poisoned me. "  
She leaned her head against him and he drew her closer."I didn't say it to make you stay, I just...I wanted you to know."  
"And do you think I'd leave after that beautiful speech?"  
"Alright, I get your general idea. I won't make you say anything. But you never answered my question about Mithiriel..."  
He snorted. "Rebound. She's great and all but...too much leg. I like my women stout."  
"Huh. Guess I resurrected her for nothing."  
"What? You raised her because you thought I...? WOW, Essa. Just...wow. "  
"Don't make me say it again, Varric. You know how it goes. I'd do anything..."  
He smiled, raising his eyebrows. "Anything? "  
Glancing aside Essa made a rude gesture at what he assumed was Imoen being nosy. Varric looked around then leaned over conspiratorially. "This party sucks. Want to ditch and go do body shots at the Coronet?"  
Her nose wrinkled."No! ...not in this outfit. I spent WAY too much time getting scrubbed, polished and stuffed into a corset to go to some nasty little dive. Let's spike the punch."  
"Um. No. "  
)(

"If you fall off this wall I will not jump after you." Varric poured another shot of dragon's breath brandy into Essa's glass of punch. "For a priest you sure get drunk a lot."  
"You're slurring worse than I am! And...and we're dwarves, society exp-ess..expects us to get drunk" She drained her glass. "You look like a sodding fop in that outfit by the way."  
"Well YOU look like a cream puff."  
They faced one another then burst into hissing, wheezing laughter.   
"I'm just kidding." Essa confessed. "You look...really handsome."  
"No, I think you were right with 'fop'. I wish I could see you like this more."  
"Drunk?"  
"No! ...well...yes...but more than that, smiling. It all comes down to Bhaal though, doesn't it? No matter how much you fight it or run away."  
He watched her as she stared at the sky. Clouds obscured most of the stars now, and the smoke from the fireworks lingered in the air. Gone were the wrinkles of concentration and worry. (Wow she cleans up nicely.) If I called her beautiful right now she'd scoff. Nice to know some women still capitalize on their abilities not looks. He still wanted to pay her a compliment, besides being a badass or holding her liquor better than she did before.   
"Your tits look GREAT in that dress."  
(Why does my face hurt all the sudden?)  
"You were looking at my chest?!"  
"Well they-IT was looking at ME!"  
"I'm sorry I hit you."  
"You're ABUSIVE."  
"I am not! It's just a knee-jerk reaction." She flicked imaginary lint off her shoulder.  
"Well Maker, Essa! Have you ever looked in a mirror? If I saw a painting of you I'd leave the mountain halls and walk for miles just to catch a glimpse of you." (Oooh that was smooth. Go me!)  
"And this is the part where I say 'When I look in the mirror I see a monster'. OOOOH!!!!" She raised her hands, wiggling her fingers.   
"Do you really think that?"  
She folded her hands in her lap and nodded. "No."


	16. Holding My Thoughts In My...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood Music:   
> Roads Untraveled - Linkin Park

This time Varric awoke in a tub full of water in only his pants. A corset was draped across his chest and a garland of crushed flowers was on his head. Brr! This water was freezing! He blinked, trying to remember where he and Essa decided to sleep off the brandy. Dragging himself up, he got out of the tub and dried himself as best as he could with the threadbare towel draped on a chair nearby. There was wine spilled everywhere, rose petals underfoot, and food strewn about. Hearing his stomach growl he found an intact roll, and disregarding the five second rule dusted it off and took a bite. Mouth full, he stuck his head out the open door. An overturned food cart was in the hall, and a pair of womens' undergarments were proudly displayed on a potted plant. Ah. Mithrest. Home sweet home.  
Closing the door, Varric heard a moan coming from the bed. It was piled high with blankets, probably two dozen or more. Someone was moving underneath. As he approached, the blankets pooled onto the floor and hanging her head upside down off the edge of the bed was Essa.   
"Oh, good morning!" She smiled and turned over into a sitting position. Varric noted she was wearing his red tunic. This again? Well she's happy to see me, must have shown her a good ti-NO!! BAD!! Essa wolf whistled at his naked upper body, which Varric huffily covered with that crappy towel causing her to cackle.Varric searched the room for the rest of his clothes, tossing aside pillows and kicking bottles. "So is this the hilarious part where we think we did the deed?"  
She tilted her head and smiled thoughtfully. "No, you were a gentleman. Apart from the hickies."  
"I'm kidding, I remember. And sorry. Got a little carried away with the body shots. I uh, saw some nice scarves at the Promenade." Varric poured two glasses of water, recalling their first meeting. Slinging the towel over his shoulder he took a sip.  
"They are not on my neck."  
Varric spat the water back out. He turned to look at her. She smiled sweetly at him and her heartfelt confession played again in his head. Of course nothing was certain. Yet it was. What was the right thing to do, to say? Part of him wanted to stay and protect her, part of him wanted to take her back to Thedas, away from all this mess. But she wouldn't go. Varric already knew how she'd answer. 'I won't leave my friends'. He brought her the water and sat down on the bed beside her before falling backwards with a heavy sigh. He heard her set the empty glass on the floor. She curled up beside him and laid her arm across his chest.   
"Essa..."  
"Mm?"  
"Nothing."  
Ah. Why spoil it. He brushed aside the hair that had fallen into her eyes. "Can I have my shirt back?"  
"No."  
"Then I will just take it off of you."  
They lay there like that for a while and enjoyed being nobodies. Varric recalled a conversation between himself, Sir Keldorn and Jaheira regarding Essa's Bhaalspawn nature. For all the guidance and support, they suspected if Essa rationalized it in her head that becoming a god would be the right thing to do, she would do it. No doubt her wheels were turning yet Varric saw her now so content with the simplest gestures...surely she would do no such thing. He had a similar chat with Mithiriel on immortality and the long lives of Elves and other races. There were many things they took for granted. The simple farmers yearned for adventure and the adventurers yearned for normalcy. Why can't anyone be happy with what they have? He'd spent enought time putting the Merchant's Guild back together after Hawke and the others split, then once things settled down a bit Varric even threw a lot of coin into rebuilding Kirkwall. It was still his home after all. He managed to walk by the old Hawke estate without getting choked up or pining for adventure. Mithiriel told him to be content; he was obviously here for a reason. Essa eventually got out of bed -albeit very reluctantly- surrendered Varric's tunic and got dressed for travel. She wandered downstairs presumably to apologize profusely for the mess while Varric dressed and was left alone for a moment, taking the opportunity to calibrate Bianca.

What seemed like careful work was a meditation of sorts. While his hands did the all familiar motions he had time to think, and more importantly focus. It was almost like having a conversation with an old friend. By the time he finished Essa returned and with Bianca safely on his back they set out to find their four companions. Then it was onward to Tethyr and Suldenessellar.  
)(

The fog began to clear and in his ears -in his entire being- Varric could hear a soft hum. He groaned and tried to turn over. Then the whispers came again. His senses seemed to have all been negated and one by one they returned to him. His vision was still a little blurry and it felt like cotton had been stuffed into his ears but he could smell...warm earth and leaves. Funny, all the treks through nature had made him loathe that scent but it was welcoming now. Where am I? He intended to ask the question aloud but his mouth didn't work. This time he discerned two words;   
"...not move...."   
Mithiriel? No, not Mithiriel. She was elven, but her beauty was...otherworldly. She laid her hand on his forehead. "Please do not move. You are badly wounded. The healers are on their way, just hold on."  
Varric's brow furrowed as he tried to recall what happened. It danced on the periphery of his thoughts. They arrived at the city, confronted Irenicus...then what...? "Essa...Keldorn...Jaheira...Imoen, Nalia....where are they?"  
She hesitated. "Do not... concern yourself with them, Varric."  
How does she know my name...? "Who are you?"  
An elven man rushed in, panting. "My queen, we have found more survivors. Where shall we put them?"  
"Place them in the House of the Horn if they are not wounded. If they are wounded bring them to the temple."  
The man glanced at Varric. "This one yet lives? The gods must be at your back, dwarf."  
"What is it you're not telling me?" Varric wheezed and tried to get up again but two elves held him down while a third cast healing magics over him. Feeling renewed he bolted from the cot and glared at the queen. "I know who you are now, you're Ellesime. Irenicus had a lot to say about you."  
The elves nearby gasped and looked to Queen Ellesime, expecting her to punish him or reprimand him perhaps but she merely lowered her gaze. "Yes...he was once my...consort. A powerful mage. He tried to sap the magic of the Tree of Life and raise himself to godhood-"  
"Using Essa's and Imoen's souls. Now where are they?" Maybe it was how woozy he still felt, maybe he'd finally lost it but Varric didn't feel the need to be formal or respectful with this...this idiot of a queen!   
"Look around you, Varric. "  
Varric slowly turned to see five cots, each with a white sheet draped over them. One of them had a helm beside it...Keldorn's helm. Another was...very small.... He suddenly felt as though he'd been stabbed with icicles and became aware he was not breathing. "Dead..." He whispered then glared sharply at Ellesime. "They're dead! All of them! Because of you!"  
The elves gasped and one said "How dare you! You will show the queen respect!" but Ellesime met Varric's gaze and from her voluminous robes raised a hand for silence."I did what I thought was best."  
"What you thought was best...Your majesty, if I had a sovreign for every time I heard that. Do you have any idea -ANY idea- the chaos you caused? And not just for your city, are you aware that Irenicus kidnapped Essa and her friends, killed two of them and tortured the rest?" He paused for breath. "And don't try and hand me some 'greater good' bullshit, you KNEW Irenicus was dangerous, you KNEW he could use his power even without a soul, it was only a matter of time before he took his revenge. Did you really think he would take this time to redeem himself?"  
The queen stood there and took his tongue-lashing in silence. "And do you get punished?" He went on, "No, WE'RE the ones who were punished." He stormed over to the cots and ripped off the shrouds. "Don't cover them up, I think you should have to see the faces of those who suffered due to your idiocy!" Varric shook his head. What had come over him? Yet the elves all remained silent. Leave it to the blasted elves playing god and thinking they know everything.  
Varric lingered over the small, still form he knew to be Essa. He pulled the shroud down gently as though he was planning to awaken her from slumber and pressed his cheek to her forehead. I'm sorry, Essa. I don't know why I'm still here. I'm sorry I'm a sodding coward who never told you-...a lot of things. I'm a bigger idiot than the queen. He chuckled in spite of himself.  
"Varric."   
He turned bleary-eyed to see the queen beside him. "I just want to go home."   
"I know. You are not of Toril. We can attempt to raise them but...do not trust to hope."  
Varric remembered the first time he saw Essa raise someone from the dead. He had trouble sleeping after that. Seeing the elves try, without success, to raise them was indescribably terrifying. The bodies were intact, what was wrong? His head was spinning. And if they died why was he still alive? Queen Ellesime ushered him out of the temple leaving the clerics to their work and they were escorted to the glade where the elves must have figured out how to move a dragon carcass, yet the place still reeked. Druids cleansed the area, burning bundles of sage in their hands.  
"Your majesty..." Varric started but she shook her head.  
"Do not apologize. I deserved every word of it. I can only hope I can redeem myself. Perhaps..."  
An elven man stepped forward and gave Varric a nod and bowed slightly to the queen. "This is Rhys, a mage of my court. "  
Varric made a weak, closemouthed unintelligible syllable. Yeah a mage, who cares. Rhys held out something, a palm-sized stone, cut with eight sides and glowing with runes. Glowing with lyrium. "The keystone...where did you get that?"  
Rhys raised his dark eyebrows. "It was delivered to me along with a note signed with the initials 'HD'. The mysterious sender apparently found a way to attune his portal gem to find the source of 'lyrium'"  
HD...portal gem...Haer'Dalis, you magnificent bastard. He tried to smile, but it still hurt.   
"It will take some time, " Rhys went on "possible a matter of hours, but we will have you home."  
Varric sighed and looked on as Rhys pushed up his sleeves and began waving his hand over gem and keystone, both floating away of their own accord. Now waving both hands the lyrium on the keystone glowed brightly and even sparked, reacting to the raw foreign magic. A pinpoint of light appeared. Rhys' face flushed, and he struggled to maintain the magic.  
"We will send for you when the portal is large enough. Go and rest." said Queen Ellesime.  
Who cares...Varric though bitterly. Though never in his dreams could he imagine a place more beautiful than Suldenessellar, he sat on one of the divans in the gazebo and stared at the group drawing Essa had given him. How did things get so bad? I'm being punished or something...he sat there for a long time, not moving or speaking. It was only when an elf called his name that he looked up and stared at her.  
"What is it?" He was surprised at the roughness of his voice.  
"I know not, I was simply told to fetch you immediately."  
Time for the goodbyes. He swore to himself he wouldn't weep...how unmanly....if Ellesime the Wonder Queen gave him some magical trinket and the city's thanks he'd tell her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Oh wait, the sun DOES shine out of her ass, doesn't it? Stupid elf queen.


	17. The Long Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Song: Save Me Once Again - The Rasmus

Trudging back to the temple, Varric felt as though his boots had been filled with lead. Deep down was a spark of joy that he would finally be going home but it was surrounded by grief. The lump in his throat grew as he approached Essa's body. Ok. My dead friend. Thanks. He then tilted his head to get a correct view of her face. The color wasn't gone; this was no lifeless cadaver, dead for days.  
"She began to stir a a moment ago. " Queen Ellesime's voice came from behind him. She laid a hand on his shoulder and the other on Essa's forehead. "He soul is fighting its way back from Hell."  
Varric's vision clouded and he head a female voice singing softly in his mind. Then his thoughts were invaded by ones not his own...he saw an old man smiling, saying "Come, little one, it's time for lessons." to which a little girl voice answered "Aw Father....the sun's not up yet."  
The visions flew by like they were his own racing thoughts. He then saw a little girl of perhaps ten, dressed in an over sized weather-stained cloak, thin and pale from hunger. "This is Imoen, she'll be living here with us."  
Flowering gardens, horses, temple shrine, the sun setting into the sea, the night sky, boring lessons. "Imoen stole my cookies!" "Did not!"  
"When I grow up I'm going to be an adventurer, just like in the stories Gorion tells!" "Oh Imoen, you're so silly." 

"Lassie, ya nae be a proper dwarf lest ye make a proper smith! Ye can't even forge a hobnail! Off with ye!"  
"Father, I decided I'm gonna be a priest! The priests of Oghma will train me, so if you ever get hurt I will make you better."  
An angry old monk slammed his hand on a desk. "Essa! Pay attention! Give me the drawing." Then the same monk "Essa...arithmetic requires practice, which you will not get skipping lessons. Double homework tonight and I will speak to your father to make sure it is done."  
A young Imoen holding her bloodied hand. "Oh let's go to the shrine..." "No we'll get in trouble, we're not supposed to even be here. I can heal it." "No you can't." "Yes I can! "  
A young woman; "Essa, did Gorion tell you about...you know...when a girl becomes a woman?" (Oh Maker, next!)  
"Father...where did I come from? " Gorion stopped. The young woman. "Essa you're still not getting out of eating your carrots." "But Phlydia-" "What does it matter, you're here! You have me, Gorion, Winthrop and Imoen, and we all love you." Young Essa slamming down her fork. "I'm not stupid. We all know Father isn't my...father...I'm a full blooded dwarf, I want to know who my parents were! Did they own a mine? Are they adventurers, what happened to them?" "Essa, stop." "Why won't you tell me?"  
A priest of Oghma. "Child, be grateful for what you have. Not all knowledge is for you." "I think the dwarves from whom I sprung should be known to me. Reevor says I'm a shield dwarf, maybe if I wrote the clans-" "Essa...you break your father's heart with these inquiries do you not see? One must not look back to move forward. Look around you; you have shelter and love. Do not dig up the past."  
"Father...I love you." "And I you, Essa."  
The Imoen he recognized, but with less scars and more smiles. "Essa, it's time to open presents!" "Coming!" Tearing open simply wrapped gifts. Phlydia; "Ohh watching the girls enjoy Winter Solstice just brings me joy." Giving Gorion a bundle wrapped in burlap and a giant sweet roll. "Happy Solstice, Father." The mage smiles.  
More of the same old-same old blurred by and Varric was getting dizzy. What was all this, her entire life flashing before *his* eyes?  
Gorion looking panicked. "Essa, equip yourself for travel, we must leave immediately." "But...why?"  
"Please, do as I say."  
A tall figure in black armor. "Hand over your ward and no one will be hurt."  
"Run, child!"  
"Father!"  
Blindly running through a sparsely wooded area, throwing one look back over her shoulder.

Cradling Gorion's body. "FATHER!! No..." Imoen; "We have to leave..."  
"M-my name is Khalid and this is m-my wife J-Jaheira." Good old Jaheira, giving a curt nod.  
Minsc and Boo! Smiling Dynaheir, mischievous Imoen, stoic Jaheira and her stammering Khalid; in a deep mine, a castle, dozens of battles, Beregost, Baldur's Gate...Candlekeep once more.  
Crumpling a letter in her hand. Jaheira. "What's wrong?"  
"N-nothing. I'm fine."  
"You knew!? And you didn't tell me?"  
"Well come on Es, not like you could just bring it up in casual conversation. 'How was your day, dear? Oh by the way you're the spawn of a dead god of murder. Eat your peas.' "  
"Shut UP, Imoen!"  
"It's done. I've...killed...I've avenged my father. I..."  
"Essa, wake up! - " "-there was fighting...I escaped my cage."  
"I'm not going with him! I'm not! Help me, please!"

Jaheira despairs "Where are the mirrors, the switches to pull to show where he is hidden...! Khalid..."  
Varric finally saw...himself. So it was true. She'd watch him then the moment he turned to look back she turned away. He recalled the same places and people of these months spend together. It had been months. Months! Over and over again he saw himself through her eyes as she looked to him.  
Your eyes. (Huh?)  
Your eyes...they're a pretty color.  
What? Varric thought to himself. Then he realized it was Essa's memories again.  
I like the way you smile.  
And laugh.  
What is this weird feeling I get when you smile at me like that? You don't flirt with me anymore. I know I said I didn't like it but...you flirt with every other woman. I guess I'm jealous.  
Getting ready for the Firecam party. "This is going to sound really stupid...but-...I think I have feelings for Varric."  
Imoen. "Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Aerie. "That's wonderful but...he's going to go home."  
"I know, I can't ask him to stay....that would be selfish."  
Jaheira. " People change for the ones they love. Do you recall how Khalid and I met? I was part of a group that rescued him from a group of Zhentarim. After that, he still took up a sword and followed me into battle. If Varric is the right one for you (and in my opinion he is not) he will make sacrifices for you. "  
Aerie again. "She's right, you know. Love changes people for the better. "  
Imoen. "All you can do is tell him how ya feel, Es. And if he breaks your heart I'll smash him to pieces."

I tried not to tell you, but it spilled out. I had to know. I still don't know what you feel. I like to think you feel the same way.

She tried to write a letter  
I...love....y-

Crumpled it into a ball. 

I wonder what it's like to-...does he think I'm-....Irenicus...damn you....why can't I just- I want to run away from here. I want to smell blood again soon or I will go mad. Oghma protect us. Why do I wake up every morning? Oh Lord of Knowledge what am I to do? My heart pulls me elsewhere. Another cleric of Oghma spoke. "I cannot counsel you on matters of the heart, seeker. Here you might find knowledge, but not wisdom. The heart is cruel, it can cause us to stray...."  
Varric?

"Varric?"  
Blinking rapidly Varric came to, staring at the speaker. "Essa...!"  
She lay there staring at him. "I'm back."  
Queen Ellesime stepped aside and Varric took Essa's hand. "Yeah." They exchanged smiles.  
The others stirred, all waking from the same nightmare.  
"Whoa, what a trip. Guess you can say you have friends that will go with you to Hell and back." Imoen said as she hugged Essa.A messenger whispered something to the queen, who nodded. She turned to face him. "It is time."  
"I changed my mind."  
Essa's mouth fell open. Ellesime shook her head. "You must go. The gods decree it. They have given plenty of leeway up to this point but they will not allow you to sway a Child of Bhaal from her path."  
Varric inclined his head toward her and Essa held his hand with both of hers. "What?"  
"Your presence here is a danger to our world, and yours. Essa's destiny-"  
Essa sat up and shot the queen the most vicious glare Varric had ever seen. "To the NINE HELLS with destiny!"  
"Essa, please." The queen begged. "It is no secret you wish to leave Abeir-Toril. But think of all the innocents who will die in the conflict-"  
"Many innocents have died from many conflicts, your majesty." Essa said tiredly, turning to dangle her legs off the cot.

"The prophecy of Bhaal is coming full circle. There are many Bhaalspawn, some with immense power who give in to the call of their blood and will stop at nothing to gather the essence of their sire to take for their own. Do you not also want to spare Varric from this?"  
Essa did not answer. Varric gently touched her face. "Hey...look at me." He tilted her chin up but her eye were still lowered, though she flicked them up once to look. She chuckled darkly.  
"The gods literally conspire to keep us apart, huh?"  
'The gods don't like it' was a rather weak argument. Even if he stayed it would be a while before he adjusted. And....and that wasn't exactly fair to ask of him. "When your destiny is fulfilled," He said with a flourish "then your fate is yours to make, isn't that how these things work?"  
Maker, how many times had they said goodbye? It really hurt this time though. He'd already made up his mind to stay.  
"I don't understand." Essa said pitifully, holding onto his arm with both of hers as she turned her gaze toward Ellesime.  
"I cannot put it any plainer than this; to defy the gods is to unmake reality. They have said as much to me. They will start a war with the Maker of Thedas and all will be undone. "  
"Well wouldn't you know it; the gods didn't even expect this to happen." Varric smirked, but it fell when Essa gazed at him fearfully. She traced her fingers along his hairline.  
"I thought nothing could come between us. "  
Interplanar relationships do put a damper on things, Varric thought. "This isn't...the way I wanted things to turn out."  
Jaheira approached them, and even she seemed at a loss for words. "I want nothing more than Essa's happiness but...the balance is at stake. I am sorry for the way things must be, Varric. I bid you farewell."  
Nalia smiled at them. "When I said I'd miss you Varric, I meant it."  
"Oh don't get sappy on me, princess." Varric said as she put her arm around him and gave him a half-hug.  
"Father said happiness mattered more than material wealth. And I think...it is better to be truly loved by a few than blindly adored by countless others."

"Yeah, well remember what I told you..."  
"About not being a self-indulgent perpetual people pleaser?"

"That, and what else?"

"Don't...help people because it makes YOU feel good?"

"And?"

"Ask questions, THEN fireball."  
Varric chuckled. "The most important lesson of all. Take care, Nalia."  
A weight on his shoulders only meant one person. "Imoen...it's a shame we didn't get to hang out longer. I could have taught you how to cheat your sister at cards." He patted her arm as she hugged his neck from behind.  
"It's too bad, you and Essa are so cute together." Imoen said in a sugary sweet tone that made Essa blush furiously. Varric chuckled nervously.  
"Some thing are simply not meant to be." Sir Keldorn said quietly, laying his hand on Essa's shoulder. " It is said that many people cross our paths, and some will walk it with us. Even as short as our road was, I am honored to have met you, Varric." He held out his hand and without hesitation Varric took it in a brief clasp of friendship. "May the gods watch over you."  
Varric turned to Essa, who stood there quietly fidgeting. "Varric, I..." She started. He held out his hands and in an instant her arms were around his neck. "I'm going to miss you." Varric sighed for the hundredth time, returning her embrace.  
"Don't break on me. You're made of stronger stuff."  
She hugged him tighter. "You can't go!"

"I have to go (ow), or the universe will explode. You heard the queen. (Huh, can't believe it was such a big deal)-........!"  
And what a way to interrupt his train of thought than that kiss. It hurt a bit and was pretty brief. Not so much a kiss as accidentally hitting me with her mouth So surprised was Varric that when Essa withdrew he barely blinked. "I'm sorry. "She said. "That was probably pretty bad."

Hm. I've had worse. Looking around he realized they were alone, thank the Maker. Imoen or maybe Nalia had booted everyone out. "Walk with me to the portal?" he asked and she nodded. Taking her hand Varric led Essa to the portal where Rhys sat rubbing his temples with one hand. "The portal will not hold much longer." The mage warned. He held up the keystone, dull and lifeless. "It has broken. We are not sure why."  
Varric took a breath. "I know what it is you want me to say, Essa. And I hope you know the last thing I want to do is..."  
"Hurt me? " She replied dully. " If I'd come to terms sooner on how I felt about you I would have told you every single day. But I guess that doesn't matter."

"I can't give you what you need."  
She smiled. "You already did." Cued from his puzzled expression she went on. "You became part of my little group. I thought, 'he knows what being disconnected feels like. ' You made me laugh when I didn't want to, helped me save Imoen-"

"Saved you from public intoxication."

"That, too. " She held his hands on both of hers, then said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I will always love you, Varric. May....may Oghma guard your path. Farewell."

She let go and turned away, but he caught her wrist gently. "Try again?" Before she could speak he kissed her this time. One of those big damn kisses at the end of every good story. It took all his willpower to drag himself away but he slowly let go of Essa's hand and stepped into the portal.....

)(

A vast column of smoke rose in the distance, darkening the sky. Embers and ashes swept in the hot wind as the fire consumed far off Saradush. The party of Gorion's Ward rested on an abandoned homestead. Sir Anomen plopped down on the stone ruins. "I cannot sleep. All I see when I close my eyes are the fire of Saradush, feel the heat on my skin and smell the smoke! I hear the cries of the dying..."

Essa grunted. "Yes, we are all thoroughly traumatized. Now will you help me heal these people?" Around them all were the wounded refugees, those lucky enough to escape the doomed city of Saradush. They passed out potions, food, whatever they had. Most were loathe to allow Essa's assistance knowing of her Bhaalspawn nature.  
"Let us not give too much of ourselves. We still need enough provisions to make it to Amekethran." Jaheira said.  
Furrowing her brow, Essa realized her powers were all but spent. Perhaps some basic first aid could help more than divine magic. Tying an old sash around a man's bleeding leg, she pulled it tightly and holding it in her teeth reached for her pack fishing blindly for any cloth she had left. I know I have an old cloak in here somewhere, she thought. But her groping fingers instead brushed something foreign, something small and hard. Then a faint blue light shimmered briefly then went out. Shrugging, Essa assumed it was the glow of a potion. Potion! That's what I have plenty of. Digging further she took out a healing potion and pulling the cork with her teeth instructed the wounded man to drink.  
Now though she felt uneasy, as though some small fiend had found its way into her pack. Taking up a stick, she tipped over her pack, causing some of its contents to spill out. There in the dust, wrapped in a scrap of fabric , was a small roundish object. Or half of one. Taking it up,she cautiously unwrapped it. Probably a lump of coal courtesy of Imoen. A folded note fell onto her lap. As the cloth fell away she unfolded the note. 

_Dearest raven Essa,  
I have visted many planes, but this sparrow has found a gem of a place called Thedas! And yes, I have met with Varric in my travel, though brief. We shared fine brews and tales. He spoke of you with hopeless yearning whilst deep in his cups! I have included his message; _

There, the style of handwriting changed;

_Essa,_  
 _Hope to see you at the Hanged Man soon._ -V 

Back to Haer'Dalis' writing.

_I am searching for a way to link our two worlds. Yea but love is a fleeting thing, I wish to see how reuniting two lovers from two planes will affect us. Yours has been a fascinating tale and I wish to oversee how the next chapter is written. I shall write as soon as I am able._

_Yours most truly,  
Haer'Dalis _

Essa dropped the letter, eyes wide. Then, not noticing the man staring at her, started to laugh, even as tears began to stream down her face. She laughed a little louder and the tears came faster. Tears of joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it. Took me a while to get the ending the way I wanted without being too Disney. I don't like gift-wrapped endings, and might whip up some multiple one-shots to show how this 'Essa in Thedas' would work out. (Outlook; not so good in the words of the Magic 8 Ball). 
> 
> This story was a joy and a pain at the same time. I will be happy to wrap up any loose ends here, and if anyone has a question feel free to message me and I will post it here if it has not been addressed.
> 
> Q. Wait a second...how old *is* Essa?
> 
> Baldurdash: Weeeeell that's a question for the ages, pun intended. BioWare didn't seem to follow their own story from chapter to chapter in the Baldur's Gate Bhaalspawn saga, as the Player Character is told to be twenty. However elves are considered adults at one hundred, dwarves at fifty and so on. Now we have to remember that A. The PC does not remember his/her background and B. Bhaal foresaw his death at an unspecified time, therefore a longer lived character being born at the Time of Troubles is not completely infeasible. Fanfic writers who worry about such things generally assume the Bhaalspawn nature makes one age rapidly OR the PC's as old as their required race's adults, and no one is sure of their exact age. 
> 
> As dwarven ages are not discussed in Dragon Age, this is probably a moot point. I thought about working a joke in where Essa remarks petulantly that she is fifty-one, a grown woman, thankyouverymuch to our hero's great confusion.  
> If I had to guess, I'd say Varric would be in the neighborhood of the dwarven equivalent of late twenties-mid thirties.  
> So, say it's like a twenty-four year old with a thirty-three-ish year old. It's totally cool.
> 
> Q. How did you think of this story?
> 
> Baldurdash: I had a dream about it. No, I don't lucid dream like Jenna Silverblade (you should totally listen to manwithoutabody's dramatic reading of the badfic My Inner Life. It is pure gold.) I just randomly dreamed I was a dwarven Bhaalspawn asking Varric to stay with me because I was afraid of being the Slayer again. True story. 
> 
> Q. Why did Varric kiss Mithirel?
> 
> Baldurdash: It has been my experience (and admittedly the case according to Mr. Baldurdash) that boys like to 'try on' girls before they do anything else with them. Notice I say 'boys'; men generally aren't *that* fickle. Not to be down on all you guys, girls do it too! 
> 
> Really, Varric was stuffing his feelings and you can't be perverted around a love interest. It's a trope for a reason.
> 
> Q. Speaking of Mithiriel, what happened to her?
> 
> Baldurdash: She's on holiday. Last we saw her she was plane hopping with Haer'Dalis and decided to stay in Azeroth with those tasty dranei men.


End file.
